Mom Gave Me A Blowjob

Editor's note: this story contains scenes of incest or incest content.

Authors note: This is a satire. It is not meant to be sexually stimulating.

***

So my Mom gave me a blowjob yesterday.

No big deal. I have no clue why everyone is so pissed off, it's just a blowjob for Christ's sake. It's not like I fucked her or something.

I can just hear all of you bitching right now. "Ewww that's incest."

Whatever. Don't try to tell me you never thought about blowing your salty slugs down your mom's throat. Or your sister.

If I had a sister I'd have her blowing me too. Unless she was a pig or something.

I don't know any women anyway. I'm 29 years old and I kinda live in my mom's basement because I got fired from my job (again).

Mom doesn't mind, I clean up the house and shit sometimes, and I wear headphones so I don't make a ton of noise while I'm playing video games. Which I'm doing most of the day.

It's not that I wouldn't like to know some women, but shit, you say three words to a woman and they're all like hashtag me too and shit. It's just not worth the effort. It's easier to jack off.

And I do, three or four times a day.

Sometimes I look at porn when I'm whacking it, but usually I just think about my mom's tits.

My mom's tits are fucking awesome. They're big and round and they bounce and sway from side to side when she doesn't wear a bra. The best part is her nipples. She's like 50 years old and they still stick straight out.

I don't think she knows I've seen 'em bare, my hiding place is pretty good.

Anyway, I do the laundry a lot since I ain't got a job and sometimes I get her panties and put 'em on my head, with the crotch right on my nose so I can smell her juice, and then I put my dick between the cups of her bra and jack my dick till I spooge on it.

Then it goes right in the washer an' nobody needs to know, capiche?

Well, today I'm jacking away, almost ready to blow my load and who do you think walks in on me? Mom.

I thought she was gonna shit.

"What the fuck is this?" she says, as if she don't know.

Then she laughs.

"Do you know how fuckin' stoopid you look with my panties on your head?"

I'm too scared to say anything right about now, then I notice mom is staring at my cock.

"Where'd you get that big thing? Certainly not from your father!" she said with a laugh. She walks over and just grabs it and gives it a squeeze.

Well I'll tell ya, it had deflated pretty quick when she walked in on me, but that brought it right back up to size in about one second.

"This thing's fucking huge" she whispered to herself, starting to jerk it up and down a little bit.

OMG her hand felt so much better than mine. I didn't mean to but I laid back on the couch and moaned a little bit.

"Oh you like that!" she said with a little laugh.

"Well you're gonna love this" she whispered real softly, then got down on her knees and pulled the head of my cock into her mouth.

I almost blew my load right then.

She starts moving her head up and down on my root, taking a good three or four inches in at a time, real slow while she rolls my balls around in her hand.

Lemme tell ya, it was fuckin' awesome, kicked back on the couch in the basement with my mom chowing on my cock and one of her big firm tits in my wanking hand. I was having a good time beating off with her bra and panties, but this was crazy good.

All of a sudden, I start blowing my load. Mom is trying to pull her head off but I'm holding it down. She's all gagging and stuff and my jizz is pouring out of her mouth all over my balls.

And that's when my step dad walked in.

Lemme tell ya, everything turned to shit right then.

Mom is coughing up my goo, I'm grabbing my pants, and my stepdad is like chasing me saying he'll kill me, only he's fat and has bad knees so he's never gonna catch me.

I got out of the house OK, but I forgot my keys and my phone.

So I bounce over to my friend Ethan's house and we played video games till I fell asleep on his couch.

The next day after my stepdad went to work I headed back home.

All my shit was in a box on the doorstep with a note that said "you don't live here anymore."

Well I guess there's no way I'm gonna finesse this. Fucking great.

Now I gotta go live with my dad and he's all like "Get a job" and shit. He don't even have an Xbox. Hell, he don't even have Nintendo.

All my life people told me I can be whatever I want to be.

Well, what I want to be is a guy who plays video games and jacks off all day. And thanks to my stupid stepdad, I can't be that anymore.

IHML.