Authors note: Before reading the following piece of blarney, please be sure to insert tongue firmly in cheek and be aware that the author does not condone extra marital relationships in real life.
* * *
Whilst it could be argued that there are many crucial accessories necessary in a modern girl's life, a 'Sugar Daddy' might not be the first one to pop into most people's heads. This highly useful accessory is often sadly overlooked, much to the detriment of poor harassed single women around the globe. Lets face it, any girl can quite easily find a boyfriend (or three) should she bother to look hard enough, but a 'boyfriend' has limited usefulness in the grander scheme of things and it is important to think outside the square when it comes to long-term happiness.
It is far more satisfying having a Sugar Daddy who is married or otherwise attached. I expect at this point you are reading this with a sceptical gleam in your cynical 'ol eye. Well let me persuade you of the less obvious attractions to this mutually beneficial arrangement...
An old fashioned 'boyfriend' can be a very emotionally draining experience. They have an annoying tendency to demand fidelity, when half the time they don't practice what they preach. They also expect you to be there when it is convenient for
them
; on hand to dish out the snacks/beer during the World Cup Footy Tournament. How much fun does that sound? Oh yeah, and add endless washing of socks and footy kit once you move in to his bachelor pad...
Welcome to the seventh circle of Hell my dear!
I rest my case.
Okay, now we have established that the ubiquitous boyfriend is a waste of time, we can discuss the reasons why a Sugar Daddy is far more fun to have around, as well how to acquire this wonderful piece of kit...err...man.
First things first...
The most important requirement is a lover who is married or otherwise attached. This may seem problematic, but in fact it is relatively easy to acquire one of these. The hard part is actually getting some eligible men to admit to their marital status. Unsurprisingly, they are so used to pretending that they are single in order to get laid, persuading them that you really don't give a damn can take some time.
The main trick is finding the
right
man for your needs. Unfortunately, not just any man will do! It is fairly pointless in pursuing a relationship with a married man who has nothing to offer you BUT sex once a month. After all, where is the fun in that? You could find that anywhere should you bother to look hard enough.
Oh no, the real advantages of having a Sugar Daddy lie elsewhere and they could be described as the 'fringe benefits' to the relationship.
The ideal man...
If you are going to devote your time selflessly making a miserable rich guy happier with his lot in life, then you really need recompensing for your time and effort. I am not suggesting you charge per hour -- that would make you a prostitute, which is morally unacceptable.
No, what I mean is that you need to feel
cherished
and
appreciated
for all the effort you are going to expend in to making his life more agreeable.
Every woman likes presents. That's a given. The best way for a man to show his everlasting appreciation for that wonderful and mind-blowing sex you provide him, is to buy you nice gifts and take you on luxurious holidays regularly.
This means of course, that your ideal man should be comfortably able to provide these kinds of fringe benefits. It is always worth checking his financial status before you commit yourself to anything long-term. There is very little point in finding yourself attached to a man who is not only married, but who is also about to declare bankruptcy. You may well find yourself supporting him, rather than the other way round and that is hardly the point is it?
How do you judge a man's ability to provide for you?
Well, this is a tough one. Unless you have 'relations' with his Accountant and Bank Manager too, you are unlikely to be privy to any financial information early enough to make a sound judgement about whether to pursue the relationship. You just have to listen to your gut instincts.
If he drives a decent car, carries a wallet full of platinum credit cards and wears a gold Rolex watch, you can be fairly certain he has enough money to keep you happy for a while. Be wary of the man who appears unwilling to actually spend any of this cash -- there is no point in dating a rich man who has mothballs in his wallet. Frugality is not an endearing habit in the male of the species. Just be sure to let him know in
no uncertain terms
that you won't put out for peanuts, and it might just change his spending patterns for the better.
Once you have met a suitable candidate, establishing that he is the right one for you may take some time. There is nothing wrong with sampling the goods before you buy at this stage. After all, you are hoping for a long term arrangement so you both need to be happy with the minor details like
will he go down on me too?
The whole package is very important. Look at the man as a whole, not just as a means to an end. It is important that you do not settle for someone you find physically repulsive, just because they are rich. Expensive gifts and holidays are not a good enough reason to fuck that disgustingly creepy guy who owns a string of kebab shops -- even if he is loaded and has promised you a week at the Hotel Cipriani in Venice.
Oh no, if you are intending to travel to exotic locations with your lover, it is far more fun when he is at least reasonably presentable and doesn't require ambulance-transfers between the airport and the resort.
Unless you have plans to keep several men on the go, you need to be happy in all areas of the relationship, and this includes sexually. The only advantage to a much older lover is that he may be so undemanding of your services that you are able to take on a younger lover too.