Wife Insurance

WIFE INSURANCE

A Quickie. Best if read aloud...

Please read the Standard Disclaimer on the Alextasy Biography page

--=[OOO]=--

"Do you wuv your wife, Doug?"

I rolled my eyes. Did this short, balding, lazy-tongued dipshit seriously think that appealing to my affections for my wife was gonna convince me to buy his fucking insurance?

Taking a long sip of bourbon--at least dipshit had the decency to order top-shelf--I remembered my promise to my bud Tony. He'd been hounding me for months, telling me I 'really need to talk to this guy'. Tony wasn't the sort to fall for a line like that any more than I was. He had insisted this was important.

So, here I was. I'd heard the bistro at this hotel was good. The free lunch was everything I expected. The talk had been cordial--sports, the market, a few delicate steps around politics. When the waiter took the plates away, Dennis hit me with his pitch.

Okay, I figured I'd go along for Tony's sake.

"Sure, I love my wife," I said.

"No, Doug. I mean, do you weawy wuv Susie?"

My attention was suddenly front and center.

"How do you know my wife's name?" I didn't remember that tidbit coming out in our conversation.

He laid a hotel key card on the table, still in its packet. There was no emotion on his face.

"This is the key to the woom where I'm gonna fuck your wife tonight."

"What kind of shit are you trying to pull?" I demanded. My face was burning up. "Listen, I appreciate the lunch, Dennis, but I think you've stepped over the--"

He smirked. "I bet she was hot as a firecwackuh when she got you in bed two nights ago."

My body jolted to a stop. "H-how do you know about that?"

It was the best sex we'd had in, well...in years. She couldn't strip me naked fast enough. Her mouth got me hard as granite. Even though she loves the way I lick her, she didn't wait for me to return the favor. Still in her sexy new underwear, she pulled the crotch to the side and rode me like a fucking bronco buster. I lost count of her orgasms.

"Did she have that pwetty thong on? You know...the one with bwack wace and the matching bwa?"

"Ohmygod..." I whispered.

"She showed 'em to me at wunch that afternoon," Dennis said. "She was weddy to go upstairs then, but I made her wait for tonight. She musta' been cwanked up."

"No..."

He said, "I bet you thought she was making up for the argument you had on Monday. You know, the one when you said you had to work wate. I don't think you knew she could smell the perfume when you came home. It didn't help when you said she was just bitchy because it was that time of the month."

My heart sank. The bastard had spent time with Susie. A lot of time. She'd told him everything about us. How could she fall for such a short, balding old fart?

Dennis said, "She gave you some excuse why she was busy tonight, didn't she?"

A business dinner. Uptown. With two new clients. That's what she said. That's why she arranged for the sitter when she found out I was 'working' late.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Maybe I could stop this right now. I was bigger and younger than he was. I could lure him out to the garage and beat the crap out of him. Sizing him up, I noticed his stocky build. Muscles bulged from the sleeves of his Hawaiian shirt. No, that wasn't gonna work.

Could I cut Susie off, beg her not to meet him? Would she stop if I threatened divorce? She would get the kids and half of everything I owned. After we split, she could still have him in our bed anytime she wanted.

This dipshit was going to fuck my Susie, and there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it!

"Please, Dennis," I begged, the only option left to me. "Please don't."

The waiter brought the check. Dennis laid his credit card on the tray.

"She was easy," he said. "She just wanted a wittle attention. How wong has it been since you wistened to her?"

"Huh? Whaddaya mean? We...we talk all the time."

Dennis shook his head, smirking at me. "But were you wistening? Or just nodding and thinking about what was waiting for you at work?"

He couldn't know about that...could he?

"How wong has it been since you sent her fwowers, Doug? You know she wuvs pink woses. How wong since you invited your wife out to wunch instead of your secwetawy? If you had dwopped in to see her even once, you might have seen the pink woses I bought for your wife's desk evewy week."

Ohh, fuck! How long has this sonofabitch been working on her?

"When was the wast time you made her feel wike a woman instead of just a mother and a housekeeper? When was the wast time you told her how much you need her?"

The guilt was crushing my heart. I did this. It was all my fault. Now I was terrified that it was too late.

He leaned forward. His eyes narrowed. "Once I get my hands on your sweet Susie, she won't ever be yours again. Evewy time she makes wuv with you, she's gonna be remembering how my fat cock felt inside her hot pussy."

"What do you want? Anything! I'll give you anything, just...just please don't do this."

He paused, eyeing me across the table as he lifted the tumbler to his lips for a long, slow drink.

"I want thwee things," he said, holding up three fingers.

I gulped. He had me by the balls. Did he expect me to do something kinky? Make me suck him off instead of my wife? It didn't matter. Whatever it takes to keep him away from Susie, I decided I'd do it.

"First, you're going to stop fucking awound with Katie."

"We haven't--"

"Stop!" he said loudly, making the people around us look. He shook his short, thick finger at me. "You know what I mean, Doug. No more! Your secwetawy is off-wimits!"

"Okay, okay! It's done," I agreed. "What else?"

"Your pwetty wife will be at the westawant acwoss the wobby at exactwy seven thirty tonight. You know how she is about being on time. I will show up at seven thirty-five. You have five minutes to change your wife's mind."

"Ohgod..." I whispered. Tears clouded my eyes. I wiped them with the back of my sleeve. "O-okay."

"Five minutes, Doug. Take your best shot. Then it's my turn. I gotta tell ya, Susie's been wooking forward to my big cock for a wong, wong time."

Five minutes... Shit! How do I do this? Flowers, for sure. No... One flower. I need to listen to her, like he said. I've really been ignoring her, haven't I? Work's been a bitch, but I made it worse. Five fucking minutes! Shit...

I hadn't noticed when Dennis stood up. He glared down at me.

"Good wuck, Doug. You're gonna need it."

He turned and strode away. He was out the door before I remembered to ask--what was the third thing?

That's when I saw the key card he'd left on the table. The room number was on the packet. I smiled.

--=[OOO]=--

She's so pretty sitting there by herself. The elegant, champagne dress brings out the highlights in her brown hair. She checks her watch anxiously. It's seven twenty-nine. I almost hope he changes his mind. Few things are more satisfying than taking a woman like her from one of those stupid, ego-driven jerks who gives up on his neglected wife.

Wait...here he comes. He looks sharp in that suit. There's the rose--just one. Nice touch. Does he have what it takes to pull it off? Or, is this goodbye? After all the times I've done this, I'm never really sure how it's going to turn out.

She sees him. Worried eyes quickly scan the room for me. Her terror is painful to watch. Even from my hiding place by the bar I can see the tears glistening in her eyes. She's been caught. She thinks her marriage is over. We'll see. Maybe it is.

He bends to kiss her. She looks confused when he gives her the flower then sits and takes her hand across the table. He talks to her. Her hand flies to her mouth. I think he just apologized. Atta' boy! She reaches for both his hands, clinging to them for dear life. I can see the whites of her knuckles from here. She nods to his question. One word appears on her smiling lips--"Yes". There are tears on her face. And hope. And love.

The waiter appears. Their conversation is short, only a few seconds. The waiter stuffs his order book into his apron and leaves, shrugging. The two of them rise from the table and hold each other. Their kiss is long and loving. Arm-in-arm, they walk out the door and turn toward the elevators.

Ah, well... It looks like they get room service tonight and I get a date with Rosy and her sisters. Can't say I'm too disappointed. It's a win-win. She would have been a helluva great fuck, but this is the best.

I raise my glass to their long marriage. I'll wait a few weeks before I check in with Doug to see how things worked out. The next time I fall back into my shtick to ask him if he 'wuvs his wife', his answer will be much different. He will be grateful. He will gladly sign.

I'll bet he chooses the big whole life policy.

As usual, he'll get the discount if he agrees to give me a personal referral. Just like his friend Tony did.

My cock twitches. I've got a good feeling that his secretary's husband isn't so understanding.