public-rejection
ADULT HUMOR

Public Rejection

Public Rejection

by oggbashan
6 min read
4.42 (5400 views)
adultfiction
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Copyright Oggbashan September 2019

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

***************

Anthea stood in the bar of Royal Opera House during the interval of a new production of the ballet 'Giselle'. Even without her swept-up blonde air, she was a head taller than the sombre suited men surrounding her and much taller than their petite ex-ballerina wives. When Ralph dropped to his knees in front of her, his head barely reached the golden belt around her bright red column dress.

In front of his friends, mainly of his father's generation, he started to propose.

"No," Anthea said firmly. "You don't know who I am, Ralph, or even what I like. You know ballet bores me but this is the third time this month we have been here. You don't share my passion for athletics nor do you appreciate how good I am. All you want is what you see and I'm more than that. Goodbye."

She left Ralph kneeling on the floor and went to find a taxi.

+++

It was the end of the air show. Celia was standing on the podium next to Tom who was a minor local radio celebrity and had been announcing the aircraft. A final aircraft appeared towing a banner which read:

"Celia will you marry me? Tom"

Tom spoke into the microphone broadcasting his words to the assemble crowd. He held a ring box in his hand.

"Well, Celia? Will you?"

Celia took the microphone from him.

"No. You want to know why?"

"Yes," Tom said into the microphone.

"How much did that banner cost?"

"A thousand pounds."

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"And the ring?"

"The same, Celia."

"But you haven't got two thousand pounds, Tom. It must have been on your credit card."

Tom was seen to nod.

"Then that is the reason for your rejection. I want a husband who is financially sensible and that you are not."

Celia switched off the microphone, handed it back to Tom and left the podium.

+++

There was polite applause as Alan finished his adequate karaoke version of 'My Way'. He stood there in the spotlight, a slim slight man better dressed than most of the customers of this all night cafΓ©.

He cleared his throat, brought the microphone back to his lips and said:

"Tracey, will you marry me?"

The cafΓ© was shocked into stunned silence. Tracey was one of the regular prostitutes who used this cafΓ© as a pick-up point. Tracey got up from her seat, walked across to Alan, took the microphone from his hand and said:

"No, Alan. You can't afford to buy me from my pimp, you're not strong enough to fight him for me, and although you are good in bed and considerate, there's only one of you, and I like variety in my partners. I enjoy what I do, enjoy being paid for it, and while I like you, that isn't enough. Thank you for the compliment but go back to your parents who would never accept me as a daughter-in-law. Goodbye."

Alan walked out of the cafΓ© in the silence that followed Tracey's words.

+++

It was Robert's retiring party at the company where he had worked for most of his life, finally ending as a senior manager. The staff had presented him with a set of gardening tools for which he had thanked them. He continued with the microphone:

"I intend to sit on my terrace and enjoy my roses. They need more time and effort than I have been able to give them in recent years. In a year or so I expect to have a magnificent display. But now I am no longer employed by the company, I want to do something I couldn't do before. Maureen has been my secretary and help for the last ten years. Maureen? Will you marry me, please?"

Maureen took the microphone from him.

"No, Robert. I know too much about you. You want a wife who would be your carer, bring you drinks while you sit on the terrace admiring your roses but I want more than that. I want to travel, to see the world, and experience life, not roses. Now I am no longer your secretary I am retiring too, to be Anthony's wife and travel the world with him. Thank you, and goodbye."

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+++

Michael was an usher at his sister, Susan's, wedding. Emily was one of Susan's bridesmaids and Michael's girlfriend.

At the reception after the formal speeches, Michael picked up the microphone and proposed to Emily.

Emily snatched it from him.

"No, Michael, this is neither the time nor the place. It is Susan's day, not yours. You should be more considerate on your sister's wedding day, not seek to use it for yourself. Whether I would accept or not is irrelevant because today is to celebrate Susan's wedding. Your action today is not a good sign. You should apologise to your sister."

Emily switched the microphone off, put it down and walked off to the ladies toilet. She didn't emerge until Michael had gone.

+++

Matthew was the final speaker at the association's annual general meeting. After his formal ending he added:

"I have one more request before I declare this year's meeting closed. Fiona? Will you marry me?"

Fiona was one of the committee sitting behind him. She stood up, walked to the podium, and picked up the microphone.

"No, Matthew, I will not. I cannot. You haven't told me but I have found out that you already have a wife and four children. You aren't even formally separated, let alone divorced. I can't marry someone who is already married and a liar."

Fiona put the microphone down and resumed her seat.

+++

Alice was a contestant on a TV dance show, paired with Marco, one of the professional dancers. She was the bookmakers' favourite to win. She had been a pop singer in an all-girl group and had danced as part of their routines.

The tabloid newspapers coverage of the series had reported that almost all the contestants, despite their marriages, were having affairs with others on the show. There had been suggestions that Alice, as the only divorced and therefore single person, had slept with every male dancer and all the male contestants. There had been no more than suggestions because there was no evidence that Alice had been out with anyone.

After the final dance off, Alice and Marco were declared winners. After they had accepted the winners' award, Marco dropped to his knees on live TV and proposed to Alice.

"No, Marco," Alice said. "Just because I am the only woman who has not been to bed with you, marriage won't solve that. Keep your tom-catting for others, not me."

The credits rolled before Marco could reply.

+++

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