The phone rang.
Lance Meadows stared at it for a moment, then leaped across the desk, startling his partner, Derek Anthony. “Dream Police, Sphincter Division.”
“Oh, thank God you’re there!” The woman’s voice was shaky, filled with unshed tears. “I’ve been having the worst dreams lately and I need your help!”
“We’re on our way!” Lance slammed the receiver back onto its cradle. “Come on, Derek! It’s an emergency!”
Sirens blazing, Meadows and Anthony sped over to the cozy house tucked on a side street in the more expensive part of town. The woman who answered the door looked as if she’d been crying and hid her face behind a long fall of black hair.
“Thank you for coming. Please come in.”
The two officers stepped into the home, taking a summary look around before turning their attention back on the woman. Lance noticed that she was pretty, with cornflower blue eyes and a mouth shaped like a bow. She was of Asian descent and was built on the small side, her chin just reaching Derek’s chest and he was the shorter of the two officers at 5’11”.
“So, what can we help you with, ma’am?”
“It’s my ass.”
Lance and Derek exchanged glances. “Your ass, ma’am?”
“Yes.” She began to cry again. “It’s … it’s too small!”
Derek took her arm and led her to the sofa, patiently waiting for her tears to dry while Lance looked at photos perched on the mantel. In most of the pictures, she was sharing an embrace with a large black man. “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
She took a breath and pushed the hair back from her face. “My name is Akiko and that’s my husband, Gerald. At least for now … “ A new round of tears started.
“What do you mean?”
“He told me that he wants a divorce because he can’t get his huge cock into my tight asshole!”
Again, the officers looked at each other, enduring yet another bout of tears. This was going to take a long time. “So the problem is that you have a small asshole?”
“Yes.”
“Have you tried getting a toy or anything like that?”
“I’ve tried but it’s just really hard!”
“Hold on a moment.” Derek motioned Lance over to the mantel, casting an eye back on the distraught woman. “Lance, we’ll have to help her with this.”
“Are you sure? We could call for backup.”
“No, we won’t need backup and besides, the captain would be upset if we wasted man hours for a problem like this.”