"Yes, of course, I swallow. What he Hell else am I supposed to do with cum after I've sucked it out of someone's cock?" She stuck out her chest and beamed me a wide smile. "I'm not a spitter. I'm a proud swallower. It would be insulting and gross to spit out someone's love juice."
Love juice. She calls cum love juice. If that's not so Kathy, then I don't know what is. I was dizzy thinking of giving Kathy some of my love juice. Oh, my God. I can't believe she calls cum love juice. She's my kind of woman.
I imagined serving her breakfast in bed every morning and instead of giving her a glass of orange or grapefruit juice, I just pulled out my prick and inserted it in her mouth and instead of asking her to squeeze, I asked her to suck. Here's your love juice, Honey. Make sure you swallow all of it. It's good for you and you need the protein.
Suddenly, I felt dizzy with the imagined lustful passion of Kathy sucking someone's cock and swallowing. Then, I imagined her sucking my cock, me cumming in her precious, perfect little mouth, and her swallowing my load. I couldn't remove the image of me shooting my load of love juice in her mouth and watching her swallow. Oh, my God. I imagined her tossing back her long, lush, blonde hair before leaning down to take me in her mouth while I fondled her magnificent tits and fingered her nipples.
I regained control of my emotions in time to see Joe move his hand to his lap again to cover his growing erection. Fortunately for me my papers covered my bulging cock.
"Freddie? Freddie, are you okay? You look a little pale?"
"What? Did you say something? Oh, I'm fine, Kath, I'm fine. I'm just gathering my thoughts. Let's continue with the test, shall we?"
Fuck, suddenly, I was talking like Michael Jackson or Mike Tyson in a high pitched voice. I coughed, took a sip of my beer, and regained control of my voice.
"Okay, I'm ready for your next question," she said giving me her best smile. "You two are total morons," she said laughing. "But this is fun and funny almost."
I stole another quick look of her panty and imagined my face buried between her shapely thighs before continuing with the next question. I wondered if her perfect pussy was bushy, trimmed or bald. I figured she was trimmed. I wondered what her pussy tasted like and I wondered what sounds she made when she had an orgasm. I figured her pussy tasted clean and fresh and she made cute little sounds. I wondered if she talked dirty in bed. I hoped she talked dirty in bed. I wondered what she looked like in her panty and bra. Wonderful. I wondered what she looked like naked. Unbelievable.
I imagined licking her and fingering her through her panty before peeling her saliva soaked panties off and sticking my tongue inside her while fingering her click and licking the length of her. She was so damn beautiful. She was so damn hot. She was so damn sexy. I'd do anything to make love to her. Yeah, I'd even suck her pussy if I knew she'd reward me by sucking my cock after. Finally, I got a hold of myself enough to ask her the next question.
"After you look at a man's face, do you look down at his package?"
"Yeah, sure, I guess, all women do," she said looking from me to Joe and back again. "Don't they? It's like guys looking at women's tits. Only, we don't stare and leer at men's bulges the way that you guys stare at our tits and asses. We're more subtle about it. Guys never see us looking, that is, unless we want them to see us."
Wow, I thought to myself, all this time, I thought women were admiring my belt buckle when instead they are checking out my cock. Now, that I know they are stealing peeks at my bulging cock, maybe somehow I can use that to my advantage and be more forward with those women who are checking me out. I never knew that about women.
"We're not here to judge you Kathy," I said, "but just to ask you the questions of the official, foolproof, lesbian test. May I remind you that this is a professional setting and all information received shall remain in the strictest of confidence? Trust me, as you would your doctor. Nothing leaves this room," I said with a straight face. "Your secrets are safe with me."
"Bullshit," she said. "And if it's part of the test, I'm not getting naked, so get that out of your dirty, mini minds. You two are retards," she said with a laugh. "But this test is fun and funny...a little. Alright, what else is there? I have things to do."
"Huh? Oh, sorry, I just have a few more questions," I said preoccupied with the thought of her getting naked.
I couldn't wait to e-mail my friends this test so that they could test their female friends and girlfriends. I imagined writing a book, the Ultimate Official Foolproof Lesbian Test Book, by Freddie. I imagined signing autographs for grateful women who couldn't wait to thank me in person and buy my book for proving that they are not lesbians, not that there's anything wrong with being lesbian. Only, they were relieved, happy even, that they weren't because they preferred not to be. They liked men.
I imagined women lining up in my private office waiting to pay me to give them their own, personal, private, official, foolproof lesbian test. Only, some women would rather be heterosexual and, as a public service, a paid public service, that is, if I can sacrifice my time and energy in helping them prove that they are not lesbians but heterosexual women, then so be it. I will live my life unselfishly in helping women discover their real sexuality and sexual orientation. In the name of science and for the benefit of every young and desirable woman is the reason why I begin my career path as a sex educator and researcher ala sex therapists everywhere. Dr. Ruth, I love you!
"Freddie, you're doing it again. You're daydreaming. Hello? Earth to Freddie."
"Sorry. Okay, here's the next question. Have you ever accidentally on purpose rubbed against a man's erection while in a crowded subway, an elevator, on a bus or in a department store at Christmas shopping rush?"
"Eww! No. Gross. Why would I do something like that?" Again, she looked from me to Joe and back again. "Is that what guys do? Do guys rub up against women hoping to get a cheap feel of their asses and/or tits? Is that what you guys do?"
"No, they only do that in Japan on crowded trains. We've never heard of guys doing that around here," I said hoping to deflect the topic of conversation back to her, but not until I gave Joe the official John Belushi Animal House raised eyebrow. "Okay, so far you've past the preliminary lesbian test. Congratulations. So far, on the surface and based on this exhaustive test, it's obvious that you're not a lesbian."
"That's it? See, I told you that I wasn't a lesbian," she said with a broad smile that made me want to kiss her. If I thought she was pretty before she smiled, she was even prettier when she smiled. She had a gorgeous smile.
"Wait, hold on, hold on, that was only the preliminary lesbian test," I said giving her my best professional looking face, as would a doctor give his patient. "So far, I'm fairly certain that you are not a lesbian, but you may have lesbian tendencies," I said nodding my head in a professional manner. "Now, I must give you the advanced part of the lesbian test to prove that you don't have lesbian tendencies and will not become a lesbian in the future."
"Oh, c'mon. You're not serious. This is foolish. How long will this take?"
