[Beware the Ganja Grenades!]
[Author's notes: Warning! This is Humor and Satire story. If you need to give a lecture about faithfulness or STDs, give it to your own wife. It involves a variety of sexual activities, including same sex activities and incest. For those who don't like these themes please move along. Constructive comments are appreciated, hate speech will be deleted.]
Ben Dover and his wife Tracy are at church when the first attack is unleashed. Four Ganja Grenades are thrown simultaneously from four different sides of the octagonal worship hall. Thick green smoke envelopes the crowd of worshipers as they cough from too much smoke at once. Reaching for Tracy, Ben passes out.
"Are you OK, honey?", a masked woman in pink spandex asks him, her suit covering exactly the reverse of what a bathing suit would cover, leaving her firm 32C breasts, fire engine red pussy, and muscular fine tight ass on display. He thinks he recognizes her voice. He thinks he recognizes her long red flowing hair. He knows it's his wife, Tracy.
"Tracy?" he calls out plaintively.
"No Tracy here. I'm Cuntwoman. You're Buttman. We're a crime fighting duo. Yes, we are husband and wife, but the nature of our crime fighting powers requires us to sleep around. Just as with everyone else here in the Hall of the Sexual Justice League." She says clearly, and he knows it is true. He's sees Dickman (sheesh, he really should put that thing away before he pokes someone's eye out), a 6'6" lanky dude, about 180 pounds, with size 18 feet and a size 15 inch cock. Titwoman (is 36FF a real bra size?) is a latin / polynesian mix on a 5'6", 150 pound luxury chassis, customized with long straight dark hair. Asswoman (should have been his soulmate but they broke up in college), another latin crossbreed with at least a 42C chest on a 5'4" 180 pound very softly padded chassis and booty for days. Lezwoman (always has eyes on his wife) a dark Romanian Ashkenazi Jewish princess, checking in at a sleek 34B 5'7" 150 pounds. Ballman (how can a nutsack hang so low yet be so big and furry?), the Scotch/English mutt with a 5'11" frame, 180 pounds of man, and two solid tennis balls weighing a pound each in his nutsack, which he often ties around his cock for comfort. Clit Cat (how does one get a clit that big?), built on a petite 5'2" chassis, a real knockout at 120 pounds. Clusterfuck (five military guys of indeterminate sexuality and standard equipment), of various height close to 6', and various trim athletic figures close to 185.2734 pounds. Buttman sees the angelic Bald Virgin (able to seduce but never produce), a rare blonde with an innocent face, 5'4" and a thin 120 pounds. Bad Ass (a reformed biker with a serious bisexual bent) sides of his head shaved with piercings enough to completely frustrate a TSA search, 6'4" and 200 pounds more. Buttman sees the Flaming Cuckold, flouncing in his pink panties, at 6'2" and 195 pounds just a bit too heavy to be flouncing. Then there is his wife Shameless Slut, a voluptuous goddess built on the standardized Racquel Welch / Jayne Mansfield boner approved chassis. No non-gay male could say no to her, and she always said yes to them. At 5'7" tall enough to dominate other women, yet with 36DD breasts and a trim 150 pounds, easily spankable. There were many, many others, all well known household names. Our leader, Beaver Splitter (6'1" 250 pounds, close relative of either George Clooney or Pierce Brosnan) takes the podium.
"We have been attacked, most likely by the Moral Minority. Their repression of sex in our society must come to an end! They are undoubtedly going to escalate criminal activities to try to sell the Immoral Majority on their prurient, self serving restrictions. No more Guilt! Use your crime fighting powers to cock block their crime wave and take them down, shorts and all! All the young women cum with me! The rest of you, deploy back to your neighborhoods and monitor your police scanners. Handle each call as if the future of our country depends on it! It does!" Beaver Splitter urges us, as he ushers the young women back to his chambers, no doubt seeking to discover and develop their crime fighting powers too. Reinforcements would be a good thing in a National crisis.
We are no sooner in the car, than we get a call "Domestic disturbance, 1423 Dorothy NE". "Step on it!" Cuntwoman cries out, as I floor the accelerator on the red Prius. We are only blocks away, and are the first responders.
"You take the wife. I'll isolate the husband." Cuntwoman says, the red hair around her tight pussy glistening with arousal. This is what we do. This is what we live for. She arches her back, thrusting out her breasts, as she moves toward the yelling husband. He is an average height latino, dark and swarthy, maybe 5'7", essentially the same height as my wife, 150 to 175 lbs, maybe a little heavier than she is, dressed in a wife beater undershirt and tighty-whitety briefs. My sexray vision detects he is only about average in endowment. Cuntwoman does not hesitate. She swipes a hand down into her sweet slit, then in a beautiful circular block inserts her fingers into his open mouth. He instantly stops yelling and starts putting his best Latin lover moves on my wife. She is prepared for him, yanking down his briefs, doing a sweep kick to take his legs out, midair pommel horse dismount, as she jams his now hard cock into her tight pussy. He is grunting and thrusting inside her before their knees even touch the carpet.
I turn my attention to his wife. Luxurious 36DD breasts that are deliciously bloopy, sexray vision confirms they haven't been touched in a week. I immediately execute two outer circular blocks over her arms, bringing my hands up inside, trapping her arms against my body as I fondle her nipples, rubbing them through her faded camisole and pinching them to get her attention. She does not stop yelling, and even gets louder as she sees her beloved Marcos fucking my wife right in front of her. Well, I tried to be nice. My hands pull down her sweatpants, as they glide over her luxurious well padded ass, her 5'4" 135 pound to 150 pound frame easily overpowered by my 5'11" 200 pound torso. But the "Arooh?" look on her face when my thumbs slide into her asshole is priceless. Quiet now, I use my thumbs to pick up my ass puppet, and drop her mouth on my 8" thick cock. My fingers enter her wet cunt as my index fingers tease her clit, while my thumbs make the ass puppet suck, just enough to get me fully hard. Sexray vision confirms her asshole was virgin until my thumbs arrived, and her cunt hasn't been filled in two weeks. Neglected Harpy Syndrome (NHS), we see it all the time. My duty is clear.
Flipping my thumbs, I spiral her into the air, end over end, timing the landing to have her soft butt bounce once on my legs as I sit on their couch, only for that same soft butt to bounce off my washboard abs and drop her sweet cunt onto my cock. She hasn't felt anything like that in a long time, and she starts grinding into me, as I finger her clit. She needs a good long ride, and I intend to give it to her.
Cuntwoman has telepathic powers when it comes to fucking, and switches Marcos into a nice slow 69. Good training to help relieve NHS, if she can only remember to give him the command to do it often while he is still under the effect of her pussy hypnoslime. Seeing her giving him the nice slow blowjob I myself crave reminds me to pay more attention to my wife's clit and less to her ass, as I gladly realize that might be the key to getting more of both.
Time for the main event. I start sliding fingers into her cunt along with my cock, then out to rub her rosebud, rubbing and lubing, rubbing and inserting, rubbing and fingering, rubbing and thrusting. Then in a quick motion as my hand holds her brown star open, I simply change holes, fucking her thoroughly as she moans. My fingertips return to her clit as I slowly pick up the pace to put the boots to her. I have the strangest feeling that I know this woman, because she looks so much like the porn star Yurizan Beltran, but that thought doesn't help me at all. My self control is gone, and I am wailing on her ass, forcing her to stand and bend over to grab their coffee table, as I smash my cock into her fluffy butt, over and over until it's over. Marcos is now standing, being sucked by my wife as she reaches climax the old fashioned way – with her own fingers. Marcos is spurting into her open mouth, and fuck me, that's hot, I so seldom get to see the come as she always wants it in her cunt because then it has to be licked out again. We have all come, and peace is restored.
We leave as the police arrive, the large black male officer shaking my tainted dick in thanks, his busty blonde partner giving my wife a lip lock and fingering that just goes on and on. I'm not in a hurry, but another call has come in. Blondie slips a business card into the spandex below my wife's tits then reluctantly pats her pussy and lets her go. "Thanks, we couldn't do it without you!", the cops say in unison as they kiss hotly. My sexray vision confirms they both play for both teams.
"Bank robbery, 2100 Eubank NE" - "Quick, call for reinforcements!" I yell to Cuntwoman, who is licking her fourth finger clit radio ring to get the right frequency, occasionally moaning as the clit ring focuses the energy to her own clit instead. It is a powerful weapon, one I can only trust in her hands. I've seen her take down a charging bull dyke at fifty paces with it – a weapon truly to be feared. But she is quick, and she is good, and her licking gets to the SJL emergency frequency "Calling for backup, bank robbery at 2100 Eubank, can anyone respond with us?"
"Lezwoman here, I'll be there lickety-split!" she calls out boldly.
"Clit Cat here, I'll be there to rub them out!" she calls out bravely.
