[Features: Genie, yaoi, gay, femboy, isekai, Literal Comedy theme, memes]
I was having a bit of a crummy day all said. It was suppose to be nice and relaxing, just me, hanging out, doing as I normally did, playing some games. A fun battle royale game and I did do that but after the second hour, I was starting to feel pretty annoyed at losing so much.
I put it down and it was like life just caught up to me all at once.
27, male, very slightly fat with flabby arms and a bit of a stomach, no real job prospects, just working at a minimum wage grocery store stocking shelves. My last relationship was 5 years ago and I literally hadn't gotten laid since. The closest thing I had was getting a bit closer to a few women online and either mutually masturbating or swapping nude pics with the few people who didn't really mind. It never really went anywhere and it was far and few in between at that. I was staying at a cheap, and shitty, studio, basically making enough for bills and a little bit extra.
My life was going nowhere fast, already was nowhere. Suicide had reared its ugly head on those particularly dark days but I think everyone has those days. They are just harder when you're alone for so long. I wasn't even sure I had friends. I had people I sometimes talked to online but, irl? Nothing. And those people were cool but there hadn't exactly been a lot of talk of us ever meeting up or anything like that. No, they were just online friends. Still, better than having absolutely nothing.
Sigh.
You'd think there'd be some grand realization, some clinching action, some final last moment or straw and maybe there would be. But it's been 5 years since I more or less arrived at this point. And truthfully, it didn't feel bad all the time. Which made it even worse. You can fight and escape a bad situation if it pushes you too far, theoretically. Most people just don't escape situations where they're comfortable and content. I had my moments, of sudden understanding, of trying to push myself to work out, to find a better job, to get a girlfriend.
It never worked out for long. I burnt out pretty quickly. Working out every day was exhausting, finding a new job felt like trying to move to a whole other country by this point, and as for a girlfriend? How. Seriously, how? I tried a dozen dating apps, and I looked alright, I even went as far as to look up tips and try and take better pictures and bios and used them all every day and, nothing. I started believing I was just horribly ugly or there was something wrong with me. It was only those super rare moments I had met a horny woman that had complimented my nude body that let me not sink into total despair. Well, usually.
And all anyone ever said was to "wait. It just kinda happens." and "not try so hard." I hated that advice more than anything else in the whole world. Waiting? Really? You plan on dying alone I guess. It had been 5 years and sitting on my ass had clearly not helped me suddenly get a loving girlfriend or even a friends with benefits or anything. You can't just wait and expect the world to finally give you what you want. Nothing else in the entire universe works like that. And as for not trying so hard, was I? I really didn't know. Sure, I was only multiple dating apps and I was trying but was that really too hard? Why not spread your chances as wide as possible? And that was all the advice I was ever given. "Wait, you can't force it, it just kinda happens." and "don't try so hard, you can't push it too much." Neither of those pieces of advice actually helped me get anywhere at all. I was in the dark. There was no one, there had been no one, that had ever told me the right way to accomplish what I wanted.
Sigh
"All I want is to be happy again."
I sat back in my chair... then fell to the ground.
Owwww.
What the fuck happened to my chair?
I blinked and looked around.
And began to nearly immediately panic, at a rapid pace.
My chair hadn't magically disappeared from underneath me, oh no. If only, really.
No.
I wasn't in my room anymore, at all.
All around me was a pretty decent, moderately sized, bedroom, with lots of anime figurines, posters, and etc etc all around. It looked like a rich otaku's wet dream. They weren't from any anime I'd ever heard of, no, that wasn't the only thing that drew my eye. They all sounded and looked absolutely ridiculous.
"Gut blaster the 5th prodigy."
A separate poster of a woman literally jacking off a futa. Who hands hentai posters in their room?
An anime figurine dressed in glass and with a honest to god speech bubble attached yelling "this isn't even my final destiny form!"
And everything seemed to more or less be in shades of white and pink. Not everything, everything, like some sorta horrible weird nightmare, but like the person's who room this was absolutely loved that specific color combination.
I slowly stood up and turned around and finally got a look at the other side of the room. I had only been looking in mostly a single direction. And I had to correct something about my earlier thought.
This was not a moderately sized bedroom at all. No, I hadn't landed in the middle, just near the desk and computer.
This was an absolutely massive bedroom the size of the "living room" of my studio apartment.
And as I turned around, my heart nearly froze in a combination of fear and confusion.
I don't know why, but I had figured I was alone. Maybe I was still reeling from, what, teleportation maybe? Who knows. But I was most certainly not alone. Standing in front of me were not 1, but 2 people.
The first seemed vaguely familiar. They had pink hair in an interesting, anime-esk style but it looked almost unnervingly natural. She had, of all things, a pink and white... school uniform? Definitely a Japanese school uniform. Pink skirt with white lines running through it, white shirt, pink uhh whatever the thing that goes over the neck and shirt is, a big pink bow on the front of it, and some black bows in their hair. They were, also, wearing white thigh-highs.
This girl had picked a theme and done her best to absolutely stick to it. She was thin and utterly flat chested. I nearly kicked myself for having my eyes pulled to that fact and moved on to the, arguably, much more interesting person in the room.
Because they had no legs.
Floating in front of me was the upper torso of a person, wearing nothing but a bra and various jewelry, with her lower half literally being smoke and coming from of all things, a lamp.
I was standing in front of an actual fucking genie. Was I? Was I really or had I been knocked out from that fall into this strange world?
I got my answer in probably the most ridiculous way possible.
"Master!"
That was what the pink-haired girl yelled at me, in jubilation, like they wanted to literally throw themselves at me, and my mind had nearly left the station trying to understand what the fuck was going on. I, of course, utter the single most useful phrase in the human language.
"What... the fuck?"
Belatedly, a small part of me recognized myself as being a bit hostile but a much much larger part of me was utterly confused and not in a real position to care.
The genie turned to me and I had a spike of fear wedge itself deep down around my chest.
She looked at me and winced, with a clearly guilty look on her face. Her next words did absolutely nothing to make me feel any better about what the fuck was going on.
"I am so, so sorry about this."
What the fuck, continued, again.
Before I could formulate a good, proper, response to whatever the hell all of this was, the pink-haired girl started talking again.
"Welcome to my world Master! I tried to freshen up the place. There's only a few acts of mass terrorism and they're all on the other side of the globe!"
What.
Before I could parse out that statement anymore, the.... Genie?... started talking, looking pained.
"Look, you deserve an explanation. You're kinda, here by, accident?"
"An... accident?"
"He's not here by accident!" The girl said and literally pouted and puffed up their cheeks. I swear, they were starting to go from vaguely, to incredibly familiar and I just could not place it.
