It's the damned machine's fault...
The elegant lady, somewhere in her early forties, put the train ticket in her handbag as she descended the escalator to Platform Three. It was mid-afternoon, and she had plenty of time, arriving early for the 3:15 train to town. She was due to meet her husband at his office, and to buy themselves an Anniversary present, and then dinner and a hotel afterwards.
The station was sparsely occupied with perhaps a dozen other travelers dotted around the four platforms, so she was alone herself. She wandered up the platform, mildly wondering at which point she should wait for the train to arrive, when she noticed a brightly-chromed weighing machine in the center of her platform. She stood in front of it, looking at the 18"-square plate to stand on, and the four-foot-high chromed tube that held the square head of the machine that looked like a computer screen.
The scrolling-notice on the screen told her
"I speak your weight and your fortune. Insert a quarter now for all to be revealed."
Hmmm? She thought and wandered on. Then, changing her mind, she went back to the machine, stepped on the plate and inserted a quarter into the slot. The machine buzzed for a few seconds, stopped its scrolling and then a computer-generated face appeared with a voice speaking to her.
"You are 135 pounds; five feet eight inches tall and are catching the 3:15 train to town to be with your husband."
She gasped; how could it know this?
"In a couple of minutes, you will also fart, and then in about fifteen minutes you will engage in some illicit, erotic sexual coupling!"
Again, she gasped and almost jumped off the weighing-plate of the machine. Shocked and angry, she stared at the screen as it went blank, and resumed the scrolling of the original message.
Angry at the statement of the machine, she was even more surprised as she walked away, when a little 'paarrp' emitted from 'down below'. Now embarrassed, she looked around to ensure that nobody else heard, and she was glad; most of the other travelers were on the other platforms and she was still alone. Recovering slightly, she thought about what the machine had said, and reached into her purse for another quarter. Still slightly hesitant, she went back to the machine, stood on the weight-plate and dropped the quarter into the slot.