The new specimen was waking up. Lord Xaurkoth unsealed the entrance to the specimen chamber and reared up to his full majesty, allowing only two of his tentacles to bear his weight. In this gravity, of course, even the weakest brood-swaddler could have maintained this stance, but the specimen didn't need to know that. It only needed to know that Lord Xaurkoth reigned supreme here.
As it began to move, Xaurkoth studied the beast. It was always fascinating, studying the dominant life form of a new system-the automatic probes did their work without any direct supervision, homing in on the transmissions most likely to indicate sentient life and assimilating the totality of their culture through a scan of their archived information storage before settling on the most receptive specimen for first contact based on that scan. Xaurkoth didn't generally enter into the process at all until the first captive was taken and it was time to inform them that their world was under a new dominion. He was always intrigued by the results.
In this case, the creature appeared stiff and ungainly. Its flesh grew around an inflexible network of calcium deposits, forcing it into a rigid and limited range of motion. The eyes, though...as it unveiled them from behind its protective shroud of dry, pale skin, Xaurkoth was struck by how adaciamite they were. Even the color seemed familiar, a deep blue that reminded Xaurkoth of the skies of Adacia on a warm morning during neartide. The similarity shook him slightly, but he drew in his tentacles and refused to let it show.
It looked up at him with wide eyes, no doubt stricken with primitive terror at his majesty. It was tiny, insignificant compared to him-its full body, stiff limbs and all, was barely the size of his central mass. Reared up on his tentacles like this, he towered over it. He wondered idly if it would express that terror with servility or defiance. It mattered not-a session or two under the Thought Transformer and it would eagerly betray its own species. But he always found the process of unraveling the minds of lesser species worth a few moments of time before the Thought Transformer did the same thing more crudely and literally.
"I am Lord Xaurkoth," he said, certain that the servitor drone hovering at his shoulder would translate his words into the beast's own language. "I am the brood-progenitor of the planet Adacia, some three hundred light-years from your Earth. Ours is an ancient and noble people, scions of a glorious history of conquest that spans a quarter of the galaxy. And now we have come to enslave your world."
The beast looked up at him, an unreadable expression in its soulful eyes. Finally, it spoke. "That is so cool," it whispered.
Xaurkoth looked over at the servitor drone, suspecting a fault. It wasn't the use of metaphorical speech that perplexed him; the automatic probes had done their work well, producing an entire cultural index that he could tap on demand to bridge the vast cultural gaps that existed between species. He understood perfectly that the creature wasn't literally suggesting that conquest would lower the temperature of its home planet.
It was suggesting that the act of being conquered was desirable. Possessed of an indefinable glamour. Captivating and exciting. 'Cool'. Xaurkoth had personally crushed opposition to his will on 427 inhabited worlds. He had never heard the act of being defeated and enslaved described in exactly those terms.
He decided to try again. "Perhaps your primitive mind is unable to comprehend me, beast," he said, knowing the servitor drone would pick up every iota of contempt in his voice. "Your world's existence as a free planet has ended. The Adacians have chosen you as our next conquest. We will crush your fragile spirits, one sentient at a time. You have been selected by our automatic probes as the most vulnerable to our processing methods-what." He paused, as the creature began to convulse uncontrollably, exhaling in staccato bursts. "What is this, what are you doing, what?"
The beast attempted several times to vocalize again, but it could only manage a word or two before the choking exhalations began again. Its eyes lubricated copiously, and it seemed unable to sustain its balance. Xaurkoth silently ordered an immediate medical diagnostic, but the information from the probes indicated no illness or injury. It merely appeared to have experienced an unexpected emotional reaction to the information.
"I'm sorry," it said at last, as the fit subsided, "I just...oh, you have no fucking idea." It exhaled sharply through its secondary breathing passage, making a loud snorting noise. "Please, go on."
Xaurkoth looked around, certain that one of his brood-leaders was playing a jest on him. Was there a camera planted in the room? Did they intend to humiliate him by selecting a neurologically impaired specimen for first contact? He double-checked the selection protocols, cross-matching them against a detailed profile of the specimen that he had barely glanced at before now. Everything appeared not just correct, but ideal-the 'human' egg-carrier scored higher on the vulnerability index than any creature Xaurkoth had ever seen. She was a match in every single aspect, the perfect choice to soften the hierarchical structures of the human species in preparation for invasion. And yet, she was responding in a way that no other specimen had.
Xaurkoth lowered himself into a crouch, perching on a more comfortable five tentacles. "No," he said, trying not to let his irritation show. "You have intelligence that you are refusing to share. I will not tolerate defiance from an inferior like this. Explain to me, or you will be punished."
The specimen bared her teeth, and for a moment Xaurkoth thought she was going to attempt violence against him. But instead, she widened her eyes and changed the color of her skin to a reddish hue. "Oh god, you've got so many tentacles," she muttered, fanning her face in some sort of attempt at cooling the blood that was pooling around her mouth. "That's so goddamn hot."
Clearly, the species was drawn to temperature extremes in its metaphors. Xaurkoth glanced through the climatological data. That explained it-irregular axial tilt caused extreme variations in habitability. They must obsess over such things. Curiosity satisfied, he returned to the investigation. "Do not attempt to change the subject," he said, raising his voice in a deliberate attempt to intimidate. "You claimed I had no idea how vulnerable you were. Tell me what you meant by this. Are you an inferior caste? A slave race? What makes you so weak?"