Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs

Author's note. Firstly, please read chapter 1. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you are going to have sex while skydiving then you make sure you uncouple before someone pulls their 'chute.

Please enjoy -- BB1212

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Snot Brite was not the smartest girl in the Kingdom. Truth be know she was quite possibly the dumbest. But she was very eager to please and very attractive, and that was quite a good combination. The woodsman took her to a path through the forest and led the way for a while.

"How far to the lost tribe?" Snot Brite asked eagerly.

"I don't know." The woodsman said. "They're lost."

"Oh." Snot Brite looked puzzled.

"Why don't you walk in front?" The woodsman suggested. "Then you can find them first." Snot Brite clapped her hands.

"Oh, goody." She said happily and skipped past the woodsman. She walked ahead eagerly for a while before the woodsman spoke again.

"I think your beautiful dress might be ruined in the forest." He said casually, eyeing Snot Brite's shapely body.

"Oh, really?" Snot Brite sounded concerned. "What should I do?"

"Maybe you could take it off?" The woodsman said slyly. Snot Brite thought for a moment and turned her back to him.

"Can you unlace me?" She asked. The woodsman put down his axe and clumsily unlaced the dress. If he had to cut her tits off then it would be better if she were wearing less, and in the mean time he could get a good look at the half dressed Princess. Snot Brite wriggled out of the dress and turned around. "Is that better?" She asked happily, her tits almost spilling out of her underdress as she turned.

"Hmm." The woodsman wondered if he should push his luck, it wasn't like she was going to be around to tell was it? "That's a bit flimsy too," he said, "maybe take it all off?" Snot Brite frowned.

"I don't think I'm supposed to do that." She said warily.

"Oh, really, why not?" The woodsman asked. Snot Brite considered.

"Daddy said I might be attacked if I took my clothes off in front of people." She said triumphantly, happy that she had remembered.

"Ah, yes." The woodsman said. "But who would dare to attack you while I am here with my axe?" Snot Brite thought again.

"No one?" She asked doubtfully, guessing the answer. The woodsman smiled.

"That's right." He said. "So it's OK."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh, OK then." Snot Brite said and she removed her underdress and the remainder of her clothes. Finally she stood naked in front of the woodsman. His own wood was that hard, that he thought he would just blunt his axe if he tried to cut it off. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and those tits were more than good, they were spectacular.

"Maybe I should take my clothes off too." The woodsman suggested. "That way you wouldn't feel like the odd one out." Snot Brite smiled happily.

"That's a very good idea." She said, and he undressed quickly. When he was standing in front of her she looked at him in horror.

"What have you got sticking out of your pussy?" She asked, "And what happened to your boobies?" He smiled, with sudden anticipation. He could fuck her first and then kill her, who would know?

"I am a man and you are a woman," he explained, "we are supposed to be different. Haven't you ever seen a man naked before?" Snot Brite thought again.

"Uh, no?" She said carefully.

"Would you like to touch me?" The woodsman asked.

"Why would I want to do that?" Snot Brite asked cautiously. The woodsman walked up to her.

"Because it feels good when men and women touch each other." He said.

"Really?" Snot Brite was confused. She had never done anything like this before.

"Yes." The woodsman said and he bent down and took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked gently.

"Oooh." Snot Brite moaned, it really did feel good. The woodsman took her hand and put it on his cock. She squeezed and giggled. "It's warm and squishy." She said, and then she pulled away suddenly. "This isn't fucking is it?" She asked, sounding very concerned. "Daddy said I shouldn't start fucking until I am married to a Prince."

"Oh no," The woodsman said, thinking quickly, "fucking is where people put their tongues in each other's noses." Snot Brite made a face.

"Oooh yukky. I always wondered what fucking was," she said, "but my nanny wouldn't tell me."

The woodsman lay down on the ground.

"Lie on me with your head near it." He said, and Snot Brite did. He pulled her pussy to his tongue and licked her slit.

"Oh, my." Snot Brite was suddenly feeling sensations she had never felt before as the woodsman started licking her thoroughly.

"Suck my cock." He said indistinctly. Snot Brite was dumb, but she did manage to work out what his cock was. She took it into her mouth and sucked firmly, making the woodsman moan. This was fun, she decided, the thing in her mouth was warm and alive, and if this made him feel as good as he was making her feel, then it must be good. "Move your head up and down on it." The woodsman said, and Snot Brite complied, sucking and slurping her way up and down his cock as his tongue found her most sensitive spot and went to work. They both moaned in pleasure, but minutes later the woodsman felt his orgasm approaching. "Drink my cum." He moaned and Snot Brite was confused until the cock suddenly squirted into her mouth. She swallowed the salty liquid and then the cock started to get smaller, so she sucked harder. Snot Brite could feel something building up in her pussy, it had started as a tingle, and then got bigger and bigger until her whole pussy was throbbing with pleasure. She could feel that the woodsman had pushed his finger inside her pussy and it felt good. The sensations got stronger and stronger, until she had a sudden eruption of pleasure and her pussy clenched around the woodsman's finger repeatedly. Snot Brite was left gasping for breath and smiling wide.

"That was amazing, what was it?" She asked, taking her mouth off the now hard again cock.

"That was an orgasm. Haven't you ever had one before?" The Woodsman asked.

"No... um... can I have another one?" The woodsman smiled.

"Of course." He said. "You are the Princess and your command is my wish."

"Oh, goody." Snot Brite said happily.

"We'll do it differently this time." The woodsman said. "First you should stand up." Snot Brite climbed off him and stood there uncertainly. The woodsman stood up too and clutched her to him for a moment. He went to kiss her but she turned her head away.

"Don't you put your tongue near my nose." She said. "I'm not allowed to do fucking."

"It's only fucking when both people do it," the woodsman said, "and I want to put my tongue in your mouth, that is called kissing."

"I've kissed my Daddy goodnight before." Snot Brite said with a grin.

"Yes, but to get orgasms you have to open your mouth and put your tongue in my mouth." Snot Brite looked at him suspiciously.

"Are you sure this isn't fucking?" She asked.

"I promise it's not." The woodsman said. "Woodsman's honour." She smiled.

"OK." And they kissed. Snot Brite wasn't very smart, and she wasn't at all experienced, but she was a very quick learner, and despite having just cum in her mouth the woodsman's dick now strained for another release. She was totally hot. He pulled away, and she sighed at the loss.

"Now you lie down on your back." The woodsman said. Snot Brite smiled and did what he said, this was fun. "Now spread your legs." He said and she moved her feet apart. "No, lift them and hold your knees up near your tits. Snot Brite giggled and went red.

"I call them boobies." She said quietly.

"I call them fantastic." The woodsman said. She smiled. He seemed to really like her and he hadn't called her dumb even once. She wondered why everyone called her dumb, she could talk just fine. The woodsman knelt down and positioned himself in front of her pussy.

"What are you going to do?" Snot Brite asked, a little nervously. That was a big thing he had pointed at her.

"I'm going to put my cock in your pussy." The woodsman said. "That's called screwing."

"Will I get dizzy if you screw me?" Snot Brite asked, giggling. She had made a joke and was very proud of it. He smiled.

"You never know your luck." He said. He started rubbing his cock up and down her wet lips, and Snot Brite decided this felt good. Then the woodsman lined up the head of his cock and pushed it slightly in. Snot Brite gasped.

"Ow." She said. "I think it's too big."

"Just relax." The woodsman said. "This hurts a little at first but it gives you an even better orgasm."

"Really?" Snot Brite felt her pussy stretching wide as the woodsman's cock slowly pushed into her.

"Really." He said as the head suddenly popped inside her. He stayed still for a moment, enjoying the sensation of the hot and very tight pussy. Snot Brite felt the pain being replaced slowly by a nice sensation. The woodsman slowly started pushing in and pulling out.

"Is that screwing?" Snot Brite asked, with a hesitant smile.

"It is." The woodsman said, and he slowly increased the depth as her lubrication allowed it.

"That's nice." Snot Brite said, as she got used to the feeling. After a while he hit something inside her. "Ow." She said again. "I think you reached the end." The woodsman smiled.

"This will hurt a bit." He said, and pulled almost all the way out.

"I don't want to hurt." Snot Brite said, now a bit scared, but the woodsman pushed quickly deep into her and his cock tore through her hymen. Snot Brite screamed with the sudden pain. He smiled at her as she lay before him, a tear tricking down her face.

"That's the only bad bit." He said kindly. "It won't happen ever again." She looked up at him fearfully.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yes really." He said. "Now you can have men fu..., um fully in you and screwing you whenever you want."

"I don't know if I want." She sniffed.

"You want." The woodsman pulled back and then started thrusting slowly into her again. Slowly the agony inside her subsided and the pleasure grew. About ten minutes later Snot Brite was smiling again.

"This really is good." She said in a surprised voice. The woodsman was watching her tits and didn't hear her. Snot Brite's tits were amazing; they were turning as he plunged his cock up into her, spinning in perfectly synchronised opposite direction circles. They were hypnotic, and the motion was making him lose track of reality.

"Boobies." The woodsman murmured, as they spun faster and faster and the slap of his balls on her ass became more and more frequent. "Must obey boobies." Snot Brite felt another orgasm building, and he was right, this felt better than the last one already. The cock slammed into her faster as the woodsman muttered something under his breath.

"OH YEAH, SCREW ME FASTER." Snot Brite commanded and the sweating man complied. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer at this pace, but her amazing and hypnotic tits somehow told him that it would be OK; she was about to cum too. And cum she did, howling out loud in ecstasy and then she feelt his cock squirt inside her, and that just made her feel even better. The woodsman pumped what felt like gallons of cum inside Snot Brite's newly opened pussy and then he collapsed onto her. Gasping they both came down slowly, his cock shrinking inside her and eventually it popped out. Finally the woodsman rolled off her and looked at the beautiful girl, with his cum dribbling out of her. Still in a daze her watched her tits and realised they were watching him. They wouldn't let him kill her and cut them off. It couldn't happen. Slowly he picked up his clothes and his axe, and then looked at Snot Brite.

"The Queen wants to kill you." He said. "You have to hide somewhere in the forest where she can't find you." Snot Brite looked at him with a frown.

"Really?" She asked.

"Really." He said and he walked back down the path carrying his clothes. Snot Brite stayed where she was until her breathing returned to normal. She picked up her clothes and considered her situation. Should she get dressed again? She decided no, and walked off in the opposite direction. At least like this her nipples could point the way she thought smiling, and they did, it was forwards.

Elsie was getting carried away. Literally. She could do nothing as the four guards trotted through the corridors of the castle. A guard was holding each of her legs, each with his other hand under her ass and one was holding each of her arms with his other hand under her back. They carried her at shoulder height, and sometimes one of them would casually squeeze a breast or run his hand up the inside of her leg under her dress, which had fallen away from her body, exposing almost all of her legs. Once again Elsie noticed how the servants in the corridors averted their gazes, as if they wanted to be able to say later that they hadn't seen anything unusual.

"You don't have to do this." Elsie said at one stage, and a hand slipped right between her legs, and a lone finger pushed at her asshole, making her gasp in fear.

"Any complaints and it's up the ass." One of the guards said with a strong hint of anticipation.

"Twice as tight and five degrees warmer." Another said. The guards bellowed with laughter as they carried her, but Elsie was relieved to feel the finger stop pushing at her. The dryness of the finger and of her ass, coupled with her tense clenching had prevented actual penetration, but she acknowledged to herself that it was really just because he hadn't tried all that hard. No matter what happens to me tonight, Elsie decided, I won't complain, these guards would rip her virgin ass apart. She was already worried about her pussy, which had only ever had the King's cock and the magic dildo up it. Elsie expected to be very sore in the morning.

As he walked the woodsman slowly recovered from the mind numbing effect of Snot Brite's amazing hypnotic boobies. He stopped and got dressed, suddenly worried that the Queen wanted tits, and he hadn't brought any. The woodsman looked around nervously, wondering how to escape the Queen's wrath.

"Hello." A voice interrupted his thoughts, the woodsman turned to see a pig on the path behind him. He looked past to see where the person talking was.

"Uh hello?" He said, not finding anyone.

"Down here," the voice said, "I'm the pig." The woodsman looked at the pig suspiciously.

"Pigs can't talk." He said.

"Only magic talking pigs." The pig said, well the voice was coming from the pig.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Can you say anything at all?" The woodsman asked, an idea forming.

"Yes." The pig said. "Take me with you, we could make a fortune."

"Say 'I'm Snot Brite, the Princess' for me." The woodsman said.

"Why?"

"Can't do it?"

"Of course I can." The pig sounded offended.

"Then prove it, I bet you can't."

"I'm Snot Brite, the Princess." The pig said. Then there was glint of light off the head of the axe as it swung.

The Queen's guards finally carried Elsie through a door and into a very large chamber. Most of it was well lit with flaming torches along the walls and chandeliers full of candles, but one corner was quite dark, and appeared to have a lot of empty benches in it, each one slightly higher than the one in front of it. In the middle of the room there was a low platform, with a wooden clamping system that Elsie recognised as stocks on it. Near the wall in front of it there was a tall desk and some chairs. In a corner there was another group of chairs. The Guards put Elsie down and she looked around nervously. At least the room didn't have a bed in it, they may actually be showing her some mercy here. One of the guards went through a door near the desk.

"What...?" Elsie started to ask, but a guard just put his finger on her lips.

"The Queen likes to be entertained, and her guests get the same level of service." He said. "Now shhh." Moments later a door Elsie hadn't noticed in the dark corner opened and people started filing in and going to the benches, very soon they were full and there was a low murmur of whispers from the corner. Elsie wanted to ask what was happening, but she had the very disturbing thought that she was going to find out shortly anyway. She mustn't complain she reminded herself. Once the benches were full, and the people had settled down a bit the door in front of her opened and the guard came back out and returned to his position next to Elsie. A few other people carrying musical instruments also came in and they sat down on the seats in the corner of the room. Shortly after that the door opened, and as it did a few of the people on the benches started clapping. The musicians started playing as a man walked in and took a deep breath.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," He announced. "Welcome to another edition of 'Pick a Cock, performed right here before our live studio audience." The audience clapped and cheered. "And now please welcome your host Mister Ivor Biggie." The applause reached a peak as the door opened again and a man came in, smiling and waving. He was dressed in very bright clothes and he had the whitest teeth that Elsie had ever seen.

"Thank you Reggie." He said, as the first man joined the musicians in the corner. "Yes, I'm Ivor Biggie, and welcome to a very special edition of 'Pick a Cock'. Tonight we have a new first time contestant, please welcome the lovely... um..."

"Elsie." Elsie said quietly.

"Yes, it's Elsie." Ivor shouted, and the audience cheered enthusiastically. "Now Elsie," Ivor continued when the applause died down a bit, "how old are you?"

"I'm twenty nine Ivor." Elsie replied, trying to be polite.

"And what do you do?" Ivor asked. Elsie blushed.

"I'm a tongue maiden." She said quietly.

"You need to speak up a bit Elsie, so everyone can hear."

"I'm a tongue maiden." Elsie said again, this time louder, and the audience cheered enthusiastically again.

"What a perfect time for us to bring in the two lovely 'Pick a Cock' tongue maidens." Ivor said and there was renewed cheering. "Please welcome Beauty and Bitch." As the audience went wild the door opened again and two very pretty women walked in. One was dressed an a very short and very low cut tight white tunic that left very little to the imagination. She had long blonde hair and a very pretty smile, but the audience seemed to be concentrating mostly on the very large tits that seemed to walk in before her. The other woman wore a tight black leather bodice that strained against its laces at the front. She had long black hair and was also very pretty, but in a more severe sort of way. She carried a short whip, and Elsie gulped nervously. This was just too weird and she wondered if it might not have been better for her if the four guards had just taken her to a bed chamber and fucked her as instructed.

"Hello Beauty." Ivor said to the blonde and she smiled.

"Why hello Ivor," she said in a melodic voice, "you are looking handsome tonight." Ivor preened and smiled.

"Thankyou Beauty, you're looking pretty damn good yourself. What do think audience?" And there was more cheering and whistles. Beauty blew the audience a kiss, bending down low enough for them to get a good view of her substantial cleavage.