Comedy? Sci-fi? I never know what category to put these under. This is a short one-off. Hope you enjoy!
**
Ray Sterling was very excited when an extremely large container arrived. I had no idea what was in it, but it took ten minutes for the delivery guys to get it through the door. Ray made them move it all the way to his office before they left, so thank goodness they had a dolly. Ray wasn't alone in his room long with the strange container. When he came bursting out minutes after the delivery crew left, slamming the door behind him, I knew someone had fucked up big time. Ray is not someone to cross.
"Everything okay, boss?" I asked. I've worked for Ray for seven years and was accustomed to his tantrums. I just hoped the anger wouldn't be directed at me.
"No, it's not okay!" yelled Ray. "I ordered a goddamn female bot and they sent me a male!"
"Female bot?" I chortled.
"Don't laugh, Sarah. If they are half as good as the manufacturer claims, it's going to sell crazy! The best part? We will be the main distributor for this product in America. My wife and I were going to test it out this weekend."
Now, I really laughed. Our company handles distribution of many high-end, hard-to-get goods. Some of them are adult oriented, such as unique furniture, expensive toys and leather gear. You get the gist. It was maybe fifteen percent of our total business, which is substantial, but I had no knowledge of any sex bots. "Why not just take this one to test?" I asked.
Ray looked like his head may explode and yelled, "Because I'm not letting my wife fuck a fucking robot!" I had to bite my lip from laughing even harder. Ray was pissed, but this was authentically hilarious to me.
"Sarah, these bots are programmed for one thing. Fucking. Nothing else! They can't talk, cook, clean, nothing! They aren't meant for anything but sexual pleasure. Yeah... I'm not competing against that."
"Yet, you're okay with a female bot, and having your wife 'compete' against that?" I inquired.
Ray shrugged, "It was her idea. She'll be as upset as I am about this. Now I have to call them back and tell them to replace this male version with the right one. I purchased this for review, you know. At a discount, but still... it isn't cheap!"
I got up from my desk and circled around. "Do you mind if I see it?"
"Go ahead! Maybe you'll want one, too."
"Hah! I doubt it," I said, opening the door to his office.
I was shocked by what I saw. It wasn't something as simple as a 'bot' because it was very lifelike. While it didn't appear authentically human, it didn't look like a mannequin. Perhaps something in between. His cock, however, looked very real. He was well hung. I wondered how it looked like erect, and I was more surprised that it could even go flaccid. I mean, I am assuming it gets erect. "How in the hell does it work?" I asked.
"Simple as an 'on' switch. Back of the neck."
"Oh, wow. Turn it on. I want to see how it works!"
"Wait for the right model. I'm not going to risk breaking this thing."
"Fine," I huffed, "But, too bad. It would have finally made a day interesting around here."
"Watch yourself, missy!" Ray pointed. He hated when I complained about work, but I like to take a jab every now and then.
Ray called somebody not long after our talk and I heard him ranting, insisting they ship one out today so he could have it by the weekend. He was unashamed about his intentions, too. "I spent too much goddamn money for this kind of mistake to happen!" I heard him yelling from his office. "I don't care if you have to fly it here overnight. Do it!"
He seemed in better spirits later, so I guess he got his wish and as usual, he left the office thirty minutes before me at the end of the day. He never stays until five, because he hates the traffic. Ray wasn't gone five minutes, before curiosity got the best of me and I went to check out the sex bot in his office. It was still standing upright, inside the opened shipping container. I was just able to see the button on the back of its neck, along with a tiny digital display that showed the image of a battery and the number '42' overlayed on it.
Surely, a couple minutes just to see what happens when you turn it on wouldn't do any harm. I hit the button and the unit suddenly seemed to liven up, though it said and did nothing. "Are you... awake?" I asked.