Author's note. Firstly, please read chapter 1. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.
The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you are going to have sex while skydiving then you make sure you uncouple before someone pulls their 'chute.
Please enjoy -- BB1212
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Snot Brite was not the smartest girl in the Kingdom. Truth be know she was quite possibly the dumbest. But she was very eager to please and very attractive, and that was quite a good combination. The woodsman took her to a path through the forest and led the way for a while.
"How far to the lost tribe?" Snot Brite asked eagerly.
"I don't know." The woodsman said. "They're lost."
"Oh." Snot Brite looked puzzled.
"Why don't you walk in front?" The woodsman suggested. "Then you can find them first." Snot Brite clapped her hands.
"Oh, goody." She said happily and skipped past the woodsman. She walked ahead eagerly for a while before the woodsman spoke again.
"I think your beautiful dress might be ruined in the forest." He said casually, eyeing Snot Brite's shapely body.
"Oh, really?" Snot Brite sounded concerned. "What should I do?"
"Maybe you could take it off?" The woodsman said slyly. Snot Brite thought for a moment and turned her back to him.
"Can you unlace me?" She asked. The woodsman put down his axe and clumsily unlaced the dress. If he had to cut her tits off then it would be better if she were wearing less, and in the mean time he could get a good look at the half dressed Princess. Snot Brite wriggled out of the dress and turned around. "Is that better?" She asked happily, her tits almost spilling out of her underdress as she turned.
"Hmm." The woodsman wondered if he should push his luck, it wasn't like she was going to be around to tell was it? "That's a bit flimsy too," he said, "maybe take it all off?" Snot Brite frowned.
"I don't think I'm supposed to do that." She said warily.
"Oh, really, why not?" The woodsman asked. Snot Brite considered.
"Daddy said I might be attacked if I took my clothes off in front of people." She said triumphantly, happy that she had remembered.
"Ah, yes." The woodsman said. "But who would dare to attack you while I am here with my axe?" Snot Brite thought again.
"No one?" She asked doubtfully, guessing the answer. The woodsman smiled.
"That's right." He said. "So it's OK."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Oh, OK then." Snot Brite said and she removed her underdress and the remainder of her clothes. Finally she stood naked in front of the woodsman. His own wood was that hard, that he thought he would just blunt his axe if he tried to cut it off. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and those tits were more than good, they were spectacular.
"Maybe I should take my clothes off too." The woodsman suggested. "That way you wouldn't feel like the odd one out." Snot Brite smiled happily.
"That's a very good idea." She said, and he undressed quickly. When he was standing in front of her she looked at him in horror.
"What have you got sticking out of your pussy?" She asked, "And what happened to your boobies?" He smiled, with sudden anticipation. He could fuck her first and then kill her, who would know?
"I am a man and you are a woman," he explained, "we are supposed to be different. Haven't you ever seen a man naked before?" Snot Brite thought again.
"Uh, no?" She said carefully.
"Would you like to touch me?" The woodsman asked.
"Why would I want to do that?" Snot Brite asked cautiously. The woodsman walked up to her.
"Because it feels good when men and women touch each other." He said.
"Really?" Snot Brite was confused. She had never done anything like this before.
"Yes." The woodsman said and he bent down and took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked gently.
"Oooh." Snot Brite moaned, it really did feel good. The woodsman took her hand and put it on his cock. She squeezed and giggled. "It's warm and squishy." She said, and then she pulled away suddenly. "This isn't fucking is it?" She asked, sounding very concerned. "Daddy said I shouldn't start fucking until I am married to a Prince."
"Oh no," The woodsman said, thinking quickly, "fucking is where people put their tongues in each other's noses." Snot Brite made a face.
"Oooh yukky. I always wondered what fucking was," she said, "but my nanny wouldn't tell me."
The woodsman lay down on the ground.
"Lie on me with your head near it." He said, and Snot Brite did. He pulled her pussy to his tongue and licked her slit.