The Grass Is Always Greener

The mansion that I live in; its not mine I am just looking after it, is situated in an area that reeks of money, power and esteem, they would probably shudder if they realized a wannabe cad like I was residing there. They are all pillars of the community, the drivers of the country towards a better destination, they all smile beautifully, they have airs and graces, they are very important and they know better than us commoners.

I had sort of got friendly, nay not friendly, I had made my existence known to my immediate neighbour; Gordon was his name, he had a heavily coiffured wife called Emily and they had 2 boys who were the next generation of top class citizens, Gordon had made his money through selling consumerable goods, yet this still made him a leading figure and role model.

Gordon had learned a bit about my past and he took great delight in rubbing my nose in it, recently we were talking and he did a tut-tut, then shook his head and said, "Come on Yves old fellow, when will you learn the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence." I had countered that argument once before by explaining that although beautiful, life would be so much better with a variety of colours.

"Look at me Yves, Emily and I have been together for 25 years we are comfortable with each other, we live a great life, we are not left wanting anything," he said as he applied another layer of polish to the Lexus, behind him I saw Emily in her bedroom applying another layer of make-up.

"How is Emily's back?" I asked and continued with, "It must still be sore, I see she is still in her own room!"

Gordon looked back at her room and replied, "It doesn't seem to be getting better, it has cost a small fortune and no-one seems to be able to pinpoint the problem. Bloody nuisance really always seems to get in the way of us being, hmm, intimate shall we say".

"Ooo Helloo Yves," it was Emily she was standing beside Gordon looking down her rather considerable nose at me, "I am just off to my Golf lesson now Gordon and then have an appointment for my hair to be done and then a spa, see you about 7.00 tonight." With that she gave him a peck on the cheek then she was gone in her Lexus, yes that's correct they have matching cars, how sweet!.

"I would have thought Golf lessons would be bad for the back Gordon?" I said as we watched Emily disappear down the road, Gordon just shrugged, his attention was diverted by the rather delightful Jenny from across the road coming down to check her mail, Jenny gave him the most suggestive looking smile, I was just about to comment when I heard my phone ringing and left Gordon to go and answer it.

Part of the contra deal that I have for living at the mansion is that I keep the lawns and gardens tidy, this suits me fine, being the poser that I am I like to get out and mow the lawns without a shirt on, hey if you have it flaunt it, that seems to be the general motto of the community anyway. It was a nice day so time to honour my commitments, I got the lawnmower out and I was primed and rearing to go and would you believe it the bloody thing wouldn't start, I am not in anyway mechanically inclined, I do pride myself on being a problem solver, this one was easy borrow Gordon's.

Last time I went to their house it was to deliver some errant mail on that occasion I remember that no one came to the door to answer the knocking, Gordon explained that they spend most of the time around the back, they have a great setup with swimming pool and an spa and he could normally be found there. Needless to say I made my way around the side of the house to find him.

Find him I did, just as he was entering and it wasn't the pool, she was facing away on all four but I knew it was the lovely Jenny, being the gentleman that I am I stayed and watched. The excitement levels became frenetic when we were all rudely interrupted by Emily, it transpired that she had forgotten her favourite driver for the lesson and had come home to get it. There didn't appear to be anything wrong with her back, she could swing that club like Tiger, unfortunately for Gordon his hand had taken on the appearance of a golf ball.

His hand was in a cast for about 4 weeks, Emily has gone and taken a considerable amount of the belongings including the lawnmower, Jenny had a dislike about the stigma of being a home breaker and vanished. You have to feel sorry for Gordon he had borrowed a handmower and was struggling away the other day when I pointed out it doesn't matter what side of the fence its on, it is still bloody hard to mow.