Reincarnated as a Vibrator

I first got this idea about reincarnation twelve months ago and have been exploring it since. The research that I am doing has lead to a new vibrator design that I am now inventing and will share the details with you. Concerning my invention, there is a patent pending; so don't get any thoughts.

First, the reincarnation part. This occurred to me as I was having lunch with two of my coworkers. I do not remember what they were discussing but be assured it was far below my thoughts and aspirations.

Now, my one luncheon companion, we'll call her Amy, because I like that name. The other we will call Carly because she looks like a young Carly Fiorina. Carly Fiorina is the CEO of Hewllett-Parkard. Plus my Carly is a real bitch in a lot of ways so I'm sure she will be the kick-ass manager, or possibly, smiling CEO someday. I found out that she told another co-worker I was a simple-minded out-of-control techno-nerd. That pissed me off; especially, the 'simple' part of it. The nerd part was also offensive because, as an Internet product development geek, I am above that. But, I guess I am partially to blame for her hatred towards me. About two years ago, I called her a 'fuckin market puke that knows nothing' in the middle of meeting. She got all huffy and stormed out of the meeting. I got called on the carpet. Thank goodness, we were still the Internet boom and I did not get booted. Carly and I have since 'kissed and made up', non-literally though. Anyway, let's get to more important things.

Back at lunch, they were boring and I hadn't had a good sex fantasy in at least fifteen minutes. Now I was thinking how nice it would for the three of us to go over to Amy's and have group sex the whole afternoon. That would be much more exciting than our product review meetings. But then, given that Carly is married, and for other minor reasons, I decided it wasn't such a good idea. That's when I thought of being reincarnated as a vibrator and that both Amy and Carly would share it. Wasn't sure how sharing would be done by Amy and Carly as many times they would argue for hours over the most minor, mundane and boring marketing issues.

So being the diligent engineer that I am, I thoroughly research the vibrator market. I was shocked by what I learned. This is not a simple decision. The choices are frickin endless. After a while, I would even dream about these toys and their use.

For example, one night I dreamt that Carly and I went on a business trip. We were going through airport security and she got caught with one of those silver bullets up her cunt. The security guard had the wand thing going up her legs and the thing started beeping wildly. Of course, I had my laptop going by that time with my web-cam recording. So much for her becoming CEO; or, maybe, there's another angle on this if she does become CEO. About then, I came back to reality because she never smiles enough to have balls, eggs, bullets, or torpedoes in her during the day. Besides, she is fairly bright, so she would switch to the non-metal ones for trips involving air travel.

Now Amy, I dreamt that she would be fond of the 'Phallic Vibrator with Clitoral Stimulator'. This toy is fairly sophisticated like her. It has dual multi-speed controls. One control rotates the vibrator shaft and the other engine vibrates the shaft and the clitoral stimulator. It combines both the thrusting and clitoral action. She loves options because she keeps pressing me for more options in everything I develop (or try to develop) at work. This vibrator has the option of beads in the center of the shaft to intensify the sensations! I can picture her using it during one our meeting breaks. It is silent but I imagine her to be a big squealer during a clitoris orgasm and hollowing during g-spot or anal orgasm. Hate for someone to call Security and us evacuating twenty floors. Perhaps I should recommend that she wait until she gets home. It comes in purple too and I know that she always dress in her palette.

Getting back to this complex choice for reincarnation, I put together a spreadsheet of the different types of vibrators. To be thorough, I included dongs, double dongs, eggs, balls, beaver twisters, clit stimulators, g-spot stimulators, combined g-spot and clit stimulators, strap-ons, probes, plugs, beads, nipple stimulators, nipple clamps, vibrating nipple cups, nipple teasers, nipple and clit enlargers, etc. etc. into my list. Now some of these dongs, etc, come with cyberskin coverings, derivatives from NASA developed materials, which makes them feel like real skin. Many of the other newer toys were 'plug and play' with various adaptors and options.

All of these toys where interesting. For example, the 'elite studded dildo harness (with detachable ring)'. Now picture this. Amy and Carly go on business trip. They get there early the night before. They spend lots of company money on drinks and food. They go to Amy's room. Amy takes this pair of leather thong panties (the harness) and slides a large dildo through the whole and ring. She puts on harness and now has big cock for fucking Carly. After Carly orgasms, Amy has Carly suck her dick. I can just imagine Carly on her knees sucking Amy's dick. Then Carly takes harness off Amy, replaces large dildo with a smaller one, puts on harness and wildly fucks Amy in the ass. This stuff continues through the night. The next morning they wake up together in Amy's bed at 9am, Carly goes back to her room, they get dress in their pristine business suits and, with typical smiles, attend the 11am meeting pretending nothing significant happened the night before.

Eggs, balls, beads, torpedoes, etc, caught my attention. For example, the latex covered balls -- three balls on a string with easy retrieval from a small ring at the end of the string that stays on the outside, hopefully. The balls move and vibrate with the motion of body. These can be 'worn' at work, at play, day or night. I was at the mall the other day and didn't see much 'smiling' during my brief survey of the women there. So either the marketing is over-stated or market reach is poor. Perhaps their marketing has people like our Amy and Carly.

In my list, there were thousands of items. Surely, there must be hundreds of types of dongs not counting size and color. This market must be huge. After all, this is America and we just don't make and market shit that sits on the shelves. So who is using this stuff ad what are they using. Or, 'What do woman want for toys?' That's the essence of my reincarnation research and question.

I decided to do my own marketing and analysis to answer this question. My list was narrowed to about twenty items or categories of toys. Each day for three weeks, I would smile and make eye with various women. These would be every day women; women at work, at Starbucks, on the elevator, etc. Approximately thirty women unknowingly participated. From their reactions of smiles, eye contact, etc, and my visualization of them using various toys, I determined if and what types of toys they liked. Given my abilities at reading woman, I believe that this was sufficient research to determine my reincarnation plans. Anyway, I thought the study to be much more valuable than the conference room pontification done by Amy and Carly at our work.

But, after all this work, I decided for various reasons that I would not reincarnate as a vibrator. The technology in this area is moving too fast. Secondly, several new things happened that presented exciting alternate opportunities to me. All this work and research was not wasted.

The first of this good news is that I started dating Kati, one of the strangers in the survey. Kati was such a gracious participant, made great eye and had a beautiful smile. At the time, I did not tell her about my research or survey but I did eventually talk with her about her choice of toys. Well, I was completely off base in my analysis but pleasantly surprise by Kati's choice of the infamous Jack Rabbit. The Jack Rabbit vibrator squirms, thrashes, vibrates and caresses with its pearls and soft ears that intelligently burrows into all the right places. It is like a little robotic multi-pronged jackhammer on steroids. It has a three-function remote control for an almost hands-free operation. The soft rabbit ears burrow and dance on the clit or anus while the shaft is burrowing for the deep. That thing has more action, cycles, and controls than our new washing machine. It has two motors. One motor for the seven-inch shaft and the other makes the ears vibrate like crazy. These motors operate independently for maximum flexibility and pleasure. Now you might think that I am bullshitting about its functionality but do your own research or ask some of you Literotica buddies. Finally, after many discussions and whining on my part, Kati showed me how she uses it. Readers, this is something else but you will have to wait for a new story.

The really good news is that I am inventing and developing (and patenting) a new and special vibrator. Now, erogenous zone, you might ask – what's so new and different. Well to make it simple, my new vibrator cums. That's right. I have developed a chemical powder that you put in the special vibrator with some tap water. While it is vibrating, the chemicals are mixed into a liquid that looks, tastes, and feels like cum. The vibe evens heats the substance to standard cum-temperature. When you are ready for the big "O", you push a button and the cum squirts out in three powerful bursts. The prototype holds about two ounces but I am thinking of a twelve ounce version with eight squirts. Now don't start emailing about getting the product or any early release. I still have some operational problems. For example, if you push too soon (high probability), the cum is too watery. If you push too late (low probability), you get shot with a hard golf ball type object. Although this later situation is low probability, I really don't want to go to court in any product liability case. I am diligently working out the kinks and Kati is very supportive and is doing all the product tests.

By the way, that bitch, Carly, quit our company. Of course, she blamed everything on me and product development. But I don't care, this new invention will most probably allow Kati and I to retire at a very early age to invent more stuff.