I started seeing a new person a few days ago. He had a long car ride home from work ahead of him and I decided to keep him entertained, as much as I could given that I live in a collective and often run up against interruptions from curious cats and bemused roommates. The roommates don't join in. It's not that kind of story. I'm just easily distracted. Here's our unedited chat transcript:
Go ahead
I'm thinking
Goal is sending something moderately sexy while getting myself off. Limitations: it's got to be one handed and I'm not that good at Swyping. So I'm mostly dictating this. Good thing the roommates aren't home. Also, I might die of embarrassment first. Let's see.
I've taken off my pants because those majorly inhibit access to like anything fun.
Roommate interference
Sticking to Swype
Maybe I don't have to stop
I think it's Claudius
Went through Flower's room
[
I lied. One edit. I changed my roomies' names because they're super distinctive. Oops. Otherwise I'm totally a reliable narrator. No, really. I was super pleased with how hard I came and thought this might help you too. If you were wondering if this was going to be all straight-laced romance or only hot smut, this interjection should give you a sense of the horny goofy sex posi feminist I am.
]
But this cat might catch me yet
[
The cat is named Klaus. I haven't changed his name because he's not as well-established in the community and he's totally an asshole who doesn't respect closed doors and boundaries. I'm done interrupting now though.
]
I'm rubbing my clit
I've just remembered how sex stories work.
I've forgotten again because my phone keeps switching off to Wi-Fi and ruining the mood.
Anyways hand on clit and to be perfectly honest not getting wet quickly
Thinking about how you might be reading this and mildly straining against your pants.
Do you drive stick shift? I don't remember but i think not.
That means maybe you'll have a phone holder gizmo
And maybe you'll leave the phone in there and leave one hand wisely on the wheel
And maybe you'll use the other hand, I'm assuming the right, to shift your bulge, by which i mean your penis (do you have a preferred slang, cock or dick or boneshaker or whatever?), in a better position for discretely rubbing.
Your car is short and even though you've got wide lanes you probably won't take it out – whatever you call it. I could dare you.
But anyways, you'll shift to stroke it, probably through your pants
The thought of it has made me wetter
But it'll take more lusty thoughts
Im hard at a toll booth
I remember lying back
Hahaha
Spread out and spread eagle on the beanbag
Flying high on lust and marijuana
Let's take a moment to appreciate how lyrical my stream of consciousness sex prose is.
Your lips on my cunt.
I like cunt
And pussy
Vulva even
So your lips are on my cunt
I'm very wet now
Claudius is making lip smacking sounds at his cat
I am raising and twisting my hips
Bringing my soaking pussy up to meet the index and middle fingers of my right hand as they twitch back and forth
My hips are gyrating in a tilt a wheel fashion up to the right and down and around. A figure eight of fun
I love that you're going to cum while thinking about me
The roommates may have some sense that I'm fondling myself
I love that you've said that. It really turns me on.
But dictate be safe