Love Potion #69

Okay, here it is ... the story of Love Potion #69!

See Cupids go through the academic ritual of learning, as in most fields. Yes, I said Cupids meaning plural. The population explosion has quadrupled the need for little Eros's. (Cupids)

The University of Aphrodite (Love) has many fields of expertise such as Angels, Cupids and Muses. Mending broken hearts, love potions and spells. Archives of Birth Records and notation of sex sprites are recorded (Sex sprites are flashes of energy radiated in the universe any time any one has sex). Along with research and development to enhance the feelings, strength, quality and length of love.

Well Cupid #16969 fucked up, big time, excuse my language. Over in the 'Eros' building, on the second floor, in room 216, Cupid #16969 was practicing for the test, again. Cupid #16969 has been unable to pass this part of the finals exam several times now. Cupid was melting the formula of 'lovethenext', the solution that arrows are dipped in that makes people fall in love, when shot by a Cupid with one of these highly technical and very well balanced tips dipped in this formula. This is a basic requirement for becoming a full fledged Cupid, a hurdle yet to be hurdled by Cupid #16969. The precise measurement of each element must be correct or one may love another more, not exactly mutual could cause the relationship to fizzle or may even become abusive from frustration and they will not even know why. Hummm ... I wonder!

Anyway, this simple chemistry procedure went south quickly. An interned flask cloaked the proper formulated solution and Cupid #16969 inadvertently mixed love potion #9 with lust potion #6 and a couple drops of 'instant lust' and ... well, BLAMMY! Explosion maximus umungus. The unison of these compounds mushroomed a smoke cloud then sizzled and festered into a floating, reddish pink, gaseous substance and began to spread through-out the University. Have you any idea the chaos this started. Let me tell you...

A slight draft in the room drew the reddish cloud of formula right out the second story window. Two innocent squirrels were sitting on a branch near the open window and got it first. They looked like a black and white spinning, hypnotizing wheel, going round and round.

Cupid #16969 was knocked unconscious and lay on the floor below the gas path. Liquid oozed from the walls and a broken beacon on the floor but other than that no real harm ... yet.

The breeze spread this reddish love/lust potion like a blanket over the campus lawn. Two people coming out of the administration building were engulfed in its wake and the gas went right through the awestruck students and the held open door. Through the offices this fog rolled like it had a destination, rolling along the floor all the way to the Deans office.

The two students that were hit by the wave of the red fog immediately began kissing and grasping at each other. In a frenzy of passion they pulled tugged and removed their clothing enough to ... experiment. This fast acting formula had you horny as a sailor after a six-month sail, in a matter of milli-seconds.

He and She became 'Them' as they pressed into one another with such force I anticipated their melting into one another and becoming one big orgasm. They fell to the ground as if they were computer programed and began ... ravaging one another. Feasting upon each other's ... happy meal! Sixty-nine! Or ninety-six however you want to put this equation, this was serious!

The fog of 'love/lust' spread throughout the building like a smoke filled bar. A few coughs rang out but kisses, panting and moans soon drowned them out. Professors in their offices were over run and sexually grasped by secretaries. Administrators, clerks and even the janitor was seen closing the closet door with Mrs. Valentine (the Head Chairwoman for the Cupids dept.) pulling him towards her hiked up legs.

Even the various plants around the building seem to reach out further and vine wrap around other plants, hugging. The temperature in the fish tank, in the lobby, seemed warmer and the fish were 'very very' active.

Cupid #16969 started to come around slowly dazed from the concussion blast of the formula mixture. Staggered about the room for a moment, gained composure then began cleaning up the mess. Unaware that the gas of 'love and lust' vented out the window and rain down on the campus like the overwhelming scent of a 'honey-bucket' truck.

While twin body rolls and crashes were assaulting the furniture in the administration building, Cupid #16969 cleaned up the mess relatively quickly and began to conduct the experiment again. Needless to say while bodies slapped together everywhere Cupid #16969 assumed there had been no recourse from the mishap, yet.

Cupid #16969 inspected everything carefully and began the experiment again. The first compound was relatively simple a precise measurement of love potion #9 and then a mixture of 'illusion of luv' and a splash of 'passion' dust. Well, this stupid Cupid misread and almost poured some 'disillusioned' solution into the experiment.

Lucky for Cupid #16969 the two squirrels sprang through the open window in a feisty chasing 'Catch me if you can' they sprint across the floor and up on the counter and ran past Cupid, who was smiling at the cute fur balls, playful chatter and scamper.

These two tree rodents caused the biggest mess of all knocking over equipment and crashing glass of flasks and containers that fell in their wake. The multiple compounds and mixtures mingled and smoldered. Fumes upon fumes of smoke bellowed and grew as more puffed up here and there. White clouds and black clouds mixed with blue gas and red fog. Growing and growing building and building, while Cupid #16969 just stood there in awe with mouth wide open...

"Oh ... my ... God!" Cupid #16969 mumbled as the room became filled with this multi colored cloud, rumbling and rolling into itself. The gas over took Cupid #16969, swallowed'em up whole. The smoke was venting out the window as the squirrels quickly exited. But the growing and building up smoke was overwhelming. A few light coughs in the dense mixture and then silence.

The Dean was a wild man; he was ... having his way with Miss Donaldson and one of the students. All three were naked as a jaybird, wallowing around the office floor like they were playing a game of naked twister. The sounds of slapping flesh upon flesh rang out all through the building offices. Desks were mere props for bent over bodies and ramming lust thrusts. Filing cabinets rocked as pounding love humps were exchanged against its brace

If one person looked at another, they were like magnets, all over each other like syrup over pancakes then 'BAM' the sixty-nine mode kicked in and the lapping began. The situation was a catastrophe. And it didn't look as though it was going to get any better, any sooner.

In fact the lobby of the administration building was beginning to look like a Roman orgy. Clothes were strung from one end of the building to the next. Naked people rolling around over and under other naked bodies. A frenzy of lapping tongues and gripping fingers. Hot breaths and panting like ... well, dogs in heat. The reddish fog dissipated but the madness continued.

Well miraculously or should I say, destiny played it's trump card. The second strange gas mixture that engulfed Cupid #16969 increased Cupid's intellect by three folds. In a twister of knowledge and exceptional physical speed, Cupid # 16969 began a series of flames that consumed the smoke and cleared the room. Quickly as a learned Professor, Cupid whipped up an antidote and administered a reversal compound.

Cupid #16969 cleaned the room and made a batch of 'lovethenext' potion like a professional Cupid. The once stupid Cupid ... was now the most intelligent Cupid known to this date. Cupid #16969 went on to earn the wings of a full fledge Cupid. And made Halo statis faster than any one to this date. Now Cupid #16969 teaches chemistry at Aphrodite University. Cupid #16969 never told any one about the mishap. How did I find out about it? I met two very affectionate and talkative squirrels, which act like rabbits.

As for the red cloud that came from the first blast caused from the experiments? Well, no body knows for sure why ... but everybody loves everybody at A.U. (Aphrodite University). Cupid #16969 was awarded the Congressional Metal of Love with the credited discovery of ... love potion #69 and the love pill, Viagra.