Note: This story was inspired by Abstruse's delightful Ole Onebreast tale. Thanks Abstruse, for sharing your gifted writing ability with Literotica!
The darkness was just lifting as Tim Cooney woke from pleasurable dreams. He had just turned 18 yesterday, and as usual had a morning wood to die for. His fat prick stood out of his striped boxers like a spear, and in his groggy state looked enormous. Tim worked his balls out of the fly slit of his boxers as well and jacked off contentedly, thinking of his girlfriend Mary in nothing but a pair of turquoise crotchless panties. Christmas was only two weeks away, and Tim wondered if Mary would like the present he had chosen for her. They had only known each other for a few months and hadn't done anything sexual...yet!
As Tim's hands flew over his agonizingly hard cock, he heard a rustling noise in the distance. At first he thought it was a car, but that was rare at this time of day in the remote part of town he lived in. As the bizarre sound became louder, Tim figured it was some kind of motorcycle. He jumped out of bed with his cock still poking out of his boxers. As he pulled up the blinds, he could see something on wheels careening toward him. At first it looked like an extremely homely fat woman, but as the creature whizzed by him, Tim's mouth dropped.
It was an enormous tit riding on a unicycle! After he recovered from his shock, Tim realized the breast had several friends. More boobs on bikes drove past until Tim had counted at least twelve. They were headed toward Spring Glen, a neighborhood where Tim's best friend Mitchell lived.
Tim raced to the phone. He was so excited he could barely speak.
"Mitchell, Mitchell, you won't believe what I just saw!"
"A skunk?" Mitchell squawked in a groggy tone.
"No, not a skunk silly, a tit, a huge tit...on a unicycle!"
"A tit on a WHAT?" Mitchell was incredulous.
"A unicycle!" Tim was jumping up and down at this point.
"You're still dreaming, go back to bed!"
"No, really, and they're headed toward Spring Glen."
"WHAT! OH MY GOD!" Mitchell all of a sudden sounded panicky.
"Don't worry, I'm going to take the back roads and outrun them. See you in a few minutes!"
"Oh-Okay." Mitchell turned off his cell phone with shaky hands, not really sure what to expect.
Tim grabbed his car keys and flew out the front door, still in his underpants. He quickly started the car and raced along the back roads at 70 miles an hour. In a matter of minutes, he screeched into Mitchell's driveway. His friend had been waiting in the carport, and looked terrified.
"Are t-t-t-hey d-d-d-angerous?" Mitchell poked his head out in the half-light of dawn as Tim ran over to him.
"I don't know...I never saw a tit on a unicycle before!"
"You've never seen a tit before, period!"
"Shut up Mitchell, neither have you!'
"Yes I have, the other day Sally Kennedy bent over and..."
Mitchell's reverie was interrupted by a whirring sound in the distance.
"That's them...Here they come! Hit the deck!"
Tim jumped into the carport as the first Uni-Tit rounded the corner. The two high school seniors stood transfixed in their t-shirts and boxers as a dozen huge breasts barreled by, their nipples swaying in the breeze.
"Jesus!" Mitchell was awestruck. "What do they want?"
"Sex, of course." Tim just grinned.
"In your dreams, kiddo," Mitchell punched his friend on the arm playfully. "Hey, let's pick up Mary and follow them. Looks like their headed toward Grigsby's Farm!"
"But we're still in our underwear!" Tim didn't quite want Mary to see him in his boxers just yet. He had planned their first lovemaking session down to the last detail, and it would be like letting the cat out of the bag too soon!
"I'll get you some pants...we're the same size."
"Hurry, I don't want them to get too close to town, then we'll lose them!"
The two young men scrambled into some khakis and headed toward Grigsby's Farm, each wondering if the Uni-Tits became violent if provoked...
**********
Mrs. Charlotte Grigsby was an anachronism, a musty dusty museum piece. She had just turned 60, and weighed at least 400 pounds. Her breasts were like large melons, and sagged down dejectedly, as no bra on earth could hold them. Charlotte was outspoken and very coarse, and as a result the townspeople let her and her husband alone. Ben Grigsby was the typical Green Acres farmer stereotype, with bib overalls and a ribald sense of humor. He was as thin as Charlotte was large, and together they provoked mocking stares while the Laurel and Hardy of Mulberry township went about their daily chores.
As she heard the cuckoo clock in the kitchen chiming seven times, Mrs. Grigsby finished feeding the chickens and pigs, then started making Ben some french toast and sausages. She was just about to serve him a hearty breakfast plate when she thought she heard a tractor in the distance. Looking out the large picture window, she saw the first Uni-Tit rounding a corner. Charlotte screamed so loudly, Ben jumped out of his seat. Two sausage links flew through the air hitting Max, the family cat square in the face. He jumped a good four feet, knocking the cuckoo clock off the wall. The damaged clock started cuckooing madly, as Charlotte jumped up and down, her tits flying back and forth like dangerous weapons.
