Confessions 7

Thanks, Doctor. No, I had breakfast earlier. Can I have the sofa, today? Great.

Let me get right to the meat of it, Doc. I had this strange dream a few months back. I dreamed I was a WOMAN!

I AM calm. Sorry. Sorry-about-that.

Well, I’ve had sex dreams before, I guess, but this was different. You know me, Doc. I coach ball, I’m a married man. A father. When I dream about sex, I dream about other women. I mean, me having sex with women, you know. Not me BEING a woman! At least until NOW. I have to admit this dream was very…erotic. I find myself thinking about it, a lot. And it’s raised a serious doubt in my mind.

Thanks, yeah, I get it. Yeah, it has me wondering what’s going on, too. It was, well, extremely…detailed. You know…graphic as hell.

NO, of course not. I don’t take anything like that.

An antacid once in awhile, maybe an aspirin, that’s it.

Sure, I’d LIKE to tell you about it. I have to tell somebody about it. I can’t tell the guys on the dock. I sure-as-hell can’t tell my WIFE.

It starts out in somebody’s back yard, I guess. The grass and trees are green. It’s summer. I know it’s summer because I’m wearing a lightweight DRESS, fer kristsakes! I’m sitting in one of those waddaya-call-its, a wooden double seater, the kind that swings when you push the floor with your feet, you know? You see them in the movies, they’re down south mostly, on plantations.

Like I said, I’m wearing this dress, it’s pink, silky. The kind they call off-the-shoulder, I think. Tight on top, but a big flowing skirt. I look down, and I’ve got BREASTS! Beautiful, full size ones! And not only that, my hair is long and blonde, curly too. Spilling all down over my shoulders and tits. Now, this is quite a shock to me. But in this dream, it’s perfectly NORMAL. I mean, I’m not upset or anything, I’m a WOMAN, and that’s that. And I can’t really control what’s going on. I can’t stand up when I want to or ANYTHING, I’m just along for the ride in this dream, you know. But I feel and see everything, like it’s really me.

Anyway, I’m swinging in this thing out in the sun. The wind is blowing my hair, and I can feel it brushing over my face and shoulders. It’s tickling me. And it feels…look Doc, I’m going to be completely honest here, it feels SEXY, okay? It’s this woman in the dream thinking this, only she’s ME, get it?

Well, while I’m trying to get used to this, I start to notice other things, too. Like, I’m not wearing any bra. My boobs are naked inside this silk dress, which is kind of moving across them as I‘m making the swing go. And my nipples are hard, excited, you know? And this feels really good. And these boobs, MY boobs, bounce up and down when the swing tops out, you know, like jello, weighty. And THAT feels good. Not only that, but as I‘m rocking the swing with my feet, I see that I’ve got great legs and I’m wearing nylons, the kind that only come partway up and connect to little straps on a belt. And the silk dress is brushing across my legs inside these nylons, and I feel the little straps moving and THAT feels really good, TOO. Damn, Doc, I’m not doing anything but swinging in this swing, and I’m almost having an orgasm, here. I had no idea it was like this being a woman. So I turn my head to look at this dog, and…

A irish setter. I told you, it’s really detailed. You can ask me ANYTHING.

So this dog is playing around over there, and I turn my head to look at it and call to it, and my hair keeps moving when I stop my head. It just flows around me, very lively. Really nice, actually. And it’s HEAVY, because there’s a LOT of it, you know. Not like my real hair, I mean, my hair now. Now this is getting FREAKY. It’s just too real, too detailed for just a dream. And I can’t stop this dream, can’t wake up. I start to feel trapped. So I decide to just GO with it, you know? And then it’s okay, I’m okay with it.

Anyway here I am, out for a summer swing, I guess, and I’m starting to enjoy this. Like, my body is real sensitive, and everything feels really good. I’ve got this great pair of tits and gorgeous legs. I’ve got this nice friendly dog. It’s a beautiful day. Paradise, right? When I realize, in this dream, that I probably don’t have a COCK any more. OR balls. This dream is just FULL of surprises. But before I can come to grips with this new development, I see this Dodge drive up and a guy at the gate. He’s smiling, and I tell him, I mean she tells him, whatever, ‘Hello, come on in.’ My voice is too high, but it’s okay for a woman, I guess. I’m going to just GO with it, right, so I got to stop being so critical. Anyway, he walks over to the swing, which I have stopped, and he kisses me. HERE WE GO. This dream is just too weird, you know. But this has to be okay, too. I mean, I’m a woman now, so I kiss guys, right?

So he’s holding me really tight, pressing my tits against his chest, kissing me gently, tongue too. And we’re kissing quite a while, here, and I’m really into it. And now he’s got his hands on my ass, he’s really putting the move on, right, running his fingers up and down my asscrack, and finally I figure out I must know this guy. But then I get the message, Doc, that I REALLY know this guy, because I can feel this warm liquid dripping down my leg. And I know what THAT is, even if I’m NOT a woman. I realize that I’m sexually excited by assman, here, and I’m feeling it in the way a woman does, you know. My tits and stomach getting tense, mostly. But then I figure out that it’s not my stomach, it’s inside allright, but it’s in my PUSSY. It only makes sense that I got this pussy, right. So this must be what’s it’s like to get horny without a cock, with a pussy I mean. This dream is REALLY fucking educational, you know.

Then I figured out that, logically, I must not be wearing any panties for this drippage to be happening. So I must have been expecting this guy to come over today, and we’re about to make it, probably on the swing or in his fucking Dodge. HERE WE GO. I’m really screwed now. If I know assman, he probably wants some backdoor action, the pig. I know I’m supposed to just GO with it, but this is fucking ridiculous. But, SURPRISE, I’m calm. This is kind of exciting, you know. To fuck, get fucked I mean, as a woman. I get to see what sex is like as the other, uh, sex. This might be VERY interesting, right? So I’m kind of looking forward to it. Getting charged up, you know, in a female kind of way, with the nipples and the dripping and all. When I suddenly break away from the guy and go inside to get ICED TEA, fer kristsakes! Just like a woman! I’m getting blue balls here, and I don’t even have balls!

So now I’m dripping, we’ve got a tea party going on the swing, I’m horny as hell, and I’m playing hard-to-get. Doc, this was one fucked up dream. Almost like real life, actually.

Well, we’re talking and shit, I won’t bore you with the conversation, and we finish the tea, right, and here comes assman charging in with the kissing and the crack poking again. Only, this time she’s digging it. I’m digging it, I mean. With all the socializing out of the way, I’m getting pretty horned up here. I’ve got some heavy tongue action going, I’ve finally got the dorks hands off my ass and onto my tits where they’ll do me some good, and I’ve got some serious drippage cranked up. I got it all under control. All I have to do is press my legs together and wiggle them a little and I get these liquid electric shocks in my pussy. It’s really nice. So you can bet I was wiggling my legs together like a madman. When what does this butthead do but drop to his knees and stick his head under my DRESS. Is this what women have to put up with? He’s moving around under there, moaning ‘Oh baby, oh baby’ or something, and I’m thinking, ‘What the fuck’, when suddenly I feel this thunderbolt rush right up my spine and it practically blows my head off. This guy has stuck his tongue right into my pussy.

No, that’s not all, Doctor. I just need a breather. You got some water? Thanks.

Doc, I’ve had a few ladies go down on me in my time. I bet you have, too, right? Eh? All men enjoy blowjobs, but brother, it’s nothing like what a women feels. When that Dodge guy licked me, I was in absolute heaven. I laid back on the swing, my long blonde hair falling around me, my hands on my boobs as they moved up and down with my breathing. I watched my dress rising and falling, felt it gliding over my nylons, as his head bobbed up and down on my pussy. And I had an orgasm that was better than anything in real life, pal, no joke. There ain’t NOTHING that compares to it. Trust me, women have the better half of the sex deal.

I hadn’t pleasured my wife like that in twenty years. But after that dream, I started doing it again. How could I not, knowing what I know? I try to be a lot kinder to her, too. Women are more sensitive than us, Doc. I’m grateful I’ve been given this second chance. Our marriage is a hundred and one percent now. A hundred and one percent. But what I need to know is this, Doc. This dream didn’t come out of my head, because I didn’t KNOW about any of this stuff before. You don’t think this means I’m gay, do you?

My first attempt at humor. Please vote.