Paths of Glory

The woods were calm that spring day. The time of year when birds sing pretty songs - a time of beauty.

The two warriors, Karn Lets Suckoff and Leo Bendoverforus, had been at war. Their ragged appearance betrayed a day of bloody hell as they wearily rode their faithful steeds down a sun soaked trail. It would not be long before the need for rest would take its toll on man and horse, and drag their spent and battered bodies into the plush greenery below. These were hard men, even if their hands enjoyed straying occasionally over one another's saddle-hardened bottoms.

Not far off, Martin Perfumus, and his fierce-tempered concubine 
to-be bride, Emanuel Smasher, were frolicking by the stream as Rainbow finch filled the spring air with merry song. Little did the perfumed pair know that nearby lurked the most gruesome of
 creatures. This creature was a man with arms and legs and a penis, as men are, but he could not be called a man, for his breath was vile and his deeds were said to be low like the bowels of Lucifer. Kerry Cuntox eyed the love drunk pair like a born-again Christian eyes a quiet suburban street.

"Emanuel do you take I, Martin Perfumas, to be my", but before he
could complete this final act of love, pure, and driven by all that is sweet like a plump pair of breasts, Kerry came to them like a seagull to a prawn - even his ghastly stench was not enough to warn Martin of the oncoming attack. And so he lay, trapped under the weight of Kerry, and caught by the fumes of his anus, Martin fought for his life, and his love.

Karn Lets Suckoff began to insert his manhood, but Leo Bendoverforus objected - "no I don't want to"! Their quarrels were always fierce, but bathed in thick passion, and later they would always come together. Today, however, they would not blow one another, for the cry of help, ringing throughout the forest like a tortured lingering soul, was upon them. So strong were the fighting instincts of the warriors, they would have to explore each other's anus later.

As he began to fade into another world, Martin heard the sound of hooves and trumpets. "Be gone lecherous fiend - to the pit from where you spewed into this world of men, be gone"! The brave warriors knew not fear, but nothing, not even the fabled battle of Poof, could have prepared them for what would lay ahead. With the speed of a viper Kerry reared his ghoulish head, saw his menacing foe bearing down, and raised his anus. Like the slithering tongue of a serpent, one stream of filth after another shot from it and met the unassuming, unsuspecting noble faces of Karn and Leo. The stricken warriors, blinded by the moist, brown, shapeless substance, plummeted downward and landed face first in the mud. Not bow or sword was this weapon that struck them. It did not cut or pierce, but rather, it fumigated, and all seemed lost as the brave and traveled men lay writhing like a pair of wounded beasts.

The sneering, victorious face of Kerry was all too much for the ill-tempered Emanuel - she had to act. Not only was it the foul odor of his anus this day, but it was also his wretched timing. From the first day she gazed upon Martin and his perfumed ways - wearing pantaloons in the noble court as the royal male strumpet, she became smitten. Yet, not until this day, many years after, did her lover find the nerve to take her hand, but this was not be - due to the foul smelling creature before her.

Not only was Smasher short with her temper, but also her wits were sharper than the spear of Suckoff. She used her iron will to fight the stench that numbed her senses as she slid into a coma, and managed to reach for her lover's perfume pouch. From within she raised his all too familiar fragrance, 'flowers bloom', and commanded her limp arm to splash Kerry as he prepared his rumbling anus for the final evil stench that would send them all to hell.

For too long had Kerry dwelt in decay, so that his hide was host to a thriving carpet of mushrooms. As if scorched by it, the scented potion of Martin caused the creature's hide to smoke and crackle like a roasting pig. Like a whimpering hyena he cowered into the blackness of the woods as the burning fury shot a path of fire up his sphincter.

And so it was that after all, this spring day of birdsong, they would live. Martin Perfumas would take his diamond, Emanuel Smasher, and the warrior, Karn Lets Suckoff, would travel deep with his companion, Leo Bendoverforus, on journeys dark, up mysterious paths, and on into the darkness.