I hate my fucking job. Fucking airports! Damn I hate them, too! Can't smoke on the airplane, sit on the damn tarmac for hours, always late everywhere, lose the fucking bags, no end to it.
Surly fucking counter people with the standard answer of "There is nothing I can do." drive me nuts.
Then stand in line while some ugly fucker sticks a wand up my ass because my belt buckle sets off the little buzzer.
If they would get their heads out of their asses they would set them all the same. At Portland it's like nobody gives a shit, I go right through with a wave, but hit Dallas and some broad that can't speak english is looking at me like I am up to something. Next thing I know I am standing there with my legs spread while being pretty much molested.
My last trip to Dallas was hilarious, though. I had gone outside to smoke, then had to run the gauntlet to get back in. A bit on the chunky side woman right in front of me tripped the buzzer, they dragged her off to the side. I patiently waited my turn, figuring I would get it too. I wasn't in any hurry though, I knew it was around 110° outside and the humidity was about 100%.
They stood the poor broad up with her hands in the air and her legs spread, the gal ran the wand up her legs and when it got to her crotch....?
BZZZZZZZZZZ!
She was looking right at me, she flushed then gave me a grin. I grinned right back, what the hell. I would have made a stab at her but I was already late for my meeting.
Besides, I somehow breezed right through the damn checkpoint, I noticed as I was gathering up my wallet and gear they had some little old lady in a wheelchair pulled over, poking her all over with the fucking wand.
I got my bags and got the fuck out of there.
I got to the meeting a full half hour late, the taxi driver spoke just enough english to manage to charge me 3 bucks extra for me having two bags instead of one.
I was happy to pay it and get away from him, he had just two speeds, wide open and full stop. After just two blocks I closed my eyes and had a word with God, I honestly didn't expect to survive the trip. I would have felt better if there had been more than just half a seat belt, I suppose I could have just hung onto it.
It was bad enough that I thought of turning him in, complaining. But his fucking name was three lines long on the ID card, I gave up. I paid him, getting a grin and a blast of booze and some kind of breath mint that smelled just like the used kitty litter I keep at home for my Cat that is sometimes there.
1800 miles on a fucking airplane, weather so hot I couldn't breathe, the company gave me an order just big enough to cover the plane ticket and maybe a hamburger. Fries extra, of course.
I was in a pissed off mood when I checked into the hotel.
The good part is the company I work for makes all the hotel arrangements, not much I can say about that since they pay the tab. But they don't exactly shoot for luxury.
So I wasn't surprised to see a fat guy behind the counter, sitting there picking his nose and sweating buckets. I managed to sign in, glancing back as I got on the elevator. He was still sitting there picking his nose.
The room was a surprise, it actually looked clean. I flopped down on the bed, undoing my necktie. Both sides of the bed rolled up at the edges, by then I didn't give a damn.
It was fucking hot! After a few minutes, I got up and tried to turn on the air conditioning, nothing. I played with it, holding my hand in front of the fan, I did manage to get it heating but it wouldn't blow cold. I gave up and just left the fan on, let it circulate some of the steam in the room. I opened the window, it went up about one inch and stopped.
I slept naked on top of the covers that night, the next morning I managed to get enough water to run out of the shower to get some of the sweat off of me..barely. It wouldn't spray, it just ran out in a trickle.
Real nice fucking place this was.
I dressed and went down to the hotel cafe. I had some eggs and toast, the eggs were sunny side up and well done, the toast black on one side and untouched on the other.
My mood wasn't getting any better. I looked over at the fat guy who was still on the counter, I began to think he lived there. He smiled and asked me if I was enjoying my stay, then went back to picking his nose.
I just grunted and went and hailed a taxi. This one was driven by a 35 or so year old fat broad, by the time we got to my meeting across town I was well versed in all of her ailments and up to date on her monthly cycle.
I handed her a twenty for the $16.85 fare and she grinned and said thank you and was gone before I could open my mouth.
The next meeting went pretty well, I got an order that actually made me a couple hundred bucks after everything was taken out, things were looking up. But the next stop was the following day, that meant back to the damned room with no air conditioning. I found a little cafe that actually did have air, had myself a glass of ice tea. Feeling a tad on the horny side, I hit on the 40 year old rather harrassed looking waitress and got shut down cold.
What the fuck, I really didn't give a shit. I did leave her a quarter for a tip. Then I jotted down $13.95 and a $2.50 tip in my meals ledger.
I did keep my eye out for a hooker, looking around in all directions, no such luck.
Refreshed a bit by the cold tea, I headed back to the hotel. That trip wasn't so bad, the driver was careful. Very careful. I think at one point he actually did hit 20 MPH but I wasn't sure.
I wanted to yell out, "Slow down Henry, you are going to kill us!" but he didn't look like he had any sense of humor so I just sat there. Besides, his name sounded like someone our government might be hunting so I thought it best to not get him upset.
I flopped on the bed, lay there sweating. Finally I stripped, got into the shower and got myself damp, that helped. I dried off and lay down naked on the bed. It didn't take long and I was asleep.
A thump woke me up.
I looked over at the door, saw the leading edge of a big cart loaded down with towels and soaps.