This is my first attempt at humor. If I didn't succeed please forgive me.
This is a first encounter between Teddy and a dildo told from the POV of the dildo.
It is not intended to be erotic however if it is more power to me.
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My first memory is coming alive by having my batteries inserted. I was laying on a bench with a bunch of my new friends and waiting my turn to make sure that my switches and vibrating organs worked.
Luckily I passed my test and I was moved somewhere else where I laid for awhile and I got to talk with my new friends. Of course since we were new we had no experiences to discuss but there were a lot of rumors passed on by those who had been returned by customers for repair.
I learned what our mission in life was and I learned that some of us would have a great life and others would be treated in a horrible manner.
The worst of all possible fates was, I was told, to be purchased by a gay man. The second worse was a similar fate but was to be purchased by a girl whose guy had an ANAL fetish. Sometimes in these situations you could end up covered with horrible smelling stuff and even find yourself put away still covered with it.
I asked why girls would enjoy that and found that they didn't but some guys convinced themselves that the girls did like it.
I also learned that some of us come "BATTERIES INCLUDED" and some "Requires 2 AA batteries (not included)". Apparently I was in the former category as I was an expensive model. I also learned that while I had three vibrators, one in my head, one in my mid-section and one in my base that not all us dillies were so equipped.
I was soon packaged in hard plastic and resting on a cardboard bed. I could see by looking at others that the cardboard had printing but was unable to see it well enough to read it entirely.
Then I was in a confined dark place with about eleven others and we were bounced around and left in cold places for a long time until the dark place was flooded with light and I was unceremoniously pulled out of that place and hung on a long hook on a wall.
I was back against the wall and there were several others in front of me and I could only see to the sides. Once in awhile I could catch a glimpse of someone looking around at other items on the wall and making remarks like.
"I can't believe that they are so expensive." or
"That one is pretty." or
"Oh, that one really looks great." or
"Can you imagine trying to get that inside of you?"
Once in awhile one of the guys in front of me would be sold and I would move up in the line until finally I was at the front. Then I could see the people as they walked around and looked and sometimes took something off the wall.
I couldn't see myself but as time went on I found out some things about myself. First was that my price was $79.95. Then that I was 7 1/2 inches long and 1 1/8 inch in diameter. What ever that meant.