The author of the original story has given me permission to spoof his story, The Tale of Benjamin Royson. The story is unaltered from how it appears on Lit, except for the addition of my commentary. Check out
Sean Renaud's work
here on Lit, and be sure to thank him for kindly donating this tale for me to slice and dice mercilessly!
Be warned that the original story is a father/daughter taboo tale.
Now, without further ado, welcome to Literotica Sexual Theatre 3000!
Turn down your lights
(Where applicable)
* * LST3K * * * * * * *
I remember this story because it includes one of my favorite little sluts, Trish the Dish on her second outing.
Trish the Dish? This isn't starting out well at all. Something goofy this way comes.
This tale isn't about her though, it is about her father. Poor, unfortunate, sex starved Benjamin Paul Royson.
Esquire!
There is a man that I have always pitied. No man ever deserves to be put through a life nearly devoid of sex. I guess I could commend him on his strength. Most men wouldn't have had the will power to remain true to his vows but he only broke his vows twice in twenty-two years of marriage, both on the same day.
Benjamin Paul Royson,
A pretentious name so great, it deserves a second mention!
Benny had been the popular jock in school. He was on both the football and basketball teams from his sophomore year through to graduation. He dated all the most popular girls and worked at the gas station.
That's how he got through all the popular girls. As soon as they found out he worked at the gas station, they dumped him!
In his junior year he bought his first car, a '67 Chevy Impala Super Sport off white with tan leather interior.
In his senior year, he bought his first inflate-a-date with an off-centered mouth that looked a great deal like granny from The Beverly Hillbillies.
After high school he'd gone to the University of Southern California to play football for the Trojans. He'd been majoring in Nutrition planning to return to Mobile Alabama and coach football at his old high school one day.
Because we all know nutritionists make the best football coaches!
During those years he'd met Victoria Laura Hamner, the proverbial girl next door.
I'm kinda starting to like this, from now on I shall be known as Jonathon Whizza Lott!
The first time he saw her she was up on a pedestal with the debate team. She was the only woman fighting against the feminist movement of her classmates. (God made woman to accompany and serve man, it wasn't their place to question his will.) He couldn't believe his ears, (he said much the same thing as did his father before him)
And his father, and his father's father, and his father's father's father, twice removed.
but more so he couldn't believe his eyes.
Speaking of eyes, are all the parentheses starting to make anybody else's go crossed?
Victoria was a stunning woman at twenty-three. She still wore the long plain skirts and loose blouses like her mother and many of the teachers did, shunning the miniskirt and the tight tops that many of her peers wore. She didn't perm or die her hair, she didn't paint her nails or wear make up. (God had given her an appearance that was pleasing to His eye and she needed please no other.)
Danger, Danger, Will Fastidious Robinson!
It didn't matter. Plain clothing and simple hairstyles only enhanced her natural beauty giving her a homely look that Benny couldn't resist. (Not that I blame him. God has been amongst my favorite artists for sometime now.)
Aaaaatack, of the killer parentheses! Aaaatack, of the killer parentheses!
Benny had been with a handful of girls before Victoria, and though he'd never gotten serious (he was a technically still a virgin, (a few hand and blow jobs non-withstanding.)
We go back to the gas station job for an explanation of this
The parentheses are nesting now! They're mating! Run away!
he was impure in the eyes of the Lord according to Victoria. It took him six months to convince her that he had atoned for his sins enough for her to seriously speak to him again. Their first date had been to the Church of the Holy Cross where they had shared Communion.
Administered by Father Simon Belmont
He couldn't get enough of her proposed to her that evening.
All the parentheses, and we can't get an
and
or a comma?
(Any normal man would have run, Benny wasn't the sharpest knife I grant you.)
Speaking of sharp knife, does anyone have one?
She accepted and they were married.
Frigid zealot for sale, any offer accepted!
They had skipped the honeymoon at Victoria's request, insisting that the tradition was just a barbaric ritual men had invented. She could find nothing in the Bible that insisted on a weekend being spent consummating the marriage. They had been married an entire month before they had even attempted to procreate (Victoria didn't allow dirty language in her home insisting it "sex" be referred to as procreation, or knowing each other. Dick, pussy, cock, and tits were also forbidden words. Penis, vagina and breast (Breasts by the way have nothing to do with "knowing" each other and thus were not to receive special attention during the act)
Hey we lost one closing parentheses there, maybe we're getting somewhere!
were the only acceptable ways to refer to these organs while in her presence. She refused to give him hand or blow jobs or to even think about the forbidden act of anal as there was no way to get pregnant from any of these acts. (She did promise to suck him as often as he liked if the scientific community found cases of girls getting pregnant through the act.)
Thank heavens religious zealots are so accepting of scientific findings, or this would be completely unbelievable
Their first experience together had taken almost two hours. Most of it was showering, cleansing the mind and body and praying for God to bless their union. The actual act had lasted less than five mundane minutes of Benjamin atop his wife knowing her. They repeated the act less than a dozen times before conceiving the bundle of joy that would become Patricia.
DING! Kid's done!
Victoria only wanted one child so her pregnancy marked the end of what sex life Benjamin had.
He spent the next twenty years buried in his work trying his best not to think about the things he was missing in life. The idea of cheating on his wife was constantly on his mind though he would never admit it. Every girl that passed by him, or magazine cover with some scantily clad woman caught his attention for hours thoughts of sex would dance in his mind.
Sex probably did the riverdance in this guy's head, or maybe the Hokey Pokey
Most recently and disturbing though was Patricia whom he found himself staring at as she passed by him in the home.
Ouch! Mangling the language like a berserker on angel dust here!
She was his daughter and he knew he would go to Hell just for the thoughts he had of his daughter.
