Along Came a Spider

Each of the nicer neighborhoods in Davidson had its own community center and Mrs. Danielle Parnell's was no different. In fact, the Parnells and the fifty or so other families who lived in Davidson's

nicest

neighborhood, each on at least an acre, in homes that started at around 5000 square feet, shared a clubhouse, an Olympic size swimming pool and a lovely dock and boardwalk both of which nestled up to the West River that ran through the community. It was here that parents socialized, children played and dogs ran along the "beach" that the neighborhood association had created specifically for the residents' enjoyment.

It was also here that Mrs. Danielle Parnell exercised her favorite pastime - looking down her nose at Davidson's other women while slyly currying the attention of its most affluent men and boys -- their husbands and sons. The 43 year-old beauty particularly enjoyed "catching" one of those men as he stared at her spectacular ass or pert 34C breasts, the former most often accentuated by high heels the latter by a push-up bra under a stylish top, and then castigating him in front of his wife by loudly chiding, "it's very impolite to stare you know, you should be ashamed of yourself - how inappropriate."

What she enjoyed most though was the humiliation she knew the wives experienced as she publicly emasculated their husbands. She reveled in how the gaggle of soccer moms, brownie leaders and church volunteers all but disappeared when she cast her spell over their pathetic mates. After all, she was a gorgeous high-powered lawyer and they were . . . well . . . nothing.

On this October day, as she stepped out of her brand new Range Rover Sport, Danielle was taking her daughter Maria to the community center kids' Halloween Party - a neighborhood staple that was followed in the evening by the annual Halloween Formal. The latter -- also a tradition -- required attendees to either come in black tie or costume. Mrs. Parnell, of course, would opt for the former and planned to wear a spectacular couture gown. Although her two older kids were already out trick-or-treating, the nine year old Maria still loved to participate in the party.

As Danielle led her daughter into the clubhouse lobby, whiplash quickly struck the neck of every man who saw her - followed by a rush of blood from each of their big heads on downward. Her black suede stiletto-heeled knee high boots, over a pair of black leggings that snugly cradled an ass that appeared chiseled from marble, confirmed for them again that Mrs. Parnell was a vision of refined sexuality. On top she wore a tight black turtle-neck sweater that emphasized the swell of her ample bosom but left no doubt as to the tautness of her midsection or the tone of her arms. Over the sweater she wore an incredibly stylish lynx fur vest that came down to just above her waist. Open in front the vest permitted onlookers a view of the oversized D&G buckle that fastened her black leather belt. Although she didn't acknowledge the men - not a one -- she knew that they couldn't take their eyes off her and she loved it - so typical, so pathetic. But it was the sleeve grabbing, arm punching and throat clearing of the assembled wives as they tried to regain their drooling husbands' attention that really made Danielle's day. She loved how her radiance blinded these foolish men to the existence of their frumpy wives.

Maria meanwhile was dressed as witch. She wore green face paint, a witch's frock and a jaunty, pointy, black witch's hat. Of course, she also carried a broom and, being somewhat of a tomboy, had additionally managed to sneak out of the Parnell house with her brother Will's tarantula - George - hidden in a plastic pumpkin. Her mother, who was petrified of spiders generally and George in particular, knew nothing of her daughter's hitch hiker. Had she even a whiff of it, Mrs. Parnell would have taken Maria right home and given her a very stern lecture about her inappropriate behavior.

As mother and daughter walked into the main ballroom where the party was getting into full swing, Maria headed off to join her friends. Danielle on the other hand, had no intention of staying. In fact she had already tasked the Parnell family nanny, Alia, with picking up Maria after the party so that Danielle would have ample time alone to prepare for the formal. That said, given the nature of any children's event, Danielle could not avoid "engaging" with some of the other neighborhood moms, most of who were in costume both for purposes of chaperoning the children's party and for attending the formal later that evening.

Katherine Wray, the willowy and waifish runner of the neighborhood was dressed as Peter Pan.

"She certainly has the chest of a boy," Danielle thought to herself, emphasizing her own assets as she smiled falsely at the flat chested Mrs. Wray.

Mrs. Rebecca Ross wore the costume of a wood nymph on her body topped off with a wonderfully done paper mache donkey head on top. The somewhat Rubenesque blonde high school English teacher was costumed as Nick Bottom from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.

"That's a big ass on that big ass," Mrs. Parnell chuckled inwardly as, beneath her stylish sunglasses, she rolled her eyes at Rebecca. Although Mrs. Parnell looked down her nose at Davidson's men and women alike, even she had to admit that Rebecca's husband, Adam Hess, was a very handsome man. Too bad he's a chubby chaser she laughed to herself.

Finally, Danielle acknowledged, barely, Mrs. Nicole Silver and PTA President Rachel Miras, the former, a curvy, buxom red head, outfitted in an ill-fitting "sexy police woman's" costume and the latter as a character from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

"That Silver woman should be ashamed of herself," thought Danielle, "stuffing her oversized body into that inappropriate costume. Talk about cops as pigs!"

As for Mrs. Miras, Mrs. Parnell merely snickered under her breath, "of course she's a Hobbit."

As she turned to leave on a very high heel of one of her black suede boots, Danielle felt the familiar joy of superiority swelling up insider her. Strutting away from the "lesser" moms she mused, "wait until this load of costumed circus freaks and their drooling fool husbands see what I'll be wearing to the formal tonight," all the while thinking of the exquisite black gown hanging in her closet. Thank God there'll be alcohol there to drown these women's sorrows.

Back in the clubhouse it was Rebecca Ross who gave voice to what all the mothers were feeling. "Just once I'd like to see that imperious snob get taken down a peg or two," she seethed. "And I don't like the way she looks at my husband." No one disagreed with either sentiment.

With Maria at the party, her other two kids off trick-or-treating and her husband still at work, Danielle Parnell could share some time with the person in the world she loved the most - herself. Stepping from the lion-clawed tub in the colossal marble sanctuary that was her private bathroom, Mrs. Parnell wrapped her heavenly body in large terry cloth towel before slipping into a silk robe. Smiling into her mirror as she prepared to apply her make-up, and with the impact she'd make at the Halloween Formal foremost in her mind, Danielle whispered to herself "you are indeed the fairest of them all."

To improve upon her own perfection, Mrs. Parnell expertly applied a set of false eye lashes and otherwise exquisitely made up her beautiful face. Her ruby red lips, not overdone but sexy nonetheless, and her tasteful eyeliner, called out in more stark relief than usual her perfectly formed and immaculate white teeth and emerald green eyes. She looked the perfect cross between Keri Russell and Miranda Kerr.

With her make-up and hair complete, the latter in an updo to lend her even more sophistication, Mrs. Parnell smiled devilishly as she began to get "dressed" for the evening. Although she generally wore only the finest lingerie from the likes of Cosa Bella and La Perla, and although no one but she (and if she permitted him, her husband) would ever see it anyway, Danielle had decided that her nod to Halloween would be to don some very naughty, cheap, Frederick's of Hollywood, "holiday themed" underwear beneath her fabulously expensive designer gown.

Opening the small shopping bag before her, Mrs. Parnell pulled out a matching, sheer, black and orange "spider" thong and garter belt. Slipping the former up her toned legs before it settled on her taut, firm, apple-shaped bottom, Danielle delighted in the naughtiness of it all. The translucent orange triangle of fabric that framed her immaculately manicured landing strip, and the spider waistband (really three pencil thin bands of fabric that mimicked a web) that attached it to its whale-tailed back, which bisected her perfect ass, made for a spectacularly sexy vision.

She then put on the black "spider-web" lace garter belt, hung with orange garters, and began to roll the diaphanous, sheer, black thigh highs up her spectacularly well exercised legs. After attaching the orange lace welt topped stockings to the awaiting orange garters, Danielle stepped into a pair of black Christian Louboutin stilettos with 5" high, thin, shiny, silver heels.

Finally, the preening socialite put on the spider web lace adhesive bra that would permit her to push up her 34Cs even more than usual while also letting her wear a backless gown without worry of some fashion

faux pas

. Although God, genetics and a tireless discipline to fitness had graced the lovely Mrs. Parnell with the pert and perky breasts of a 20 year-old, she did not deem it appropriate ever to go braless. The sexy backless bra, while deliciously scandalous, would even in hiding preserve her modesty beneath her elegant frock.

Before putting on her custom-made gown, but only after sporting hanging diamond earrings, a red carpet worthy diamond necklace and a flawless diamond tennis bracelet - nearly 40 carats in all - Danielle turned to the full length mirror in her cavernous walk-in closet to drink in her favorite site. What she saw in the reflection would have put the makers of Viagra and Cialis out of business. "You're perfect," she cooed sexily to herself before, intoxicated by her own beauty, she turned to the side and, bending over at the waist, reached down to the floor and, fantasizing wantonly about Mrs. Ross' strapping husband, coquettishly said, "excuse me Mr. Hess, I must have dropped something." Imagine what that hunky Adam Hess, that fool Ross' husband, would actually do if he saw me like this she thought - well he never will - the loser.

With that Danielle proceeded to slip into the floor length wrap-around gown. The bespoke designer dress was tied with a silk-bow behind her supple neck. In the front, the hanging silk plunged down to the crest of her gorgeous breasts. There was no back. The bottom portion was essentially a wrap-around skirt kept up, and also attached to the front of the dress, by a large diamond encrusted spider brooch that sat on Danielle's left hip and held the dress together by way of a clasp hidden underneath. While breathtaking, the dress was also quite "appropriate." Although the wrap-around in the front went all the way to Mrs. Parnell's waist, there was a sufficient overlap of fabric to only give a modest view of her legs - to just above the knee - as she walked. Only she would ever know what was underneath it all - or at least so she thought.

Satisfied with the vision of beauty before her, Danielle draped a black mink stole over her fit bare shoulders for the brief ride to the clubhouse and walked out to the waiting sedan. She was in heaven - prepared again to leave the normally flaccid husbands of Davidson aching over her splendor while rejoicing in how the attention they would lavish on her would humiliate and degrade their costumed fools of wives.

Had she not been awash in her own egoistic daydream, the imperious Mrs. Parnell may have seen the family nanny Alia, along with Danielle's three kids, trying to waive her down in the driveway. A crying Maria had just informed her brother, sister and nanny that George - Will's tarantula -- had escaped at the Halloween party. Alia had hoped to tell her boss beforehand about the mishap but now, knowing she didn't dare interrupt Mrs. Parnell at the party, she and the Parnell kids would need to mount a rescue mission in secret. With 13 year-old Will as the mission's master-mind, and after gathering some glass jars, digging up some worms and collecting some small lizards and beetles that Will usually fed to George, the kids and Alia rigged two fishing poles with hooks and headed for the club house.

Stepping from the town car that had just rolled up to the clubhouse entry way, Mrs. Parnell prepared to wow the neighborhood as usual. Walking into the lobby for the second time that day, Danielle drank in the collective gasp from the gathered men who - to her heartfelt delight - couldn't peel their eyes from her gorgeous form. With a bit more sway in her hips than usual, the elegant Mrs. Danielle Parnell click-clacked her way down the marble hallway to the banquet room. As she strutted past the collection of mothers that she had tolerated earlier in the day - each of whom was still in costume -- Mrs. Parnell could sense the "stench" of their jealousy and humiliation - she loved it. For their part, the neighborhood's other women stared daggers at the preening narcissist.

"Oh . . . . I simply loathe that snob," seethed Rebecca Ross.

Mrs. Silver, who had already downed more than a few cocktails, offered a less guarded assessment. "I'd like to put that little show-off over my knee and spank that bottom she so loves to wiggle in front of our husbands. That would show her a thing or two."

"I would sure love to see that," smiled Rachel Miras.

"Me too," said Mrs. Wray and Mrs. Ross in chorus, as each of them thought to herself about what a hysterical scene that would be. Too bad it would never happen. Or would it?

Checking her mink stole with a hostess, Danielle made her way to the bar for a drink. Despite any number of neighborhood men falling over themselves to offer her one, much to the chagrin of their crest fallen wives, Danielle would not give even one of them the time of day. To the contrary, she took the opportunity to sneer at them with disdain believing it made them lust after her even more - pathetic oafs. Poor Adam Hess got the worst of it when, in trying his part to get Danielle a drink, he lightly grabbed her elbow from behind to get her attention.

"Get your hands off me, Mr. Hess," she very loudly and publicly chided him, "just because your wife is dressed as an ass doesn't mean you should behave like one."

Poor Adam was both embarrassed and cut to the quick as he shuffled off to try to explain to his equally humiliated wife Rebecca that it was all a misunderstanding. Rebecca, who with the donkey head still in place was being ridiculed roundly by guests, was steaming. Danielle on the other hand loved it all - collectively shaming that "overstuffed" Ross and her handsome but half-witted husband had been the highlight of her night so far.

With her own husband having cancelled due to work, Mrs. Parnell took a seat at her assigned table for dinner. That she was seated with the boyish Mrs. Wray and the already intoxicated Nicole Silver only cemented in her mind how much more desirable she was than this group of desperate

haus fraus

. Their two husbands, Mr. and Mrs. Miras, Rebecca Ross and Adam Hess rounded out the group of nine at Danielle's table. To further exert her "dominance" over Rebecca, Danielle took a seat right next to Mr. Hess.

The banquet hall was well decorated given the prosperity of the community. There were scarecrows and pumpkins aplenty, along with your share of ghosts and skeletons. Orange filters had been installed over the lights to give the room an eerie glow while dry ice machines, blown by heavy industrial fans set at their lowest level, completed the creepy ambiance. In the center of it all, smack in the middle of the dance floor and ultimately surrounded by the well-appointed dinner tables - sat a giant cast iron cauldron filled to the brim with water upon which at least a bushel of apples floated gingerly.

As wine was poured and small talk was exchanged in the clubhouse, the Parnell kids and Alia were taking it all in from one of the large open windows looking into the banquet room. With his G.I. Joe Adventure Set night vision goggles, Will had managed to spot George crawling along the dance floor. Thankfully, and in large part due to the low lights and dry ice mist, no one else had yet spied the hairy fellow. Unfortunately for Will, as he watched George amble along it was clear that the tarantula was headed right toward his own mother's table.

"We've got to do something fast or mom will kill us," implored Will.

Alia knew he was right. If Mrs. Parnell saw George herself, no matter the explanation young Maria might offer, Alia would be out of a job.

"Okay, let's bait a hook with a lizard and then see if we can't cast the line under the table," said the nanny. "Once George starts eating we'll be able to pull him out of there and get back to the house - no harm, no foul."

The Parnell kids did as Alia said and were quickly ready to save George, and themselves, from further peril. They had managed to move to a window directly outside their mom's table to increase their odds of success. Now it was go time. With as much finesse as he could muster, 13 year old Will reared back with the fishing pole and cast the line through the window. As the weighted line flew floor-ward the small lizard meant as a meal for George unexpectedly came loose from the hook and landed squarely in the cleavage of the now completely tipsy Nicole Silver. Shocked by the reptilian visitor perched between her rather sizeable breasts, the booby, red-headed "slutty police woman" jumped from her chair with a twofold effect. First and foremost, her drunken attempt to dislodge the lizard caused the knot at the base of her police "uniform shirt" to come undone thereby unleashing her bare 36Ds. Second, she managed to spill her entire glass of red wine onto Danielle's lap.

"You fat cow, you've ruined my dress," shouted Mrs. Parnell at Mrs. Silver, as the latter attempted to retie her shirt. "And cover yourself! Perhaps if you wore clothes that fit . . . and a bra . . . you wouldn't end up in such a shameful situation . . . it's so inappropriate."

But before Nicole or anyone could respond, the glowering Mrs. Parnell saw George running under the table right at her fashionable Louboutin shoes. Leaping almost out of those shoes in surprise, the haughty socialite inadvertently intercepted the course of the still flying fish hook. The hook in turn, to what would soon be the delight of all but one person in attendance, snagged onto the clasp beneath the brooch that held Mrs. Parnell's elegant dress together - and through the dress itself - a fact that went unnoticed by anyone in the sudden commotion of the moment.

While that commotion continued inside the banquet hall, it appeared (falsely as it turned out) that outside success was at hand.

"Got him," shouted Will as he felt some tension on the line and prepared to reel in what he thought was his pet to safety. From their slightly changed vantage point outside the window, the kids and Alia no longer had a line of sight into the goings on inside. Believing they had George on the line, all that remained was to pull him to safety.

Back inside, Danielle's attention had turned completely from the now redressed Nicole Silver to the creature about to climb onto her shoe.

"Get it

away

from me," Mrs. Parnell shrieked to no one in particular as she began to beat a path toward the dance floor in fear of the hairy creature.