Phineas Phinephallus's Phun

(

Note to Readers:

This story is being posted in THREE PARTS, and this completes it. Parts 1 and 2 should be read first, there's no recapping here. To find them, click on the stories link above. This is a shameless wish-fulfillment fantasy. I saw no reason why it shouldn't go completely over the top. It may not have all that much humor, but in its rendering of the desires of a cis het male writer of smut, it's definitely satirical [of myself]. Everyone in the story is at least 18 years old, and lives in a world where pandemic worries have waned, steps are taken to avert STIs and unwanted pregnancy, everybody happily bangs as many adults as give enthusiastic consent, and nobody gets hurt. The sex includes M-to-F anal fucking, F-to-M analingus and light anal fingering, FMF, FFMF, groups, swaps, interracial, titfucking, and a vast amount of straight vanilla and oral, some of it in public. Enjoy!)

***

October 19

The first thing I was aware of the next morning was Alyssa's voice in my ear. "You are one goofy drunk."

"And you zonked out on us completely," Ruth complained, "after we went to all the trouble of getting you here. We had to give to each other."

That woke me up completely. "Um, you, uh--"

Alyssa reared up, and plunged her breasts onto, and all over, my face. "So you have to win us back to heterosexuality."

"You're too big a lummox for Lucy to wrangle," came Ruth's voice from somewhere, while my cock was being lifted and stroked, "Her request for reinforcements was quite welcome, once we finished breaking in some new boyfriends. The old ones wear out so easily. How are we supposed to be satisfied with only two or three orgasms?"

"We'll keep the old boyfriends around," said Alyssa, sliding her boobs down to my chest, "'cause they're cute, and eventually fuckworthy again." She kissed me deep, and I responded vigorously.

"No hangover?" asked Ruth. There was now a hand on a my balls, joining the one trying to keep up with the enlargement of my cock.

"Mmmfrlfrggllmm," I replied eruditely.

I heard knocking from where the door was.

"I took the liberty of ordering room service," said Ruth, departing the bed. "Too much of everything. You need protein."

By the time Ruth completed what was surely a delightful interaction of her nude self with what sounded like a male hotel staffer, I was balls deep in Alyssa. To her surprise, but with her eager consent.

"I'll start without you, since you started without me," called Ruth from the outer room. "Classy place. The steaks with the eggs are ribeyes."

That made me very hungry, but somehow I didn't take a bite of Alyssa. I rolled her over, squeezing and kissing and ramming hard and fast into what I now knew to be a strong, durable vagina. It felt so good to be fully erect, and able to use all of it! I'm fond of Zenobia, Maureen, but I really didn't want to repeat the way I had to make love to her.

"Wow!" said Alyssa, breaking mouth contact, eyes huge. "What were you drinking last night? No wonder Zenobia called you the best fuck she'd ever had!"

"It's not booze!" I bellowed. "It's you, Alyssa Pontevecchio! You're half of my favorite intoxicants!"

With her mouth full, Ruth said, "That's very sweet, from a horndog, but you're already railing that half. Sounds like you'll have plenty left for me later."

"W-well," huffed Alyssa, "Guess yuh, you've got, over your shyness. Okay. b-big guy, you're in charge. Sh-show me what yuUUUHHH!"

"I'm impressed," said Ruth, who from the corner of my eye I saw spreading jam on toast. "If you got her cumming this early, there might four or five more, ready to tip like dominoes."

"Bitch! Do I tell on yooOOOOOO!"

My shlong felt what might have been a squirt. I was now starving, as the smells of eggs and coffee and sausage gravy and bacon and biscuits and honey and, mmm, grilled steak, attacked my nose. Yet my dick wanted only to feast on the quivers and spasms of the woman who made the mistake of waking me up.

In a while, after more or her dominoes toppled, Alyssa gripped my shoulders hard, her whole body wrenching, and said, "Uncle! I want more, but I'd like to use this pussy again someday!"

I reared up over her, and triumphantly released to her cervix the fearsome alchemy of my testicles and prostate. That felt

so

incredibly good!

Then I withdrew my putz with a loud

putz,

hauled myself to one side, and collapsed alongside her. "Goofy, huh?"

She could barely form consonants. "You made me goofier." Another squirt dribbled out of her, bringing along some spunk.

I got cuddly and nuzzled her neck. "You're a cupcake, you know that?"

"I hear that all the time," she said. "Ruthie, he's lured me to the dark side."

"Bullshit, my dear bulldyke."

"Well, yeah, but for the next few minutes."

"Let's eat," I said, and dragged her with me to the outer room.

I was a total pig. Scrambled eggs from at least three shells, one of those fine ribeyes, four bacon rashers, two biscuits (one gravy, one honey), about a quart of orange juice, maybe an Idaho spud's worth of hash browns, and three cups of coffee. There wasn't much left of the too-much when Alyssa got up and knocked on the connecting door, saying, "Want some food?"

Moments later, Lucy barged in, nude, and slicked with various fluids in various intimate places. "Sure. Is there still coffee?"

"Some," I said, hefting one of the carafes.

"Good," she said, wheeling the tray away from the table. "Phineas, don't believe anything you hear from these perverts." She then got both her friends into a titty-and-pussy-grinding tri-hug, and sloppy kissed them both.

My erection tried to borrow extra skin from my belly.

I rose, intruded on the kiss, and pulled Ruth away. "My work is never done," I sighed.

I didn't have the same manic energy I'd had with Alyssa, but I was every bit as cavemanish. Alyssa returned the earlier favor by telling me Ruth's exploitable weaknesses (like the freckles between her boobs).

I changed condoms twice, just to be sure. No rips.

My curly cutie had come only three times when Alyssa went nuclear.

"Fuck her ass, and spew in it."

Ruth's look to me was both chagrined and ardent.

"Yeaaahhh, I'm really primed there now. Ummm, it'll feel good."

I peeled away the condom, and gave her an inquiring look. Ruth nodded, lips a tight line. "I can't speak for all bisexual women," she said, "but the ones you're involved with really like cocks. In our pussies, and our elsewheres." She preferred to be the one who lubed this particular elsewhere.

Because I so enjoyed Ruth's cute freckled face and sweet body, I had her cowgirl me, her butt spindled, her pretty pussy bright pink and unoccupied. This allowed her to control speed and depth, which to me felt just fine.

As she slowly withdrew and advanced, I flicked her clit. "Want anything here?"

"Not anymore," she crooned, eyes closed. "You've wrecked it. Might be out of commission for three hours. Mmm, well, two."

According to Alyssa, Ruth came twice more.

"Done," Ruth slurred, though she didn't stop pistoning.

Now brimming with protein, I came copiously, where my semen wouldn't cause an unwanted life change. I also growled loud and long, at the end of which I thought I heard a laugh from Lucy.

***

My security contingent helped their drunkard shower, with water not the only substance going down the drain. They were less interested in the male rite of face shaving. Alyssa noted that she had been assigned to talk some sense into her once-and-future boyfriend, after which she would join Ruth and Certain Others at an

EE

booth where they would sell (for charity) selfie opportunities while wearing Certain Hats, with or without robes, closed or open.

Our suites might now be seen by housekeeping as Defcon Eight, so Lucy and I went to the workout room to get out of the way. There were other people in the gym, sweating off the previous night's revels, so we kept our conversation impersonal and aboveboard.

When we returned to our rehabilitated suites, we showered separately and eased into morning work mode. Our passion for each other had heightened in some ways, but we were both physically sated. Our banter about the sex we were having was just for fun.

Lucy noted that my only scheduled event that day was the book signing, and she reminded me that the negotiations would be in my suite, so there was no reason for me to go to the exhibit hall yet.

In a little while, she was on her way down to the Hats-Left-On event, and looked in to my suite, where I was at the desk, typing on the laptop.

"What's up? I have all the content for the movie rights," she said. "They'll be here in an hour."

"Just updating my journal," I said without looking her way.

"That's right," she said. "You do that every day." Then I might have heard the word 'autobiography.' Then she was gone.

***

My suite's outer room had a large round table with four swivel chairs. I was seated there with three of the most desirable women in adult entertainment.

There was Seraphina Green, the busty, raven-haired Australian with huge blue eyes and a cute chin cleft.

There was Midori Watanabe, Japan's premiere star in 'paizuri,' the art of taking a penis between her breasts and bringing it to orgasm. Her sweet face was compelling even when her amazing natural breasts were revealed.

There was Constance Vine, the dazzling African-American beauty, with perhaps the most desired, and athletically proficient, derriere in erotic video. Yet her breastworks compared well with those of the other women.

I had been breathing very carefully since the moment they walked in. I had formed acceptable spoken words when I welcomed them. I was thick down below, but not actually erect. Any stimulus would get me that way.

Lucy was seated at the desk, with her laptop supplanting mine.

Midori smiled and said, "I know that your agent has hoped for a bidding war, but my colleagues and I have reached some agreements on our own." Though she was Japan-born and spoke with the prosody of her homeland, Midori's English was letter perfect.

"I think you'll still be pleased with the results of our collusion," said Constance, sweeping fingers on the surface of a tablet. "The total you'd receive would be well into seven figures."

Seraphina set a finger at her cheek, as if in thought. "Although, there is one property that we couldn't agree on. We all want

The Blossoming of Deirdre Kent."

She looked at Lucy. "I'm afraid we're at an impasse. Our production companies would be heavily committed on the other properties."

I lifted my coffee cup, and drank. My hand didn't shake.

"In that case," said Lucy, "we can simply keep the rights for now. As Constance said, the deal on the other works is quite lucrative as it is."

So far, the three women had been straightforward and businesslike. Was there an undercurrent?

I decided to see if I was projecting my own idiotic desires.

"I think all of you would be wonderful as Deirdre Kent," I said, eye-contacting each. "And my fans have made it clear that they love her, and would like to see more of her. And, also, other tales of, um, blossoming."

"Oh, will you write more?" said Constance, leaning forward, decolletage first.

"I love that book," murmured Midori, rising from her seat.

"Do you think," said Seraphina, "you could pattern the next blossomer...on me?"

Lucy rose and headed for the connecting door, saying, "I'll have the contracts printed for signing."

Constance slipped around the table and got to me first. "Bosom erotica needs more diversity." Her hand slid around my back.

"Asian breasts deserve more respect," said Midori, as hers bracketed my shoulder.

"Piss off, bitches!" yelled Seraphina, climbing on the table and throwing off her sweater. "This cobber's mine!" The antipodean breasts that had inspired so many spurts of semen (including mine) wobbled towards my face.

The connecting door closed behind Lucy.

I managed to get free of the chair before all three encased me in their arms. They were laughing, kissing me, and getting all four bodies free of clothes.

Midori was the first to get a hand on my dick. "The social media posts were true."

Constance tiptoed and got a huge, fragrant breast onto my face. "You clearly know quite a lot about large breasts, and how to please them. But wouldn't you like to do more research?"

"Where I come from," said Seraphina, "When jizz blasts between tits, it goes clockwise. You should visit me when I'm back home."

"Don't be afraid of me," Midori giggled, and referred to Japanese censorship. "I won't turn your cock into a blur!"

Getting unsteady on my feet from the intoxicating pressure of six big, beautiful breasts, I wheezed, "Ladies, I have a bedroom. Could we continue this encounter there?"

We did. As we clambered on the bed, these stunning women insisted that they, like so many others at this event. were fangirls of my work.

"I get so turned on from reading," Constance said. "I've been word-fucked many times, but never as good as what I get from you."

"When I read you," said Seraphina, "I don't need a vibrator. Sometimes I don't even need fingers."

"I'm so glad I know English," Midori murmured. "Only four of your books have been translated into Japanese."

I wallowed on the bed for an unspecified time, groping and sucking the mammary bounty, barely enduring the teasing touches on my purpling dick. But I pride myself on my foreplay, and made sure to finger and lick all three pussies, and learn what each one enjoys. I must have done well, because soon all three women, who made their living engaging in sex acts, and treated them as routine, were sighing in pleasure.

Midori seized me for a deep kiss, then said, "I may have cum more from you than have from me."

I guffawed. "I

really

doubt that!"

Constance said, "Women can do multiples, while men struggle to recover."

Seraphina gave my cock a light lick, then said, "These cums will be so much better!"

"Well, duh!" I said. Then: "The three of you combined? That's never been filmed. What I'm watching now could be worth zillions."

"Our agents would have to argue about that for days," said Midori. "It'll probably never be recorded. This will be only a memory we can cherish."

Seraphina showed a wicked smile, and said, "And someday soon, repeat!"

"Audition time," said Constance. She got me on my back and mounted me for cowgirling. "I'm a starlet who's so smart that she bangs a writer.

This

writer! The brilliant Phineas Phinephallus!" She lowered her quim onto my pole, slowly, eyes closing. "Damn, yeah, baby!"

Seraphina and Midori settled on either side of me. They teased me with boob shoves at my face, hoping to distract me.

"Honey," said Constance, leaning down, locking her brown eyes on me, resting her hands on the bed to either side of my chest, "I want to see if you can multitask. Can you love up my pussy and my bazooms at the same time?"

I answered her by pumping into said pussy, handling said bazooms like chalices, and raising my head to kiss the dark, thrusting nipples.

I wanted so very much to cum. Before today, the sight of this nude woman had quickly made me go off in my fist (or Gloria's, when it was movie night). Now I was squeezed by her pussy, stuffed my mouth with her tits, and huffed her musk. And I had to hold back, and work for her pleasure!

I heard Midori's voice: "He'll go off in fifteen seconds."

"I say ten," said Seraphina.

If I weren't already motivated to be my best, that would have steeled my nerve.

I persevered, somehow, and explored her crevasses, and tongued everywhere on her nipples and areolas. Our eyes locked, sharing amazement.

I went into a sort of zen state, my body afloat in transcendent joy, trembling as Constance's did. Every surface of my, ahem, phallus found a warm wet surface that surged, or yielded, or both. My lips, tongue, even the roof of the mouth, delighted in the sweet swelling of the flesh erecting from the peaks of her breasts.

"How's he doing it?" asked Seraphina.

"No normal man can do her like this!" said Midori.

I heard Constance whimper, as shivers traveled her body. Then she said, "Please cum!"

For an instant, I couldn't, as zeroed in as I was to what seemed a mutual ecstasy. Then animal desire reclaimed me, and I wrenched up my trunk in rapid jolts. Heat zoomed through me. Constance clutched my side ribs, and ululated. My head snapped back, finally releasing her breasts.

Eventually, we settled to become a pile of unflexed muscles.

"Phineas," she said hoarsely, "You've ruined me. There are plenty of big, juicy dicks in the porn business. Sometimes, when I'm working, I've wanted to get carried away. Now, I'll be in no danger. None of them is a Phinephallus."

Midori stroked my hair. "Do you have any plans later today?"

I huffed, "Maybe to get my heart restarted."

Seraphina cooed, "We'd like to learn about your recovery time. There's some of that on social media too."

Their learning process involved delighting every square inch of me with breasts. First four of them, then six, once Constance regained her strength.

I was essentially immobile, on my back, when Seraphina got between my legs and wrapped my shlong between her breasts.

I mumbled, "What a lovely blossomer."

"What a quick restart!" she said, looking down at what pushed above her cleavage. "What was it, five minutes? You're an erection assembly line, an' no mistake!"

As much as I wanted to continue sliding between her nates, I couldn't object when she reset herself to coat my dork with her saliva, then become my latest cowgirl. My entry to her quim shook a groan from me, and a louder one from her.

"In, yes," she said, "All the way, mmmm, yes." At last she stilled, flattening my pubes with her mons. She remained there for a while, eyes closed, lips parted. Then she looked at me with a crooked smile, Leaning forward, she said, "You think I'm going to let Constance be the only one to get a twofer from Phineas?"

Just before I got her breasts to my face, I caught a glimpse to one side, of Midori. Her smile was every bit as crooked. "I, of course, will want the same," she said. "And I'm waiting the longest without an orgasm."

"That's not acceptable," I gasped, actually

shoving Seraphina's breasts away.

"Sit on my face, Midori. No woman will ever be deprived on my watch."

I enjoyed the stunned looks of both women, at me, at each other. Constance laughed.

"All right," said Midori, straddling my head, "if you can do without our moneymakers."

"I will

not

do without them. My hands can find them without visibility."

And so I fucked Seraphina while I ate Midori's pussy, and fondled all four breasts. Seraphina came while I was still in prime fucking mode, so once she ramped down, I instructed Midori (who came quickly from my cunnilingus) to take her own ride on my spindle, while I got Seraphina to press her genitals on my mouth. Each got their second orgasms from this, and then my second one painted Midori's interior. Not, perhaps, what the ladies had envisioned, but sometimes I decide to assert myself, and my instincts are good.

After we were somewhat relaxed, and relatively quiet, Lucy, still dressed, breezed in. She carried some stacks of paper. "If you're able to hold pens steadily, we can sign now."

We did that, with great amusement.

Lucy stowed our copies in a briefcase, then held up her phone. "His wife wants to know what her naughty husband has been up to."

I believe the premiere item in the photo session was with me flat on my back, Constance kneeling behind my head with her breasts almost suffocating me, and Midori and Seraphina kneeling on either side of my trunk, clamping my putz with the other four of the six breasts to which I will devote new fiction on blossoming.