This is a sequel to "I Can Explain", a very funny story written by my friend RPSuch. It is written with his permission. Please read his story first, as this won't be clear at all without knowledge of that story. Also, those of you who have read my other stories will think I've lost my mind, more so than usual.
Ever since the events my wife Sandy narrated in "I Can Explain", I have been having some problems managing to do the field experiments that are needed to give a realistic understanding to the events I try to portray in my writing. I knew my story on infidelity would be both physically and emotionally accurate if only I could fill out the gaps in my experience. After all, as I told Sandy a number of times, "You have to live it to understand it."
I had all the information I needed on the female reaction to finding one's spouse in bed with someone else. Indeed, Sandy must have thought I had missed parts of it, as she never seemed to tire of repeating the way she felt that night. In fact, I finally had to assure her I had no need to listen to her discussion of that night any more and she was wasting my time by bringing it up again. What I needed were the gut reactions of the male. I had depended on Gloria to provide those from interviewing her husband after he arrived.
However, Gloria was no help at all. I suppose I should have known that after she called hysterically that same night, telling me Doug had thrown her out of the house. I had asked her if she had managed to take any notes on his reactions but she kept bursting into tears. I really was disappointed in her lack of professionalism. Here she was presented with the opportunity to share not only the extreme actions that Doug was demonstrating, but also her own emotions at being locked out of her own house, and all she could do was weep.
Speaking of Doug, his childish reaction to the scenario Gloria and I produced for him was in itself interesting but almost useless. Granted, his physical violence had allowed me to closely observe the working of the Emergency Room staff on a busy night, but his refusal to answer the simplest question about his feelings without curses and threats gave me no insight into the what a man felt under those circumstances.
I mused that I should have employed a tape recorder, or perhaps a video camera. Naturally they would not do much towards delving into the underlying psyche during the discovery phase, but they would capture the overt emotions. I mentioned it to Sandy that the next time I would do well to more appropriately use technology. Unfortunately, the comment triggered another rehash of her feelings. I couldn't understand it. I had repeatedly told her I had all the information from her I needed. I restrained myself from telling her to shut up, as previously I had let those words slip, and the resulting scene went on for hours. More valuable time wasted.
I did find it very difficult to find another female author to repeat the situation with. Apparently Gloria, or more likely Doug, had been spreading vicious rumors that I was partially responsible for the break up of their marriage. I narrowly avoided being called to court when their divorce hearing took place. In one way I was disappointed, I could have got some great notes on what went on, but I probably would have been too closely involved to record the event dispassionately.
Amazingly, after all her extraneous comments, I was astounded one day when Sandy called me and told me she had solved my problem. She had made the arrangements and I needed to be home that afternoon by 6 p.m sharp. I tried to query her about just who the woman might be, but she refused to answer, telling me it would work better if the whole thing was a surprise. I was a bit uneasy, not being in control of the situation, but I reassured myself that Sandy was aware of what I needed and could be relied upon to arrange things.
An unexpected meeting with my published ran over and I was almost an hour late when I got home that day. I hoped the woman would be understanding. I also hoped, and was rather embarrassed at the thought, that she was attractive. After all, I wasn't doing this to cheat on Sandy. It was purely professional research and I was glad she understood that. But it would be easier to provoke the proper response of the husband if she was good looking.
Noting an unfamiliar foreign luxury car parked in the driveway, I parked down the street. This way only the wife's car would be apparent to the husband when he arrived. I dashed to the front door and sprinted up the stairs.
"Sandy?"
