Copyright Oggbashan December 2020
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author
of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
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"Charles? Remind me. Where are we going?"
"Bermondsey, Sir Henry."
"Bermondsey?" I put as much disdain into that word as I could.
"Is there such a place as Bermondsey? I have never been there, have I, Charles?"
"As far as I know, Sir Henry, no."
"I could understand Kensington, Mayfair or perhaps even Chelsea, but Bermondsey? The mind revolts."
"I understand they have a large opulent house, Sir Henry."
"Maybe, but In Bermondsey? It's full of Cockneys and jellied eel stalls. Revolting. And why aren't I in a chauffeured Rolls Royce instead of a London taxi?"
"You could be, Sir Henry, but you hate spending your own money. Lady Oxsmith is paying for this taxi."
We had been collected from the stage door and were passing the neon lights of Piccadilly Circus in this late 1960s.
Charles has been my private secretary for over forty years. He can take liberties that I wouldn't allow from anyone else.
"Oh, well, it will be nice to see her, even if she does live in such an impossible place. And, Charles, I wasn't wholly happy with my audience tonight. They were polite, respectful, but there seemed little excitement in them."
"And you know why, Sir Charles. They are all getting older. You are a performer from an earlier era appreciated, even loved, but decades out of date."
"I should think I am. I can't compete with likes of Elvis Presley or British pop stars of today. Not that I would want to. It must be annoying to perform in front of an audience that screams all the way through so that whatever you are singing is completely drowned. But when I was on the bill with Cliff Richard and the Shadows they seemed to be polite young men. I liked them -- if not their music."
"And they liked you too. It was a nice gesture from them to ask for signed photos of you."
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We had arrived at Lord and Lady Oxsmith's house. Charles was right. It was an opulent house. We entered a carriage drive. The gateposts were topped with heraldic beasts. The house itself was floodlight and brilliant white in an extreme Art Deco style -- the sort of house that wins architectural awards and is impossible to live in, but perhaps this house wasn't.
The butler came down the entrance steps and opened the taxi door while a footman paid the taxi driver. I clapped my top hat on my head and swung my red silk lined cloak around me. I know I look like the Bad Baronet from Gilbert and Sullivan's Ruddigore, but why not? I AM a Baronet, and at my age I can afford to be bad -- sometimes.
Once inside the butler took my hat, gloves and cloak. I kept my gold topped cane. It used to be an affectation but at my age I now need it -- sometimes.
"Sir Henry," the Butler said. "Lady Oxsmith would like to see you alone."
He looked pointedly at Charles.
"Very well," I said, "Charles? See you later."
I followed the butler up the stairs, slower than I would have liked but stairs can be a challenge. The Butler showed me into Lady Oxsmith's boudoir.
She stood up to greet me, and when the Butler had left, kissed me on both cheeks. That was pleasant, even if she had to stoop at little to do it. For my generation I am not short, but Lady Oxsmith is tall, very tall for an operatic singer. I had recently seen her at Covent Garden in the role of Zerlina in Mozart's Don Giovanni. Her performance had good reviews except that some comments were that she made her Mazetto look like a dwarf and if Don Giovanni had tried anything with her he would have had a straight right to his nose.
She reminded me of Dame Clara Butt of my youth. I had performed at some concerts with Dame Clara who was over six feet tall but heavier built than Lady Oxsmith.
There was a white cardboard box beside a wine cooler with a bottle of champagne and three glasses.
"Sir Henry," she started to say...
"Just Henry," please, I said.
"In which case, I am Elaine," she said. "I am pregnant."
"Congratulations, Elaine," I said automatically.
"But I am worried and need your help, Henry."
"My help? How?"
"My grandfather was the Duc..."
"Yes," I said tentatively
"And my mother was the Countess."
"I know, Elaine."
"But some of the Duc's relations have been found to have a significant heriditary disease which might affect my unborn child. But there were rumours..."
"Can I sit down, Elaine?"
"Of course, Henry."
"I think I know what you want from me, Elaine. Yes, there were rumours but the Duc and I denied them. If asked in public, I will still deny them. But, in private to a pregnant Elaine, I will say what should not be said."
"You will?"
"Yes, Elaine. What isn't known is that the Duc was injured in the First World War. Or rather, that IS known. What was not known was the effect of his injuries. He could never father children..."
"Then how?"
"Exactly. How did his wife produce two children, a girl, your grandmother, and two years later a son and heir who became the Duc?"
"How?"
"They had a good friend -- me. At the time medical science couldn't help. But I could and did. With the agreement of both of them I made love to the Duc's wife. It was intended to be once only but the first born was a girl and the Duc wanted an heir, so I was asked again."
"So I am your granddaughter, Henry?"
"Yes, Elaine, you are, and I'm very proud of you even if I would never admit the relationship in public."
"And I have no need to worry about hereditary illness in the Duc's wider family?"
"No. They aren't your relations, except officially. You are descended from me and my ancestors -- Kentish Yeomen who lived very long lives in good health. And the Duc's wife was the sister of a King's mistress of sturdy Norman stock."
"So I have nothing to worry about?"
"No, granddaughter. You should have a strong a healthy baby who should grow to become tall and as beautiful as its mother."
Elaine jumped up and kissed me.
"Thank you, Granddad. This calls for the champagne."
She opened the bottle with practised ease and poured two glasses.
"To my great-grandchild!" I said.