It was an accident. Anita will tell him it was an accident. Accidents will happen. That won't placate Doug. So, I'll grab a beer and watch a movie and wait for the inevitable pounding on my door. With any luck, I'll escape with only a black eye and a split lip. Maybe I deserve them...
Doug and Anita live right next door. I've known Doug my whole life. We were best buddies until we went to different colleges. Via independent routes, we ended up back in our hometown. The steel mill has closed down, but the town replaced that single employer with a bunch of tech firms and the like. Both Doug and I ended up in adjoining buildings do similar work for two quite different firms. We both saw great potential in the old steelworker's neighborhood. Well-built houses for a steal in a market that could only go up. 950 and 952 Birch Road hit the market within days of each other and Doug and I became proud homeowners in short order. The houses would need a lot of work, but the investment would pay off big time.
Doug met Anita in college, and they tied the knot not long before we bought our houses. I was pleased and honored to be Doug's best man, but I will admit that for a moment there when Anita was being escorted down the aisle by her father, that I hoped she would end up standing next to me instead of my best friend. Anita is a stunning brunette with a china doll face, crystal blue eyes, and the cutest of noses. She stands five-five, has an incredible figure with nice tits and legs to die for. I managed to hide my jealously before and after the wedding. Still, I envied Doug his Bermuda honeymoon with such a ravishing bride.
I'd done my part as the perfect best man. At the reception, I delivered a wonderful toast with brilliant bon mots that brought out both tears and laughter from the assembled revelers. The week before; I saw to it that the stripper I hired, a fiery Philippina, with a spectacular compact little body saw to his needs with astonishing gusto after she shed the last of her costume. Anita never heard about her husband-to-be lying prone on the floor while the stripper sat on his face as she sucked him off. Doug claimed, afterward, that it was "heavenly."
Anyway, Doug, Anita, and I had a pretty lassie-fair thing going on. Basically, an open-door policy while we were undergoing simultaneous renovations. Doug and I split the cost of tools and rentals, saving both of us money. We checked in on each other and lent a hand wherever it was needed. Doug would walk in or me and I'd walk in on Doug. We only locked our doors at night.
I had an off day while the computer guys at work were installing the new upgrades, so I took advantage of the time. I had just laid a new floor in the sunroom and this was my opportunity to get the linoleum down. The bare wooden floor was coated in adhesive. I was manipulating the roll of linoleum in preparation of laying it in place when Anita came breezing into the room, a plate of just-baked chocolate chip cookies in her hands. "Doug?" - that was all she got out. She hit the slick floor, proceeded to slide across it like a speedster stealing second base while also managing to upend my open bucket of glue and getting it all over her.
"Anita!" I cried casting aside the linoleum. The thing about linoleum is that you have to get it in place fast. The adhesive is quick-drying and tough as nails once it's set and here was my best friend's wife coated in it from ankle to chin in the stuff. I had to work fast!
Anita sputtered. "Wh... Wha... What is this stuff, Mike?"
