Kristy always felt a little guilty about interviews like this. Sure, the participants should do their homework before agreeing to talk to a reporter from 'The Nightly Show', and yes, most of them probably didn't mind being poked fun at in exchange for a little national exposure. But they all seemed so sincere about whatever their crazy interest actually was, and she knew that some of them got quite upset when their serious and heartfelt interview got edited down into a compilation of all their thoughtless comments, ridiculous statements, and outright gaffes.
But on the other hand, Kristy thought as she smoothed back her sandy blonde hair and prepared to launch into her first question, anyone who hadn't heard of 'The Nightly Show' by now probably deserved a little friendly ribbing. "So, Miss Jorgenson," she asked, "you're considered to be one of the most prolific screenwriters in the pornographic film industry. How many screenplays have you written?"
"Please," the brunette sitting across from her replied, "call me Andrea. And I've written seventy-five screenplays, with a further twenty in production. Knock on wood," she added, with a bubbly giggle.
"And how important would you say your contributions are to the movie?" Kristy asked, making sure her expression was as earnest as possible. Half the humor value in these interviews came from keeping a straight face.
"Oh, absolutely vital," Andrea said. She leaned forward in her seat slightly, exposing a truly impressive amount of cleavage. Kristy had always considered herself pretty well-endowed, but Andrea's tits put hers to shame. The woman looked like she could be doing porn instead of writing it. "The screenplay is the most important element of any pornographic movie, Kristy. We don't go forward with a film until we're absolutely sure that we have a dynamite story that really speaks to the human condition. That's what separates us from the rest of Hollywood."
Keeping a straight face just became a whole hell of a lot harder. Kristy began to wonder if Andrea wasn't being deadpan too. "So you feel like your films really penetrate into the depths of our essential selves?" she asked, knowing the line would get a guffaw later.
"Oh, definitely," Andrea said. "The trick is to write what you know. Anyone can churn out a derivative, escapist blockbuster with no connection to real people and real life, but I think that a good screenwriter writes about the things we all see and hear and feel every day. I'm a big believer in naturalistic plotting and naturalistic dialogue, Kristy. To me, there's just no other way to write."
Kristy's eyes widened as Andrea spoke. And she'd thought the guy crusading for nudist lounges in airports was nuts... "So, um, let's talk about some of your films. 'Doctor Butt III', for example--"
The doorbell rang. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Andrea said. "That's not going to ruin the interview, is it?"
Kristy shook her head. "No, no, we'll just edit around it. This isn't going to go out live." The doorbell rang again as she finished the sentence. "Just try to handle whoever it is quickly, so that we can get back to the interview."
"Sure thing!" Andrea said. She raced to the door, opening it to find a dripping-wet man wearing nothing but a towel standing in the hall. "Oh, hi, Tank!" she said brightly. She looked over her shoulder to Kristy. "Tank's my next-door neighbor. What can I do for you?" she asked, turning her attention back to the well-sculpted male body in front of her.
"Oh, it's my shower again," Tank replied, stepping inside in a way that suggested he was familiar with Andrea's apartment. "All I get is cold water, and I need something hot." He flexed his pecs slightly as he spoke, making his muscles ripple with barely-suppressed power.
"Oh, I know just what you need," Andrea said, taking his hand and guiding him into the room. "Sorry, Kristy, didn't mean to neglect you. What were we talking about?"
Kristy exchanged a look with the cameraman, who shrugged at her in resignation. "Um, we were talking about naturalism. You were saying that you drew inspiration from real life?"
"Oh, right!" Andrea nodded. "Totally. It's really important to take your own experiences and weave them into the narrative. I think it's one of the most crucial elements of the screenwriter's craft. Without that element of intimate personal knowledge, the whole enterprise just feels hollow--oh!" Tank's towel slipped free, falling to the floor and revealing his naked body.
"Sorry, babe," he said with a smile. "I guess my fingers were trembling from the cold." His cock was already jutting out from his crotch, measuring a good ten inches and implying that one thing, at least, hadn't been affected too badly by temperature.
"Oh, no!" Andrea said, her face a mask of dismay. "Sorry, Kristy, but I really need to help Tank warm up here." She pulled Tank down onto the couch and began to slowly, sensuously run her hands over his body. "I mean, I can keep talking, but if you'd rather wait until I'm done..."
The cameraman had already moved to get a better angle of Andrea as she slipped her blouse off and began pressing her tits up against Tank's chest. "Um, no, it's fine," Kristy said awkwardly. "We can just edit, or blur, or whatever you feel comfortable with." This had to be a fucking prank, someone in the production office dicking with her. Fine. She could roll with it. Nobody was going to say she couldn't handle a little bit of raunchy humor.
"Oh, that's a relief. I don't get many opportunities to...mphblglblblbl..." Andrea deep-throated Tank's cock for a long moment, then slid back off to wrap her boobs around his dick. "To talk about my work." She looked up at Tank. "Is that better, with my warm breasts all snuggled up to that big, hard cock of yours?"
Tank leaned his head back, a dopey smile on his face. "Oh, yeah, babe," he said. "I'm feeling really hot, now." He stretched out on the couch to give Andrea better access to his body.
