Being a woman has many advantages and not least among them is that our organs of pleasure are better arranged than those of the male of the species. For one thing they are far more discrete, neatly tucked away between our legs rather than dangling around looking untidy. For another, our state of arousal does not dramatically affect the size of our genitalia. Sure, if you look closely, there are tell-tale signs that we are turned-on but nothing as obvious as the ridiculous erection you men seem prone to any time a nice-looking girl with a short skirt and a low-cut top catches your eye.
Given these advantages and the inexorable march of technology, it was surely only a question of time before someone invented a gizmo with which a girl can have a bit of high-tech but discrete fun. So, it should not have been a surprise that one turned up last year, courtesy of St. Valentine and his earthly agent, my boyfriend Steve.
He presented me with the small, beautifully wrapped box while were sitting on the sofa in my apartment, relaxing over a pre-dinner glass of wine. I could tell by the look on his face that this was not going to be the piece of jewellery or chocolates that would be his usual choice of gift. After kissing him briefly in gratitude I untied the narrow ribbon and removed the paper. Carefully arranged in the box were two shiny black plastic objects, one a small circular dish, like a miniature flying saucer, and the other shaped like a letter 'C' with a small egg-shaped ball at one end and a larger one at the other. I removed the C-shaped thing from the box and held it up, turning it around in my fingers. It was shiny, black and beautifully smooth with a silver band round its middle but I had absolutely no idea what it was.
"Ok, you'll have to help me out here Steve. What is it?" He laughed at my obvious puzzlement.
"It's a Lovio Senseo," was his reply. He might as well have been speaking Martian.
"Er... that doesn't exactly help," I said, "what is a Lovio whatever-you-call-it?"
"Senseo. S...E...N...S...E...O," he spelt it out for me. "It's the latest thing from Sweden. I saw it in a design magazine in the hotel in Stockholm and managed to get hold of one. They're in pretty short supply you know." He paused. "You still don't know what it's for?" I shook my head.
"Try this." He took the thing from me and fiddled briefly with something on its surface. "Hold out your hand," he said, and placed it back onto my upturned palm.
"Oh!" My exclamation was born mainly of surprise as the device lay gently pulsating against my palm, but it was also the result of shock at the realisation that my boyfriend had bought me a vibrator as a Valentine present.
Now I'm no stranger to sex toys, in fact discretely hidden beneath the underwear in my bedside drawer is a very simple but highly effective vibrator that sees regular use, especially as Steve travels a lot. Steve, I was sure, did not know of its existence. This thing though was intriguing. It did not take a genius to work out the basics of its operation, but I decided to string Steve along a bit. In any case I wasn't quite sure where he was coming from. After all, how many men are going to give their loved one a battery powered replacement for their own, nature-provided, moving part. I played the innocent.
"No, I still don't get it," I said, enjoying watching him squirm. I picked it up between thumb and forefinger and examined it more carefully. "Some sort of kitchen gadget?"
"Er, No. Some sort of bedroom gadget," he said with a slightly embarrassed smile.
I was not going to let him off the hook, so I said nothing and continued to examine the device in a suitably obtuse manner.
"It's a vibrator," he came clean, "you know a sex toy," his words came out in a rush. "It's the latest thing, from Sweden, you put one end inside you and the other end rests against your clit. That's why it's curved like that. Both ends vibrate; you get it going against your G-spot and your clit at the same time. Mega-orgasm every time; guaranteed."
He should have been a vacuum cleaner salesman. "Brilliant," I said, "I'll go upstairs and try it out while you cook the dinner. I'll try and keep the screams of passion to a minimum so you can concentrate. Did you get spare batteries, I'll probably need them?"
My sarcasm was apparently lost on the hapless idiot because he replied with a crestfallen expression, "Its re-chargeable..." His voice tailed off and he looked so pathetic that I decided to take pity on him.
"Steve, it's a lovely thought but why would I want a vibrator when I have you."
Did I feel a slight pang of guilt as I heard myself utter this outrageous lie? No, not really. Men's fragile egos must be protected and if that means the occasional economy with the truth then so be it.
My mendacity appeared to have the desired effect. "Ah," he said, some of his natural cheer returning to his voice, "Well that's rather the point. Pass me the box." I complied, giving him the open box, and he took out the other, dish shaped, object, which I confess I had rather overlooked in my desire to humiliate my partner.
He fiddled with it for a second or two. "Hold out your bit," he said, and I did as he asked, holding the vibrator in my hand. He shook the disk thing gently from side to side.
"Bloody hell Steve!" I am not one who is prone to swearing but I couldn't help myself. As he shook the little disc thing, the vibrator, which had been pulsing quietly away to itself, jerked in rhythm. When he stopped shaking, it stopped; when he shook it, it moved. "What the hell is that thing?"
"Remote control." He was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "I can change the intensity, and it even has an accelerometer. The possibilities are endless..."
"Jesus Steve, what are you thinking of? " I was by no means enthusiastic, but we duly read the instructions and later that evening, more to humour him than anything else, we gave the thing a run out. The instruction book was full of great ideas about how the Senseo would enhance our sexual experience if worn while making love but to be honest it was just a pain. After messing about with it for a while, we abandoned it and Steve got down to some serious Valentine's Day work with his tongue and cock, which was a lot more satisfying than the sex toy, despite its Swedish designed, re-chargeable, remote controlled, Bluetooth enabled wizardry.
***
After that night I didn't really think much about the Senso, at least not until a few weeks later, when Steve was away on a business trip somewhere.
Alone at home after a busy day I had been pampering myself and after soaking the cares of the day away in a lovely warm bath, I was massaging a richly scented body oil into my skin -- another present from Steve. Sitting naked on the bed in the warmth and privacy of my bedroom gently rubbing the warm oil into the soft skin of my feet, I began to feel the desire for a little bit deeper and more intimate pleasure.
"Why not," I thought to myself, it would relax me and help me sleep. I looked at my reflection in the long mirror which stood next to the door. I'll admit that I was pleased at what I saw. My skin had absorbed much of the oil and was taut and smooth, glowing with a healthy sheen in the subdued light. I turned to assess my silhouette. My breasts jutted forward, firm and well proportioned. I filled my palms with the warm oil and smoothed it into them, closing my eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sensuous self-massage. I took their weight in my cupped hands and gently pinched my nipples between thumb and forefinger feeling them swell and harden under my touch. My fingers still slick with oil, I turned to face the mirror and opened my legs. Running my forefinger down through the patch of downy hair covering my mound, I teased open my pussy lips. It was delicious, that first touch, as my fingertip found the tight little bud of my clit and coaxed it out from its covering fold of skin. I massaged myself gently, enjoying the bursts of sensation, growing in intensity as my fingers did their work. With my other hand I continued to work on my breasts, enjoying the heightened sensitivity of my skin as I became aroused. After a few minutes I reached over and opened the drawer in the bedside table where I kept my handy little dildo, sliding my fingers beneath the carefully folded underwear, trying to locate it. Instead of finding the familiar shape though, my fingers closed over the box containing the Senseo -- which I had popped into the same drawer.
"Well," I said to myself, "might as well give it a try."
I opened the box and took the toy out. It looked quite cute sitting there in my hand. I switched it on for a second to test it and it pulsated briefly against my palm. Satisfied that it was working, I took out the remote control and placed in within reach. Then, leaning back against the pillows, lifted my legs up onto the bed and spread them wide, watching myself in the mirror as I slowly pushed a finger deep into my pussy. I was very wet - the last few minutes of self-stimulation had taken care of that.
"No lube needed then," I whispered to myself and eased the smaller end of the Senseo into my pussy. Spreading my labia with the fingers of one hand, I pushed the Senso deeper inside so that the larger end pressed right up against my exposed clit. It felt cool and hard against my soft warmth. I relaxed against the pillows and picked up the remote.
"Here goes," I thought, and pressed the 'on' button.
The orgasm, when it came, was a good one. Not the most earth shattering climax I had ever experienced but deep and powerful enough. I had expected the Senseo to be 'hands free' but it wasn't, to get the sensations I wanted I had to press it against my clit and move it around a bit -- even though it was capable of quite vigorous vibration. What did impress me was how quiet it was, I found it rather spooky actually; I was used to my cries of passion being underpinned by the friendly buzz of my plain old vibe. Just hearing myself moaning with pleasure at increasing volume and frequency as the Senseo silently did its work was a rather different experience.
As I finally stretched myself out in bed, luxuriating in the feeling of the cool cotton sheets against my skin, still sensitized by my recent orgasm, I decided that the Senseo might have been a good investment after all.
***
The Senseo and I got to know each other a little better over the next few months. It replaced the old vibe in my affections and became my preferred boyfriend-substitute when the real thing was not available. This was still not something that I wanted to share with Steve and, as he didn't mention the Senseo again, I did not volunteer any further information on the subject. Things would probably have proceeded in this basis ad infinitum had it not been for the Great Bet.
To say that both Steve and I are opinionated would be something of an understatement. I operate on the principle that things are to be done in one of two ways, my way and the wrong way. There have been a few occasions on which Steve has unwisely disagreed with this stance and in such circumstances, it had become our custom to engage in a small wager on the outcome.
