Riley was mixing together a potion of boils and pustules, ready to pour it into the storm drain Anyone catching a fish along a fifty mile stretch of river would catch acne like a high school quarterback.
"After all those good deeds," she said, throwing in some scabies for good measure, "It'll be good to do some evil for a change."
Every witch, Riley included, needs to perform at least one good deed per hundred years. The easiest way to do this was to grant wishes, without irony. Even genies weren't required to do that. All Riley had to do to keep her magic powers was to grant one unselfish, no-strings-attached wish, and even though she got down to the wire, she managed to find someone and grant him his heart's desire.
That person was Patient, who we will meet later in the story. Four months ago, just as her magic license was about to expire, Riley cornered him as he was driving home from work and told him to make a wish or die. He wished for a giant penis. Riley granted his wish and sent him away. Her good deed done, Riley could get back to inflicting evil on the world.
However, just as she thought that the hard work was over, she realized that her trouble was just beginning.
The next day, Jordan's girlfriend, April, tracked Riley down and demanded a wish for herself: massive hips and huge breasts. If Riley didn't cooperate, April would burn down Riley's house and blow her up. Riley thought she was bluffing, but when she saw the fuse on that dynamite growing shorter and shorter, Riley granted the wish and left. She was more concerned living that maintaining her pride, but now that that girl had forced her to do another good deed, Riley had to do double the work. She had to make up for two good deeds instead of one!
Riley decides that after the plague of fish pustules, she would brew an acid rain potion, and then she would start a tire fire, and after that she would make magical clones and order them to get driver's licenses, swelling the lines at the local DMV, and none of them would have the proper documentation. Riley lost no time, pulling ingredients off the shelves and brewing as fast as she could.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
Riley froze. She thought for a moment that something had broken loose from the cave ceiling and hit her door. She turned back to her cauldron, but she heard the knocking again. No one had ever knocked on her door before. Riley wasn't sure what to say.
"Hey, witch!" said a familiar voice. "Open up, it's April."
"Oh God, no..." Riley picked up her broom and tried to fly off, but the door burst open. In stepped a young woman with blue hair tied up in pigtails. She had breasts the size of her head and a pair of hips that could stop a truck.
April smiled. "Hey, how's it going?"
"How dare you barge into my house after everything you've done to me?"
"I didn't barge into your house," April objected. "You live in a cave. A cave isn't a house."
"How did you even get here? I booby trapped the woods and the cave, and I even booby trapped the door—"
"Never mind that." April waddled through the door, her massive hips shaking left and right, knocking over potted plants and stacks of magical tomes. "I need some help."
"Help?" Riley laughed and her hands began to glow with sickly green energy. "When I'm done with you you're going to be as flat as a tapeworm under a cinderblock.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said April. "Not unless you want this entire place to blow sky high."
"What are you talking about?"
April pulled down her shirt and showed Riley the bomb sandwiched between her breasts. Riley frowned. April's cleavage was so deep that there was no way to tell how much high explosive was inside her cleavage.
"There's a pressure trigger being held down by my boobs," April explained. "If those boobs get any smaller, the trigger will pop up and this place with be blown to smithereens."
"You're lying."
"Fine, you can risk it and end up blowing us up, or you could just give me something to make Jordan's cock bigger."
"What?" Riley laughed. "He's huge! I even made his cock bigger than I normally would so that he wouldn't complain."
"I don't care. He needs to be bigger."
"Why?"
"Because now everything's boring!" April exclaimed.
---
April did enjoy Jordan's huge cock. However, after four months of passionate lovemaking, April sensed that something was off. Jordan would come back from work, dragging his limp cock across the ground, and ask for dinner. He had done the same thing last night, trudging into the house, barely bothering to lift his cock off of the ground.
"Don't you want to have sex first?" April asked.
"I'm hungry: food first."
After dinner, Jordan sat down and lifted his dick in his arms, laying it on the hassock so that he could get comfortable. He sat there, watching videos on his smart phone, his cock barely twitching. April wanted it. She liked the taste and she liked the warmth in his body, and she liked watching his member rise stiffen and rise into the air. Now, she had to work for it.
"What's wrong?" Jordan asked, barely taking his eyes off the page. "You coming?"
"Yeah, I guess." She slunk into the living room, dropping to her knees and resting her arms on the hassock. His cock was still wrapped in a special fabric sleeve. Just beneath that thin layer of cloth was a dick the size of human leg. April's mouth used to water when it was this close to Jordan's dick, but now there's was barely enough saliva in her mouth for her to spit.
She lifted her breasts up, and wrapped them around Jordan's dick like a neck pillow, sinking until they made contact with the top of the hassock. They pooled across the cushion like two spoonfuls of warm honey. Jordan's cock was right next to her heart so he could feel her heart beating. April could feel his pulse: a steady thump, thump, thump. There was barely an increase in speed as she slid her breasts up and down the shaft.
Jordan was still swiping at his phone. "That feels good, April. You're doing a good job."
"Good job? Every night you sit down in the chair, and I need to tit fuck you just so we can fall asleep at night. What are we even doing?"
Jordan looked up. "You don't like it? I was just doing this because I thought you wanted to."
"You see? Neither of us are having fun anymore. This is stupid." She fell down on the hassock and pouted. "What happened to us, Pai?"
"First, get off my dick," he cringed. "You're laying on top of it and it doesn't feel good at all!"
As soon as she was off, Jordan explained. "Look, I know that it's great being so huge. If I had to start all over again and I would have wished for the exact same thing, but you've got to admit," Jordan sighed. "It's hard to stay excited when we do the same thing every night."
"What?" April gasped. "How dare you?"
"I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just saying that if you ate cheese fries for dinner every night for four months, you'd get sick of it, too."
"I'd never get sick of cheese fries—never!"
"Well, are you excited right now?" Jordan demanded. "I mean, you've got curves big enough to swamp a tugboat, but do you feel like you're going to come all the time?"
April changed the subject. "So what? Are you saying that I'm not hot anymore?"
"I'm not saying that at all, April. You're beautiful. Threatening to blow up that witch was one of the best moves you've ever made."
"So why aren't you excited anymore?"
"Weren't you listening?"
They argued back and forth until Jordan lost his temper.
"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Fine!" April ran upstairs and slammed the door.
Their queen sized bed felt empty for the first time in years. She sat down on the bed, afraid that it she lay down by herself, then it would happen again and again. She needed to teach Jordan a lesson.
"So, he's bored?" April sniffled, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "I'll show him. He's going to get exactly what he wants, and we'll see if he doesn't get more excited the next time."
---
"So, that's why I need to make Pai bigger," April explained. "So, are you going to give me something, or are you going to take your chances with the bomb?"
Riley sighed. "You're probably just getting bored with the same-old sex. Novelty wears off, no matter how big a person is."
"Oh, so you're taking his side, is that it?"
"I'm taking the side that doesn't break into my house and make me do stuff for them. Leave me out of it. If you're bored having sex with your boyfriend, do something else."
"I don't want to hear it!"
April took a deep breath and pushed out her chest. "I'm wearing a button-down blouse. If I take another breath, my tits will pop this shirt and the bomb will fall out, blowing up everything. Now are you going to give me a potion or not?"
"I'm not here to grant your wishes whenever you want," Riley scowled. "Go ahead, blow it up. See if I care."
