Hello everyone. I know that many of you don't know me, which is why, right from the outset, I'd like to make it perfectly clear that I'm not gay. I'd hate for there to be any confusion. I've never touched a penis—other than my own of course—and I've never been even the slightest bit tempted. You'll never catch my head turning to admire a man's tight, muscular ass as he walks down the street, nor will you find me stealing surreptitious glances at their bulges. Even the really big ones. Some people might find that kind of thing interesting but I'm not one of them.
In public restrooms, I keep my eye level horizontal at all times. I don't even look down at my own penis when I'm at a urinal just in case I catch a glimpse of a stranger's penis in my peripheral vision. This is rarely an issue however, because if a man pulls out his penis within six feet of me I leave the room immediately, even if I'm mid-stream. Urinating on my clothes is a small price to pay to avoid being alone in a room with a man with his penis out.
Let me add that after masturbating to lesbian porn, (I don't watch heterosexual porn because it has dicks in it which is gay), it has never crossed my mind to lick my finger to see what cum tastes like. I usually ejaculate into a sock or a tissue which obviates the issue, but in those "in case of emergency" situations, I have never lain on my back, fired it up into the air, and allowed it rain down upon me like God's sweet mercy. If I do accidentally get semen on my hand I wash it away immediately, first with water and then with soap, before allowing the tainted appendage to come into contact with my face or any foodstuffs. Similarly, if during the course of heterosexual intercourse with a girl, some of my semen gets on her or it gets in her mouth, I insist that she cleans herself and brushes her teeth thoroughly before intimate touching resumes.
Speaking of the exclusively heterosexual sex that I have, I'd like to note that even if I'm doing it from behind, and I'm gazing at the buttocks of the female human that I'm having non-gay sex with, I'd never put my dick in her ass and ask her to speak in a deep voice so I could pretend that she was a petite, hairless man. Such a thing wouldn't even cross my mind. For me, it's penis-in-vagina all the way. And sometimes penis in mouth. I'm aware that homosexuals do that too, but that's just heterosexual appropriation, am I right?
As far as my own ass goes, I hope it goes without saying that nothing has even been put inside it. No thermometers, no suppositories. I have absolutely no intention of ever getting my prostate checked. If it were possible, I wouldn't even have my poo inside my ass, but that can't be helped. One thing that has always made me uncomfortable is the way that poo is clearly phallic in nature, (I eat bananas with a knife and fork for similar reasons), and when it's coming out, it's difficult to deny that you have a solid, somewhat phallic object in your butt, which is extremely gay. It's going out rather than going in, which is an important distinction, but it's obviously still an issue.