That hospital examination room was like any other -- stark, white, and bright. Tongue depressors and gauze sat in jars on a counter by the corner, and a gallon of hand sanitizer stood near the sink. I'd already changed into that immodest frock they gave me and had a choice: the table covered in deli paper or an orange plastic chair.
I chose that chair and waited. I bridled my time, stared at a clock on the wall... and watched it tick. I'd almost dozed off when the door flung open. She swept in wearing a brilliant smile, a short pale-blue gown, and a stethoscope draped around her neck.
"I'm Dr. Joanne, and you're here for the prostate exam, right?" she said while glancing at her clipboard.
That young pony-tailed woman who stood tall, perched on heels, was beautiful AND confused.
"You must have the wrong clipboard; I made an appointment last month. I'm here for a mole," and pointed to my thigh.
She glanced at her board again, then raised her head, "Yep, that's what it says, mole and prostate. I'm here to perform the prostate. Take off your underwear, and let's get started."
I was somewhat taken aback, not to mention unprepared for this event. "I assure you, I am NOT here for my prostate, only my mole," I politely protested, raising my voice... ever so slightly.
"The prostate exam is now standard procedure in this hospital for anyone over fifty. Are you over fifty?"