Virgin Nun, Sister Constipated of the Order of Sexually Repressed Self-Flagellation, accidentally winds up as the emergency directing editor of the Literotica Site.
Sister Constipated is the youngest sister of the Literotica Senior Editor. She became curious about her older brother's (no, not Brother!) mysterious job as none of their family would discuss his career in her presence.
The young sister Sister arrived late for lunch at the Literotica skyscraper. In order to surprise her older brother Senior as she was determined to find out what all the damn mystery is about his profession.
Only to find him having his stomach pumped. As her brother was about to be gurneyed away by the paramedics. In his delirium, he begged his sister, Sister Constipation, to take over as Emergency Senior Editor. Making her swear on her Blessed Nunchakus to run the site until he gets out of the hospital.
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,The Emergency Ephemeral - Environmental Epidemic - Excipientory Exactoration teams were surprised to discover one person uneffected by this incidenttal mass food poisoning.
It is student intern Prudezilla Puritan, The only experienced staff member not showing any gastrnomic problems. Which was very strange considering how Prudezilla had gorged herself on the delicious repast.
It turns out that Prudezilla is interning for the summer, at the instigation of her Cousin [redacted]. a long-time admin at Literotica.
Who had maliciously arranged the job for her hated cousin. In spiteful retaliation for Prudezilla's chronically pain-in-the-ass sanctimoniously superior, holier-than-thou attitude towards [redated's] side of their large family.
Miss Puritan has just completed her Junior year at the Flamboyantly Gospel Hands on Healing School for Institutionalized Asexual Reproduction at the Lower Alabama Osteopathetic Collage of the Nazirene.
Three years of Student Cafeteria meals has left Prudezolla immune to all known (and a number of still unrecognized) food-borne pathogens.
Once the EE-EE-EE teams were informed of Prudezilla's regular diet, they understood immediately, her immunity to this misadventure of malevolent comestibles.
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As there was no other experienced staff persons remaining unstrucked, Sister Constipated appoints Miss Puritan as the Emergency Vice-Editor.
Sister Constipated and Miss Puritan hold their first editorial meeting to decide what jobs to assign.
The two women quickly realize that contractual obligations to the advertisers had to be met, without fail! And that they had to contend with a constant flood of incoming pretentiously obscene, grotesque parodies of poorly rewritten plagiarized erotic literature to be posted online, also without fail!
The only people left unafflicted in the building, were a handful of newly arrived and untrained, unpaid college interns and a visiting group of adult remedial students from a local Middle School.
Sister Constipated started to quote "Use it up. Wear it out..."
Prudezilla jumped in to finish "Make it do or do without!" And then they 'High Fived', humped boobs, bumped butts and did a brief hokeypokey,
They were a promising team of 'Can Do!' spirit.
Sister Constipated heroically volunteers for the martyrdom of editing Erotic Art and Toys & Masturbation.
With shaking hands, a little bit of drool from the corner of her mouth and a whiff of arousal wafting from her seeping granny drawers. Prudezilla, as a native Alabaman, living up to the proud traditions of post-antebellum gentility, insists that she will edit Incest/Taboo and Mind Control.
The two women, handicapped with being female if questionably feminine and lacking the overly-sensitive argumentative testosteronic hormonal histrionics of sports-trained, fraternally-professional executives.
They just take the print-out of genres, fold the page over, tear it in half and each woman takes a section. Then they get to work.
Completely failing to realize that they are therabye setting a very bad example for any future corporate executives among the interns.
Correct corporate procedure would be to spend at least several weeks with a dozen multi-level discussions in addition to the aggravation of required trips to long-distant meetings at luxury resort golf-courses.
Ahh, the stimulation of being outdoors, watching little, fat white men chasing little, round white balls.
Meanwhile, those executives, exhausted from a day of riding around in electric carts swilling beer by the case. Then have to endure evenings filled with the tedium of being wined and dined, attended by paid escorts at exclusive Men's Clubs.
Interspersed with having to tolerate the attentions of naked under-aged lap dancers at strip dives.
Finally deciding they don't get paid enough to actually stick their precious necks out to make am actual decision. The corporation ends up paying fat consultant fees to little, fat old fraternity white bros,
To inform the interminable executives that the piece of paper listing genres should be folded over twice in reversed diagonals, torn twixt and thereupon thrown away.
While simultaneously laying off a million of the lowest-paid , hardest-working employees, without benefits. After looting their pension funds. (How do you know they are the hardest-working? None of them are related to any of the executives. Duh!)
The next morning the global Stock Markets celebrate with wild ringing of the bell and rapturous cheers and enmassed cries of "Banzai!" from the floor brokers.
Instead these heartless bitches just roll up their sleeves and get the work needed, the work done.
How Un-American!
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Sister Constipated meets with the unpaid (fortunately unfed) college interns to distribute job assignments.
"Who has actually experienced receiving Nonconsensual Anal sex?"
"Okay, then you two will be doing Romance and Erotic Couplings and Fantasy."
"Who has experience in a D/s relationship or BDSM activities?"
"Right than, Master Grim you will be doing Humor and Satire and Erotic Pooetry with Audio."
"slave worm you are commanded to edit the article on "Self-Empowerment via the Corprolite Fetish imbedded within the Theological Apologia Communal of the Collective Turgid Drunken Ramblings of Ayn Rand", in Essays and Reviews."
