Ogg The Caveman

Ogg looked over at the setting sun and realized that he was horny. At least that's what he thought it was, he didn't really know as this was 64 million BC, and to his knowledge, digital clocks hadn't been invented yet.

Ogg looked for something to hump; all that he really wanted was something so that he could have a little release. He went over to a tree and started to try and hump that, his cock slowly going along the rough bark. It didn't take him long to realize that the bark wasn't the best thing for him top be rubbing against.

"Too many pointy things on branch, and Ogg's balls keep getting stuck in crook of stick" Ogg lamented to himself as he gingerly tried to pull himself out of his precarious perch without doing any further damage to himself.

So, Ogg carefully pulled himself away and went walking some more. He figured that there must be something else for him to try and use his dongalong (he called it that because he realized that it bobbed this way and that, going along wherever it wanted, willy nilly on its own accord).

"Hmm." Ogg thought to himself, "tree not such great idea, want to try something else." Ogg decided walked a little further.

A few miles later, there was a hole along the way, in the parched dry sand. It wasn't a big, gaping hole, just a little one that Ogg figured that it would be perfect for him to slip his cock into. Ogg studied the hole for a few seconds, and decided that the best course of action would be to bend down and straddle the hole, which he did., placing his cock into it.

Ogg had to admit that for the first second and a half, the hole was, very very comforting, and he slowly pulled his cock back out of the hole. He was just about to plunge it back in, when he realized that something wasn't feeling completely correct.

"Hmm." Ogg, rubbed his chin with a finger, pensive in thought, "there seems to be something in this hole." What Ogg hadn't realized in his haste to make himself feel good, was that he'd plunged his manhood directly into a nest of fire ants!

With a bloodcurdling yelp, Ogg pulled his winky out of the hole, to find that the length of flesh was now crawling with literally dozens of the insects that were taking every opportunity to nip and bite.

Ogg continued to scream for some time, trying to both beat off (quite literally) the ants and run to the nearest stream to get rid of the annoying insects at the same time.

Ogg sighed in contentment as he relaxed in the waters and watched as most of the ants that had latched on to his flesh were either running away from the drowning that he was giving them, or that they indeed had died in transit and were now floating to the surface.

Ogg had never felt better and leaned back on the bank, enjoying the cool water as it splashed over him. He decided to take a few test walks on the ocean floor, as he had not taught himself how to swim yet.

Ogg was lying in the water, minding his own business, when suddenly he felt something brush along his inner thigh. The feeling was quite new to him, and Ogg had to admit that he kind of enjoyed the feeling, his cock rapidly growing from the touch and then shrinking back from the coolness of the water.

All of a sudden Ogg screamed again, as he shot up out of the water, much to his stunned amazement, there was a giant carp fastened onto his cock.

Ogg quickly bashed the fish in the head with his club that was nearby. The fish splashed to the water, and Ogg wondered why the fish had even fastened onto him to begin with.

Of course, Ogg was a primitive and had little understanding of fish dietary supplements or the fact that his penis bore an uncanny resemblance to a worm. The good thing was that Ogg had dinner; the bad thing was that Ogg's cock still hurt.

With one hand Ogg took his catch with him, holding the dead fish by the tail and swinging it over his shoulder for easier carrying. With the other, Ogg carefully cradled his poor abused testes.

Ogg waws in terrible pain by now, what after having tried to mate with a tree, and been bitten by a fish, all that the poor caveman wanted to do was to try and ease some of the [pain that he was having.

He saw a tree that seemed to have some sort of soothing balm on it. He'd noted that Googon the Healer had once applied something on his arm when he'd accidentally reached into the fire for his yak meat… he still couldn't figure out why his hand had hurt so bad, it was a wonder to him.

Yet, he did remember the salve that Googon had used, and figured that he should try to replicate it.

So with eager pride and hopefulness, Ogg slapped his aching private parts directly onto the tree, directly into the mass of sticky sap residue. Ogg felt wonderfully, his penis was no longer hurting him and he had a colossal fish for his dinner.

Yet, when Ogg tried to pull himself free, he realized too late that the sap had hardened quite suddenly in the moring sun, and he was stuck fast to the tree.

He could hear a low rumble and hoped that it was rain, but as he heard the hiss of the nearby waterfall, and felt the steam around him, he knew that the nearby volcano – Mount Wakanaki, though Ogg just thought of it as a fiery rock - was going to erupt at any moment.

Ogg's remains have yet to be found.