(Set in England)
Ernie Trump awoke at dawn and reached for his old friend called Erection and sighed. He'd much prefer reaching for an already warmed pussy conveniently beside him only a few finger widths away.
His mind suddenly clicked with the obvious solution.
Now that he lived alone in the family house -- his parents having limped off to geriatric heaven at a retirement village housing people too lazy to keep on working -- he should invite a female to move in with him.
That suggested curly questions:
What sort of female?
What if she wished to also install her cats in his home, um all five of them? The problem was his dog had been trained to eat cats to improve the world environment.
Was it possible to find a female around his age of 28 with big tits and small butt?"
There was only one toilet in the house and that was in the bathroom. Would he ever get to use the toilet and bathroom?
Who would provide her living costs and general financial support?
If she became pregnant would she go quietly and re-join her parents to receive the support she'd need?
Christ, the questions were never-ending. Perhaps it would be better to ask a guy to move in with him.
What sort of guy?
Oh jeepers, the questions loomed with greater complexity. One advantage the guy wouldn't get pregnant but neighbours might no longer be friendly. Oh if his sister promised to never speak to him again that would be listed as a huge advantage as she was breaking her neck to get her family into the house now they her husband had upgraded to a younger model.
Yes it made better sense to install a female and to choose one who loved doing the washing and lawns, broke into song when ironing and accepted it was her role in life to cook. The size of her tits should be pushed way down the list of considerations.
What about floppy tits. Nah he was getting ahead of himself.
At the pub on Friday night Ernie played his hand.
"Thelma would you like to move in with me?"
Conversation in their group of nine skidded to a halt and all eyes were on Thelma who rose to the occasion magnificently.
"Why?"
Ernie was left speechless. Christ if she didn't know why she had no right to responding to such a question.
Flighty Pauline, always the one to become pissed first, tickled Ernie under the chin and said "Oh Diddum's is missing cuddling a fat hairy pussy now that his mum has gone to live in Retirement Village austerity.
Her husband Nathan, a jealous bastard, told Pauline to stop dribbling and cover more of her tits. Nathan still simmered over failing to get into Oxford to study
Animal Rights & Their Historical Exploitation by Humans
got his 3rd Class degree from a northern university that was embarrassed by the low number of applications and he was the only student that year enrolled for a science degree in