Home Coming

I pulled my rental into the drive of Mom's house in the Austin suburbs. After months working in the woods, it felt weird to be back. They were sitting out on the deck behind the house, drinking beers and burning something on the grill. I snuck in.

"Brad!" Mom said as she hugged me.

"What's happening, dude?" said, Doyle, my stepfather. He didn't get up, probably because he couldn't.

"Hi, Mindy," I said to my stepsister.

Mom and Mindy were busy putting out the fire leaving us guys to engage in quality time.

"How's the forest?"

"Big. How's the story?"

"Fucked up."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, it's those fucking Mexicans working the morning shift. Lazy bastards."

I wanted nothing more than to bait him but decided to play nice, least in front of Mindy.

I popped open a beer. It was cold enough to make my teeth hurt. Meanwhile, Mindy stood beside the grill enveloped in smoke with a plate full of black cocks, which were once brats or mets or for all I know black cocks.

"You know, I really admire you Braddly."

"Oh?"

Mindy was stuffed into a denim skirt so small it should have been classified a scarf. She made that scarf look good.

"You don't got any one looking over your shoulder. You're a fee man. You know how many people wish they were just like you?"

"Yeah. It's kind of lonely though."

"Hell, you think I want to be here?"

"No, I understand. It's tough running the store."

"Fuck an A hole..." He slurped his can, his head wobbling like a bobble-head dog on a dashboard.

The women folk came back to the table with food.

"Sorry, it got a little burned," Mindy said.

She had the best smile. God, I loved her smile. I hoped if I go blind, the last thing I see is that smile. Phooo... She didn't just cook the meat.

"No, no, I like it chard."

"What the fuck did you do to it? God damn napalmed it," the drunk said.

"Sorry!"

"You have to tell me absolutely everything, Brad! What an adventure! I bet you see a lot of wild animals out there," Mom said. She sat down next to me. Mindy sat across the table.

"Yeah, it's like living inside a National Geographic Magazine. I love it. The forest runs on for a hundred miles in every direction. It's like what the world looked like before man made a mess of things."

Doyle let out a hiss.

"Saw a black bear and two babies the very morning I left."

"Awh..." Mindy said. I loved the way she said that.

"You have to understand that God gave us these resources to provide for," and then he went on saying something.

I was distracted by the glass top table. No. I'm lying. It was what I saw through the glass top that was interesting.

"...keeping America great."

"Yes. You have a point there," I said hoping to seem like I listened.

"You have to be careful. Bears can be dangerous!"

"Well, I'm mostly in a tower, the animals don't know or care that I'm there. Don't worry, Mom. I'm careful."

"I just don't want anything happening to you like what happened to," and she said more things.

Mindy shifted a little. It's not that I could see anything exactly. Oh Jesus, if she could just lean a little over to the left. I was debating whether she wore panties under that little blue jean skirt stretched taught around her hips when I felt my arm thunked.

"Ain't that so?" Doyle said.

"I'm sorry, I have something in my eye. What were you saying?"

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about," Doyle said.

The meat was more ash than food, I carved down to the edible part.

"You hate it don't you? I'm sorry. I got distracted and when I looked it was on fire."

"No, really. This is exactly the way I like it," I lied. Fuck, I'd eat a brickette if it'd make her smile - and she did, she did, oh God, she did.

Mom brought out blueberry pie she made earlier to celebrate me coming home.

I sat back with my plate in hand, getting a lower angle under the glass top.

Right about then the universe vanished, Mom, Doyle, the deck, all of Austin, space, time, everything just whooshed away when she moved her knee three inches to the left.

"Pink!" my brain screamed. Pink's absolutely my fucking favorite fucking color. Jesus she wore pink panties and it was like I could see heaven in-between her glorious fucking thighs. I don't need to live another day. That was good enough to make it all worthwhile. What did you do in life? I got to see those sweet pink panties and all the other dead bastards cry 'cause they didn't. Freaking amazing! My left cerebral cortex high fived the right.

But then there was something else. Last thing I wanted would be to get caught and then her dad, already out of his mind... oh, it would be so bad. I was trying to be nonchalant about spying on her -- of course. When I looked up, I met her eyes. She smiled and moved her knee back. Did I just imagine that? For sure my pulse was off the scale, like humming birds metabolisms? Screw them, Doc, check this out. I'm pretty sure the three of them could hear my heart grow an erection. Did she just show me her crotch? Fuck. It's not like I could ask her. Did she catch me looking? Was that why she smiled? Maybe I was just imagining that she wanted to give me a peek. She had such an innocent smile. Did it just mean, I'm sorry I burned your wiener?

"How's the pie?"

"Oh, God, it's the best, Mom."

Her smile broadened. Damn! I don't know! Damn, damn, freaking crazy fuck, God damn, damn!

She picked up my sticky plate and took it with other things into the kitchen.

"Fucking women, you can't live with them, and you can't live with them," he said, opening another can.

* * * * *

That night the four of us slept peacefully. Mom and stepdad in the master room, Mindy in the second bedroom, me on the fold-out couch in the living room. It was quiet, very quiet.

I couldn't get the color pink out of my mind, maybe I didn't really want to get it out of my mind. I'm not much of a religious man but I started praying, first time since I was ten. What I wanted was just fifteen feet away. I had an extension cord that long.

You know, if I went into her room and started doing what I was thinking about doing, it would be the best thing in the history of mankind, historians would write scholarly papers about it -- IF she meant to show me her crotch, otherwise I didn't want to think about how my buddy Doyle would react. He was violent even when he wasn't punching something. Though I was pretty sure I could take him out, it would make such tension I'd have to leave. Bet she's got a spare pillow between her legs.

How is it that a human could be put in this situation? It's not natural. I tried to sleep. You can imagine how well that worked out. Pink! It just didn't go away. All night, I just kept seeing it. I could smell it. I could taste it. Glorious pink, I fucking love you, pink.

* * * * *

Next morning the men folk sat at the breakfast table. It was not a pretty sight.

Mom and Mindy were cheerful as two chickadees, hopping about making pancakes and talking about things to do.

"Fucking kill me," Doyle said under his breath.

I'd kill him with a butter knife if I could go back to bed, her panties tortured me until I passed out, I had five minutes of sleep.

She wore boyish pajamas, little prints of ducks or something. The important point: no bra. I was pretty sure by then she was hired by the North Koreans to kill me. I don't know why they wanted me dead but damn, what a way to go.

"Record the time of death as six hundred hours, cause of death prolonged erection," my imaginary doctor said shaking his head.

"He was too young," a nurse with a hot body added.

Mindy wobbled when she poured my coffee.

"Do you like cream?" she asked.

"I want to pound you on this table, right on top of Doyle's eggs, so hard that the neighbors decide they should move to a different neighborhood," I didn't say.

"Black is best," I said instead.

The North Korean operative smiled. A smile from some other universe, nothing in nature could possibly be so glorious. Stop it. When you do that to me the contents of my head falls out onto the floor.

I took my coffee out back. The yard looked so small. It's a thimble lined with a chain-link fence to keep the neighbor's dog from peeing on the vegetables. This was really weird, like coming home from a war. Nothing looked the same. Nothing was real. It was like an attempt to make me believe the past was real when I had only imagined once living here. The grass needed trimming. I'd get to that before it got too hot.

Mindy came out. She stood next to me by the railing.

"It must be wonderful."

"Sometimes it is. When the leaves change, the air is filled with a certain special smell. Everything is alive. You can hear wood peckers miles off. It's peaceful."

She rolled a joint.

Even in the non-feminine pajamas, her womanly form was clear in the early morning light. Nothing on Earth would be more bewitching. I thought about telling her how I felt. I just wanted to tell her. Even if she recoiled, I just wanted to say how much she made life worth living. How I'd give my life for her. Anything. Anything. Anything.

She passed me the joint.

I didn't tell her. Somehow, I think she already knew.