My husband and I had been happily married for five years, and for the most part there were few complaints on my part. We had undergone various obstacles in the past both financially and emotionally, but we had always come out of them stronger than when we went in. We had started out with our own fevered flare in the bedroom, complete with our imaginations running wild with toys and costumes that empowered us sexually. He and I even had our own language in the bedroom. When I said "Is that all you got, little man?" I actually meant "You're doing great. Don't stop!" and when he said "Ohhh you're a dirty whore!" he really meant "I'm coming". It was all very cute.
I had let myself turn into a disaster zone and I saw the effects of my neglect every morning before showers and when I stepped into a bathing suit. It wasn't the 10 pounds I put on after our son was born ,or left on depending on whose side your on. It was my cooter.
Our son had been a big boy at birth tipping the scales at a whopping 13 pounds 2 ounces. I was appalled to learn that he didn't want to go, he seemed to hold on till the bitter end. He was responsible for what I call the big meaty beef curtains. Our obstetrician had mentioned that he might be a "tight squeeze". It was an understatement of mammoth proportions. He was a monster. The beginning of my pregnancy had begun with little worries and there were only a few trips to A&W at 3 in the morning for my husband. We were Ozzie and Harriet during the first 4 months. I tell him what Mr. Spock thought and he'd tell me what Bill Cosby's Fatherhood was all about. We stayed up late coming up with names for our son like Randolph or Chester, but we never could come up with anything we both liked. Not until we saw IT. At 7 months I was huge and doctors had told me more than once that I was having quintuplets. This was not the case, although it might have something to do with our choice when naming the child. I thought of myself as Dom Delouise or Violet from the Willy Wonka movie. And it didn't stop there. My feet had gone from being red and sore to yellow and cracked. My breasts had become beached whales on my chest and I felt like Greenpeace with every breath. Just before the birth I was admitted to the hospital, not for labour pains or my water breaking but for my safety and those around me. I had already broken my kankle in an unfortunate accident involving a shopping cart and a troop of girl scouts. There were no fatalities unless you count a folding table and the 48 boxes of thin mints.
I don't remember the actual delivery. I wasn't allowed an epidural on account of the interaction with the anti inflammatory I was on. The doctor had told me the wouldn't be a need for a cesarean because I had the perfect hip bones for a breeder (doctors words not mine). I swear to this day he was trying to punish me for having a baby, but I still haven't compiled enough evidence to get a lawyer. But I do remember one thing during the birthing process. I remember blowing a tire at 110 km an hour on the highway, or at least that is what it sounded like when my son was born. After that I seriously thought about getting my tubes tied but settled later on birth control.
My husband and I waited 3 months after the birth to start up the sexual revolution. We started slow at first. Foreplay had become our niche. I was getting better and better as weeks went on at the art of fellatio. I'd start sucking the head of his penis while working the shaft with my own saliva lube. He loved the way I spun my hand around on the top of his head and came down in a backwards hand job and then switched on the next stroke. I got a shudder out of him every time. I'd suck his nipples till the were as painful as mine. I'd pull his balls gingerly into my mouth and swirl them around working his shaft faster and faster until I could feel his dick tense. I'd release my grip and kiss him hard on the lips and wait for his willy to cool down and repeat the process till I was sure he couldn't take it any longer. I waited till just the right moment while working his shaft so I could gag on him while he coated my throat. He had no complaints for my technique and praised my hand job routine endlessly.