Welcome to a special Halloween episode of Literotica Sexual Theater 3000!
We embark from our houses dressed as goblins and princesses, filled with joy and merriment -- only to discover that there are no treats awaiting us, only the cruel trick that is this stinky story.
What do you get when you mix together the peanut butter of bitterness with the chocolate of pent up sexual need? Adrian -- the hunter, our loathsome and unbelievable protagonist in this woeful tale of witchery and juvenile fuck fantasy.
Grab a seat and dip into the complimentary bowl of candy. Fill up on candy corn until you're tweaking like Cornholio. Stay away from those peanut butter kiss things. I just know they've been sitting in the back room at Wal-Mart since last year, because nobody except those blue-haired old ladies that can't see over the dashboard of their Cadillacs is demented enough to buy them. I don't care if they say they're made of real peanut butter, they smell like old feet and have the same texture as plumber's caulk.
Err -- but I digress...
We've got Story Sign!
Turn down your lights.
(Where applicable)
***LST3K**********
I am the feared man. I am the hunter.
Dark: Goo goo ga joob!
My name is Adrian, and the sound of my battle cry
Dark: Gooooood morning Vietnam!
is the trumpet of retribution that lets witches know their life is at an end.
I devoted my life to destroying Satan's whores on the day that they took my beautiful wife. Stolen from our bed on All Hallows Eve, I was powerless to save my Rachel. Paralyzed by their magic, I could only watch as they turned their foul spells upon my love.
In horror, I struggled in vain against my invisible bonds as the whores peeled away my Rachel's clothes. They laughed at me as their evil magic made her touch them, to suck their tits and lick their cunts. Tears rolled down my cheeks as she moaned in ecstasy, the beautiful sounds that should have been for me alone taken away and turned to an abomination.
Dark: Wow, homophobic much?
My last sight of the woman I loved was her leaned over to kiss me, an evil grin twisting her face that was covered in the juices of the witches. When I awakened, they were gone, my Rachel with them.
I am powerless no more.
I trained my body and my mind, studying the occult to learn how to battle their magic. Now I am a weapon, perfect in physical form and unstoppable.
Dark: Able to leap my own towering ego in a single bound!
I'm stalking prey tonight -- dangerous prey. At long last, I've tracked down one of the devil's concubines that took away my Rachel. At long last, I'll be able to destroy one of those who destroyed the life I knew.
Dark: At long last, I've found a clever turn of phrase that I plan to abuse as much as possible!
Halloween. Witch season.
Dark Duck: Rabbit Season!
Dark Bunny: Duck Season!
Dark Duck: Rabbit Season!
Dark Bunny: Rabbit Season!
Dark Duck: Duck Season!
*BLAM*
Dark Duck: You're dispicable!
I'll have my revenge tonight.
Dark: Do you have to take it out on us with this awful story too?
It's the perfect night to hunt. The witches are distracted in their black rituals, taking advantage of the evil inherent in this night. The naive roam about the town in merriment, celebrating Satan's holiday with absolutely no knowledge of the power they give him in their revelry. The witches, the dead, and the vampires walk amongst them unnoticed, just another person in a costume to those who don't know any better.
Dark: Or maybe -- just maybe -- they actually are people in costumes, and you are a complete nut-job!
In the light of the full moon, I take in the witch's lair as the time to strike draws near. The house is a two story Victorian, well-maintained and supposedly passed down for generations from mother to daughter. I could barely contain my rage upon seeing the witch passing out candy to children the night through. How I wished that I could warn the foolish parents sending their precious youth to that house of sin, knowing the evil that the witch's foul concoctions would visit upon them. To do so would have revealed my presence too soon. Though it pained me, I had to hope that God would intervene to save those children, even as I prepared to save future generations.
Dark: Beware the fun-sized Snickers bars of Lucifer!
I can feel the evil building as midnight approaches. It is in the precious hour before the Devil's bell chimes that witches are at their most vulnerable. It is then that I will strike. I glance down at my watch, only one minute remaining.
Dark: I hum the Jeopardy theme, thinking that it sounds an awful lot like "I'm a little teapot." Tip -- me over and pour... Me... Out. Dum Dum!
At long last, it's time.
Dark: Ding! That's number three, for those of you playing along at home.
I rise up from behind the concealing bushes, striding confidently across the street toward my goal. The witch will be in the ecstasy of her magic, she will never know I'm coming until it's too late.
As I step onto the porch, I feel as though I've been transported back in time. The evil permeating the wood is ancient -- hungry. I know the rusty color of the stain for what it is, the blood of innocents sacrificed to Satan in return for the witch's power.
Dark: Damn, all those magical powers and witches still have to stain their deck every year? What's the point of selling your soul to Satan?
The lock opens with only a few deft twists of my lockpicks. The door opens without a sound on well-oiled hinges.
Dark: The neighbors dial 911 when they see the creepy guy who just crawled out of their bushes breaking into the house across the street.
I can hear the chanting as soon as I open the door. Waves of evil pound against me like the relentless tides against the shore, threatening to erode my resolve into soft sand. I've done this before. I'm ready, and I'm stronger than the forces arrayed against me. I am the hunter, and my prey is near.
I feel the witch's wards brushing against me, the invisible strands of power like a thousand spiders crawling on my flesh. I want her to know I'm here. I want her to feel the fear.
Dark: This painful rhyming is really stabbing right into my ear!
Her chanting ceases as I close upon her. I can see the glow of flames dancing in the doorway. I step confidently into the unsteady glow, at last
Dark: Ding! That's four!
beholding the terrible, beautiful face of the whore who had bewitched my dear Rachel once more. My manhood twitched in anticipation as I stared at her perfect body, clad only in hellish runes drawn in blood.
"You," the blonde bitch purred, and then laughed. "Do you really think I'll be such easy prey? I will be exalted above all others when I deliver you to my evil Master." I felt her charming magic wash over me, repelled by my discipline and the charms I carried. "Come to me," she commanded in a sultry gasp, arching her back to thrust her breasts toward me.
"It is your body that Satan will claim this night, to join your soul in hell!"
Dark: Cue dramatic anti-hero theme!
Realizing her charm had failed, she scowled and hurled a potion vial at me. I stood resolute, confident in my ability and my own protective magic to sustain me.
Dark: Hey, wait a minute -- she's naked. Where was she hiding that potion? Err... On second thought, I don't want to know.
The smoke of her potion rose up around me, and I blinked slowly as it dissipated, letting the corners of my mouth curl up into a smile. "I am the hunter. I never rest. Your sleep potion is useless against me."
With a defiant cackle, she snatched up her broom and soared toward the high ceiling.
Dark: Oh pahleez! ::Laughing hysterically at the cliché:: "Snatched up her broom?" Is that a clue to where she was hiding the potion? ::Ducks::
Hovering well out of my reach, she continued to cackle as her hands worked through the gestures of her fell magic. I pulled my bola from my belt and let it fly, simultaneously binding her hands and hurling her from her magical perch at the same time. She struck the wall with a cry of surprise and pain, a sound echoed even louder as fell to the floor.
I was upon her even as the foul magic that sustained her through the centuries knitted her bones and rent flesh, the sound like the slithering of snakes mixed with cracking bone. Dropping to my knees to straddle her waist, I grasped her bound hands and thrust them over her head. Trapped beneath my muscled body and held tight in my unbreakable grip, I at last
Dark: Ding! Gimme five!
saw the fear I desired in her eyes. Holding her wrists pinned to ground with one hand, I used the other to tear open the buttons on my dark pants, freeing the only weapon that could destroy a witch.
Dark: ::Double Take:: Say what?! I shall slay her with the Phallus of Phantoozler!
"No!" The witch cried, her nipples stiffening and her cunt moistening even as she writhed in terror. As a hundred times before, she was powerless to resist me. Aiming my mighty weapon of retribution, I thrust it into her cunt with a violent shove.
Dark: Mighty weapon of retribution? ::Laugh:: Fear the Footlong Dong of Vengeance! Quiver in the presence of the Powerful Prick of Power!
"No," she squealed again, the sound turning to a moan of ecstasy as I stretched her cunt wide, my cock filling the void left within her for a year. Her body relaxed beneath me, surrendering to the pleasure overwhelming her.
Dark: Anyone else get the impression he's compensating for something here, hmm?
Her legs parted of their own accord, her body seeking the pleasure she desired -- and feared -- above all else. Grasping her thighs, I pounded my cock into her cunt, trying to ignore the look of ecstasy on her face, the bouncing of her ample breasts, and her cries of bliss.
"Oh no! Oh yes! Stop! Don't stop!" she cried out in strange dichotomy as I drove her toward the inevitable. When I felt her cunt clamp down around me and she screamed in release, I knew it was over. I jammed my cock into her one final time and spewed my seed into the witch's quivering caldron.
