It's sometimes referred to as the "Big Mac Standard" basically a way of comparing the purchasing power of currency in the cities of the world. While it sounds like some Ronald McDonald wet dream come true, it is actually used in making comparisons of purchasing power across the globe.
Each year, Swiss banking giant UBS calculated the hourly wage rate for a number of professions in an area and then divides it into the local price of "a globally available product," for which it chose McDonald's flagship hamburger." (1) This year they report that on a global average, it takes 35 minutes of work to pay for a Big Mac.
Looking more closely at the report, citizens of Tokyo enjoy the greatest buying power, needing to work only 10 minutes to earn enough to buy a Big Mac, closely followed by Los Angeles, Chicago and New York, whose citizens work 11, 12 and 13 minutes respectively to buy a Big Mac. Other cities they studied include Sydney Australia: 14 minutes, London, England: 15 minutes, Paris, France: 21 minutes, Beijing, China: 44 minutes all the way up to Bogota, Colombia: 97 minutes.
Encouraged by the results of this study, I immediately came upon an idea that could combine two of my favorite things in this world: food and sex. Taking the basic idea of using McDonald's Big Mac as a standard of currency I decided to take the study a step forward. Unfortunately, due to a recent Nude Day hamburger eating contest I am no longer welcome at the Houston and surrounding counties' McDonald's Restaurants, so I needed to improvise.
Of course you know, I am talking about the favorite fare of Mick Daltons Quick Lube and Hamburger Emporium, the Big Mick, featuring two semi-meat patties, pickles, onions, with special sauce all on a sesame seed bun. Anyway, I filled the back seat of my car with Big Micks and headed out to test my true buying power.
My first stop was at a nearby newsstand, video arcade and porn shop where unfortunately I ran into a PETA card carrying vegetarian health food nut cashier who turned down my offer of ten Big Micks for day-glow silicone filled vibrating dildo faster than the punk rock reject cashier turns down my credit card at the local Shell station.
I decided to wait at the porn shop until the manager came in, but that also turned out to be a real fiasco because he apparently recognized me from some earlier problems at the shop and immediately threw me out. He had the audacity to tell me that he was tired of me and my "special sauce" causing the pages of his triple X rated magazines to stick together. I've never brought a Big Mick into that establishment before so how could I have gotten the special sauce on the pages for them to stick together.
Figuring that sex toys and porn magazines are really bush league items anyway, to really get a true indication of the value of my Big Micks I needed professional input. Well, in Houston, if you are looking for pros, there's two places to go. You can go to the ballpark or stadium to find a handful of overpaid prima-donnas or you go to South Main for the hardest working pros in the business.
Well, after dropping my last fifty dollars on gas at the Shell station, after they turned down my credit card once again, I started my car and headed into Houston. My air conditioning hasn't worked in a while, so the Big Micks were easily maintained at a temperature of 130 degrees F. The proven shelf life of a Big Mick under a heat lamp is about seventeen and a half hours, so I was still in good shape.
Once I exited the freeway and pulled onto South Main, I quickly located my first prospects, Katrine and Leslia, two nice looking women, wearing skin tight hot pants with what looked like a shear white bra, with nothing else but for knee high boots. I pulled up to the curb and watched at they swayed over to me.
"Hi ladies," I said, "How about a little fun."
"Oh Damn Leslia, it's that pervert who came here last week wanting a senior discount."
"Now ladies, you can't blame me for wanting the best bang for the buck."
