Project "Epica" was initiated by the US government in 2007 with the aim of studying biological variability in the human body, notably with regards to those parameters linked to sexual performance, due to the ongoing decrease in human fertility.
Here is the report submitted by Dr Laura P., in charge of the LA metropolitan area on 3rd March 2011 to the Congressional Subcommittee on project "Epica".
Dear Congressmen,
As part of the national endeavor of project "Epica", I was put in charge of conducting anatomical and physiological observations of a random sample of the adult US population residing in the LA metropolitan area from August 2007 to August 2010.
Our team sampled 28,765 human subjects, randomly chosen in all age, race and gender groups. In accordance with US regulation 342(b)-19, the precision of the results was optimized by computer and robot-assisted measurements which guaranteed anonymity to the subject, helping achieve a recruitment rate of 99.3% in our program, through the use of a financial incentive of 100$ per subject.
It is therefore our beliefs that the results obtained throughout this study are unbiased and represent the true distribution of anatomical variability in human sexual parameters.
As regards to the female group of our sample, two important trends emerged:
1) A correlation between the relative weight of the mammaries to the total body weight and the size of the vagina.
2) A significant increase in the standard deviation of anatomical measures for the lower age group (18-25) sampled.
As regards to the male group of our sample, two important trends emerged:
1) A correlation between the relative weight of the sexual organs to the total body weight and the sperm count/ volume of ejaculate.
2) A significant increase in the standard deviation of anatomical measures for the lower age group (18-25) sampled.
In other words, it appears that the minor age group in the LA area is displaying an abnormally wider distribution of anatomical measures. This variability could result from environmental factors such as food chemical, which deregulate normal organ growth. On the other hand, genetic factors could account for the remarkably high sexual potency we observed in a few subjects, notably subject 8610 and 13884 referred hereafter as Tim D. and Paul V.
While the average size of the erect male penis was measured at 5.4 in for the whole sample, with a standard deviation of 0.7 in, and the average erect girth at 4.1 in with a SD of 0.4 in, Tim D.'s measurements fell far beyond the expected Gaussian distribution. We will therefore focus on Tim D., in order to determine whether his genetic identity can help inverse the dramatic negative trend observed across in the US.
Subject Tim D.:
Age: 18 at time of sample
Height: 6ft2
Weight: 245 Lbs
Body fat index: 3%
Race: white
Subject entered the measurement room and undressed. Erection was achieved in 22s via visual stimulation on a video screen. This compared favorably with the average of 2mn10s observed in our whole sample. Millimetric cameras estimated the erect length and girth of Tim D's penis at 15.2in and 9.3in. Total volume was 1460% of the average of the sample. Combined testicles volume was 1650% of the average. The rigidity meter was positioned around the midshaft and results indicated that the subject was able to maintain 97% rigidity, far above the 81% for the whole sample.
Due to the abnormally large size of Tim D's genitalia, our automated sperm collector was not capable of encircling the glans. Therefore, as an extreme measure, nurse B. was encouraged to manually collect the sperm sample from subject Tim D. Nurse B. was able extract the sperm sample after thorough manual stimulation of subject Tim D's penis, but not to collect it for measurement. I enclose the following audio excerpts from the event for the subcommittee's appreciation.
(voice of nurse B.)
"Oh my God, this is the biggest, most beautiful cock I've ever seen in my life! Jeezus, what a monster! I will need both hands to manually stimulate your teenage bull dong!"
(voice of Tim D.)