Why Are The Jocks Are Getting Fat

15 January 2024 08:22

CNN NEWS

WORLDWIDE NEWS FLASH!!

The British medical and American medical and other counties medical journals and leaders have all announced in a joint release that the worldwide phenomenon known as "The Fatties Jock Syndrome," which has been accruing for the last 42 months, has been identified as a dormant chromosome gene cluster that has been activated by some unknown influence. The gene cluster activation has been found only in a very specific segment of the world's population. Estimates are that about 3% of the world's population is affected.

The affected people are in their late teens to early thirties. Both the numbers of males and females appear to be equal in populations. They are all physically in good to excellent shape and health. Most were either active in sports, military recruits, or in training for upcoming events before their gene activations.

Unlike the stories referring to the "Fatties Jocks and Jockettes," the populations affected are not adding fat. They are adding body mass and muscle to their bodies while losing body fat. Each person had an increased body mass of 6 to 9 percent on average. This equates to plus or minus 15 pounds for men and plus or minus 7 pounds for women.

As side notes, formerly physically fit and healthy people of the right demographics are losing their recently acquired body fat and are also increasing their body mass.

The attempts to gene splice these activated genes to patients needing interventions have proved fruitless.

Blood transfusions directly from one person to another have also been attempted numerous times and ways at different medical centers but proved to be a medically ineffective effort.

All attempts at activating gene clusters by scientists worldwide have shown that the activations will not stay changed over a few minutes, if at all, after being injected into patients.

Both patients requiring weight loss and patients requiring additional mass loss through illnesses and diseases have never shown any improvements but any adverse effects.

The intensive studies of why certain countries and regions of those countries are being highly targeted have proven inconclusive. There is a high possibility that diet may be a factor or trigger to whose dormant chromosome gene clusters are activated. There have also been unconfirmed cases of people living in other countries but eating their home country's diet being affected.

The counties of Argentina, California, China, Germany, India, Italy, Japan, Mexico, North Eastern USA, Spain, and Thailand have the highest percentages of populations affected.

All the other areas affected are spotty and limited to a few individuals in each region, usually less than forty in each area.

17 June, 2024 14:22

CNN NEWS

WORLDWIDE FLASH!!

Suddenly thousands of the "Fatties' Jocks and Jockettes" are disappearing in a progression from country to country worldwide just before the Summer Olympics. They have been seen disappearing from crowds in public places and found missing from their homes and work.

A marriage between an English male and a female football/Soccer stars was interrupted when the entire wedding party disappeared, except for two very pregnant members of the bride's family/team members and a male player who had broken his leg in a bicycle accident recently.

Police and military of many of the affected countries have been investigating to see if this is a plot to mitigate their chances of winning medals or lessen the control of the security of their nations.

There is no explanation from any country yet for why or how this is happening at this time.

In a cloaked orbit around the earth, the starship A&*s#14's commander is talking to his crew before the start of their shift. "I'm glad we got this important but cushy job."

The feast to commemorate the 12275th anniversary of the Galaxy Confederation founding is the biggest in memory, with thousands of attendees from all parts of the galaxy. The last major celebration had been 675 years ago in this planet's timeline.

Our job of picking up special supplies for the banquet is easy, except for the Keastains and their special diets and unique food requests.

From the notes from our last visit, the harvesting was covered up by a species-wide memory called the great black plague, but this time that won't work. But by the next time we come again to harvest, it will be an old urbane myth again.

Now, let us finish the last sixty percent of the harvest so that we can go home! This job is making me hungry!