Frannie's Groun' Sc'ool

The following is a work of fiction: All of the people, places, an' events depicted are merely figments of the' authors' warped imaginations. Since it's our imaginations, we imagine that all of the' fictional characters are of legal age, an' all of their fictional activities are legal in their fictional jurisdiction. In fact, we further imagine that Plato was correct, an' we are all chained inside of a cave just watching shadows on the' wall.

Frannie's Groun' Sc'ool - 01 - Yer Fuel Sys'm - by Jamie an' Lisa - 1223 words - humor - hetero - toys -

Hi, welc'me to th' first employee trainin' film made by me fer Air Ark'nsas. I'm Francine, but mos' folk call me Frannie. I 'ave been ask'd to go o'er th' fuel system on th' Douglas DC-3 airplane. All of you're in luck, 'cause it's a pretty simple sys'em. So this ought not take too long. Assistin' me 'ere is our Pers'nel Man'ger Jewel an' our Op'rations Man'ger Edna. We also 'ave Copilot Daryl 'ere. He's runnin' the camera right now, but'll be on the screen later.

We're gonna start this here inside out. Just 'bout in th' center of th' instrument panel, we 'ave the Fuel S'lector Switch. We draw fuel fer both 'ngines off a the same tank. So we jus' 'ave the one switch an' it can only be one o' three places, Left Main, Right Main, or Auxil'ry. In addition to openin' an' closin' th' valves this switch connects th' fuel ga'ge located directly 'bove th' switch to th' tank yer are drawin' yer fuel from. Havin' a fuel gauge's real nice. But fer now we want yer to forget you 'ave it. Dippin' yer tank's th' real thing. It keeps ya safe an' b'sides that, it's fun. 'Kay, we'll cut 'way for a sec' ...

There we go, through th' magic of film-makin' we've gone from th' cockpit to out on th' wing. We're on th' left-wing 'cause that's w'ere th' auxil'ry tank is. Th' right wing's pretty much th' same except ever'thin's bass-ackwards from this one. An' it don' 'ave no auxil'ry tank to boot. This 'ere purty shaft's yer dipstick. Its a real nice smooth, pol'shed piece o' wood. It's so 'ard an' rugged an' it feels so nice in yer hand ... so ... uh ... What's I saying? Oh yeah, yer dipstick's every girl's bes' friend. Oh, guys don' be silly. S'all right if yer guys like t'em too. We know yer play with 'yer own whenever ya get th' chance.

Now there's a right way an' a wrong way to dip yer tanks. Th' stick should go in, nice an' solid at th' rear of yer hole at a 90-degree angle so yer get an acc'rate readin'. Since th' main an' auxil'ry tanks are different shapes, ther're two marked meas'ments on differ'nt sides o'yer dipstick. It's kind o' hard to read 'em out 'ere in th' bright daylight. So, jus' one sec' here ...

There we go, through th' magic of film-makin' we's now in th' pilots' lounge. I'm goin' to hold th' cam'ra while my co-workers get naked so's we can dem'strate for yer th' prop'r 'cedure for dippin' yer fuel tanks. Copilot Daryl, can yer come over 'ere for a min'te. Very good, now's yer can see Daryl 'as a very nice, rather large, an' quite hard penis. Let's imagine that this penis is a dipstick. So, let's jus' roll 'at foreskin back a lil bit ... Oh, dear, looks like Daryl's dipstick's a mite dry.

Edna, could yer come over 'ere for a minute? It's Copilot Daryl, Edna, it seems 'is foreskin's just a lil bit dry. Would yer mind fellatin' him a bit, so it'll be easier for us t' roll that skin back. Thanks. Now, while Edna's gettin' ole Daryl's dipstick in order, we'll 'ave ole Jew'l ... Jew'l could yer come over 'ere for a minute. 'Kay, she's gonna lay back on th' coffee table an' show off 'er pussy tattoo. Now, all o' us gals, our pussies 're just a lil bit different from each other's. So, ta make life easy'r it jus' makes sense to 'ave the capac'ty of yerr pussy tattooed on th' lil mound right up on top of it. Jew'l's reads "210 Gallons US, 80/87 Octane."

"Oh, I knew it! Some of you smart guys 'ave already caught me! That isn't th' capacity of Jew'l's pussy, it 's th' capacity of yer Left Main an' Right Main Fuel Tanks. I couldn't pull a fast one on youse guys, nope. Now Miss Edna, she's got Copilot Daryl's tallywacker dipstick all ready for use. See th' nice tattoo right 'ere down alon' it's shaft. On th' one side it says, "Edna an' Jew'l," then below it has marks that say one-'alf an' one-quarter. On th' ot'er side, it says "Frannie an' Fern," below that it's also marked one-'alf an' one-quarter.

Copilot Daryl's goin' to insert 'is dipstick into Miss Edna's fuel tank. Remember, just in an' out, no swirlin' it 'round folks. He's tryin' to keep it's close's possible to a 90-degree angle. There we go, well it looks like Copilot Daryl's bein' thorough 'e's goin' to put it in her a couple of times to make shore it gets yer a good reading. Copilot Daryl, yer 'ave to pull out so we can read th' numbers. Daryl, yer only had to check it once. Daryl, enough of the in an' out. Daryl, we are makin' a movie 'ere ... Well while Daryl seems to be goin' a little bit OCD on this 'ere checkin' the fuel level thing, from th' sound of it Miss Edna doesn't seem to mind 'im. People this 's why yer want to 'ave nice quality furn'ture in yer house. Yer never know when th' Pers'nel Manager might drop by for an impromptu Per'odic Perform'ce Review, she does that.

Anyway, 'ey Jew'l hold th' camera 'ere for me while I take my uniform off an' show everybody my pussy tattoo. There we go, "201 Gallons US 80/87 Octane." It doesn't look 's if we're goin' to be able to get Copilot Daryl ta come o'er 'ere an' dem'strate for us. But folks, one thin' it pays to be is prepared. I 'ave an art'ficial dipstick right 'ere in my big black chart case. Jew'l could yer strap this 'ere art'ficial dipstick on, just step into it an' buckle 'ere, sorry ... an' dem'strate to ever'one watchin' th' proper way to dip th' Auxil'ry Fuel Tank.

So, in conclusion, if'n yer ev'r wan'a know 'ow much avgas yo' airplane should 'ave, and you don' feel like pag'n throu' th' book, an' yer don' don't feel like crawlin' out onto th' wing to read it, jus' remember our tattoos. Edna an' Jew'l, their pussy tattoos say "210 Gallons US, 80/87 Octane" an' my cute lil tattoo 'ere says "201 Gallons US," now don't that make it easy ta r'member?

Af'er th' class, all male flight crew pers'nel can see Jewel 'bout borrowin' th' company credit card to pay for thar tallywacker dipstick tattoos, female flight pers'nel can cum, - a couple times prob'ly - after seein' me to obtain an art'ficial dipstick, an' a pussy tattoo. Maybe two, or 'eck, if'n yer cute 's jus' as many's yer want.