In a Hole in an Arse there lived a Fockit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet Hole, filled with the ends of turds and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy Hole with nothing about it worth eating or slobbering at: it was a Fockit Hole, and that means comfort.
This particular Fockit -- What is a Fockit? Fockits are a Tiny People, just small enough to be able to squeeze into and out of a Hole when they need to, and invisible, indeed one might say ethereal, so that you would hardly know they were there. You may have unawares noticed one every now and again when you have felt a little tickle, or a scratchiness when you don't expect it -- a sure sign of a Fockit on the way in or out of his dwelling-place. This particular Fockit's name was (of course) Dildo. He had lived in his Hole for time out of mind, or at least it seemed so to him, since Fockits have a different sense of time from you or me, and for them a day can seem like a year. Other Fockits considered him very respectable, because he never had any adventures or did anything unexpected. Happily, Dildo's host, the Big Person to whom the freehold of his Hole properly belonged, was a Respectable Young Lady, who never let anything unexpected happen in her Arse-Hole. Indeed, anything which came out always did so at regular intervals, and was wiped up promptly and efficiently. And of course, nothing ever went in where it shouldn't; that, as far as Dildo was concerned, was not what his Hole was for!
This, however, is a story of how Dildo had an adventure, and found himself doing and saying things altogether unexpected. For by some curious chance one evening, Dildo was sitting relaxing after dinner, halfway down the Tunnel into which his Hole widened, when he heard noises upstairs. Well, actually, that hardly does justice to it, for noises upstairs are par for the course in a Fockit Hole. Dildo was not entirely sure what went on upstairs, as he rarely ventured that far, but almost nightly did he hear sounds of dribbling and squelching and such things through the richly-scented plush maroon walls of his home. Sometimes the ceiling seemed to pulsate, as if all manner of momentous events was taking place upstairs. Occasionally he heard the Respectable Young Lady moaning and squealing with apparent pleasure, even calling out things like "Oh yeah, eat my pussy, baby, that's so fuckin' good!" or "Now ram that fuckin' dick in me, stud. Go on, fill me up with that big cock!"
It was when he heard the latter command that Dildo knew things were about to get a bit unstable, and he instinctively held onto some of his more precious belongings just in case. For it was then that the ceiling and walls would seem to compress and pulsate even more wildly than normal, and the Respectable Young Lady became noisier and noiser: "Fuck me, baby, fuck me! I'm gonna fuckin' come, gonna fuckin' come all over your big fuckin' dick. Go on, faster, I said faster, ya filthy fuckstud, make me fuckin' come, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh my fuckin' Gawd, yeah FUUUUUUUCK!!!"
Other people with less patience than Dildo might have grown annoyed by this sort of inconvenience, but Fockits are fundamentally a patient people, happy at home, content in their invisible domesticity, and well used to the occasional short-lived neighbourly disturbance (especially from upstairs). In short, they take the rough with the smooth -- and so did Dildo.
One evening, however, something highly unexpected happened: there was a knock at the Door. Now, I say "knock at the Door" because that is the closest thing to it that you or I might be familiar with, but of course it was not at all like that, as Dildo's Hole did not have a Front Door as such, and therefore one could not properly knock on it. Instead it had a sort of puckered Opening, usually kept tightly shut, and widening from the inside only when necessary in order to let things out. But this evening, something was, unaccountably, trying to come in: something large, firm but flexible was pushing at the Front Door from outside.
"Well, this is queer doings," muttered the Fockit to himself, as he cocked his ear attentively to try to work out what was happening. Upstairs the squelching and pulsating seemed to have paused, but Dildo could hear the voice of the Respectable Young Lady saying, "Oh no, babe, you know I'm not good at that... really, it's too tight... and you're too big for me there! Come on, fuck my pussy instead, babe, come in my cunt, you know you like that..."
Dildo was, of course, in full agreement with the Respectable Young Lady, and hoped that whoever it was would soon see reason and do exactly as he was asked. There was a pause, during which Dildo held his breath in anticipation, before he heard the Young Lady's voice again; "Oh all right, babe, but just one finger, hey? And use lots of lube, won't ya?"
Dildo was most perturbed and bewildered -- and even more so as he beheld his beloved Front Door, the happily puckered, safely shut exit Aperture from his Hole, being prised open from without, and a large, slime-coated Big Person's Finger inserted.
"OH FUCK!" screeched the Respectable Young Lady. "THAT FEELS SO FUCKIN' GOOD!"
"Oh no it doesn't," thought the Fockit to himself as, without so much as an if-you-please, the lubricated Finger began sliding in and out of his Hole, making Dildo retreat even deeper into the warm depths of his Tunnel. "This is not on, this is just not on!" he muttered.
But sadly, the Respectable Young Lady appeared to have no intention of seeking Dildo's opinion on the matter and, what is worse, had overcome some of her previous reservations. "Oh yeah, that's it, babe, that's better," she said, "Open it up, use your fingers to lube it up, then maybe I'll let ya fuck it!" Whoever it was was now inserting two huge Fingers into Dildo's beloved Hole, squelching impertinently around his entrance hallway with yet more slimy, gloopy lubricant -- then three Fingers, as the Young Lady squealed, "Oh fuck, baby, you gonna turn me into a fuckin' anal slut? You got my arse all gaping for ya now! You gonna slide your big dick in there, fuck my shithole raw with that monster cock?"
The Respectable Young Lady continued to jabber excitedly in like manner, and Dildo did not pretend to understand half of what she was saying -- but it did sound quite alarming and dangerous. He retreated further down his Tunnel, hoping against hope that the threatened "Monster Cock" would not be as terrifying as it sounded.
He was, of course, wrong.
I will spare you the gruesome details, Dear Reader, for I am sure you are a Person of delicacy and tact, and -- well, it was the worst night Dildo had ever had in his life, and by the time it was over, his dear beloved Hole was, as far as he was concerned, utterly ruined. The Front Door was no longer tightly puckered, but winked open and shut at random. The smooth, moist maroon walls were chafed and raw. And everything -- floors, ceilings, soft furnishings and furniture -- was covered with a thick but uneven coating of gloopy chlorine-scented slime, which the Respectable Young Lady was now scooping out of the ruined Front Door with her own Fingers, as she whimpered, "Oh yeah, babe, did ya like comin' in me fuckin' arse? Watch me eat yer fuckin' cum out of me arsehole, yeah, babe? Watch me slurp it off me fuckin' fingers, ya dirty boy! You like your new anal slut girlfriend, baby? Wanna fuck me filthy arse every fuckin' night?"
"Over my dead body!" screamed Dildo in response. But of course, Big People, whether Respectable or not, are not good at understanding Fockit, or even recognising it as a language, and all they heard was a brief egress of Wind -- to which the Respectable Young Lady responded, "Hear that, babe? Hear me fart your fuckin' cum out me fuckin' arse like an anal whore?" before bursting into a long filthy cackle.
Dildo spent most of the rest of the night cleaning out his Hole, scraping the slime off the walls and furnishings, gently massaging the Front Door back into shape, and making his home a place to be proud of again, before dragging himself to bed in the wee hours of the morning.
If he had been a more worldly-wise Fockit, he would have woken up knowing that he had to do something quite radical in response to this new turn of events. But Fockits are generally well-meaning domestic types who presume the best of people (even Big People) and who don't like to make a fuss -- especially if doing so might involve anything remotely resembling an adventure, which for a Fockit means anything beyond his Front Door. And so, for the next few nights, Dildo sat in his Hole hoping against hope that this time it would be different, that the Respectable Young Lady would revert to her former habits, and leave her Hole well alone. But he was sorely disappointed: the Young Lady was clearly enjoying her new discovery, and the Monster Cock was obedient to her command to "fuck me arse every fuckin' night..." -- for that is precisely what happened.
Poor Dildo! Early in the morning after his fifth sleepless night spent scrubbing gloop and slime off his floors and ceilings, he decided he had to act. And so, for the first time in a very long time indeed, he left his Hole for the Outside World.
Squeezing himself out of his Front Door was a lot easier than it had ever been before, as it had loosened considerably from the past five nights of external penetration. Outside, things seemed almost normal. All was quiet, and all was calm; the Respectable Young Lady was probably sleeping soundly after the night before, Dildo thought, and so he decided to do something he had never done in his life before: explore upstairs.
