A Cautionary Tale

The following diary excerpts were submitted as evidence in the trial of one Mr. Albert C. Gradulunk.

*

Tuesday, November 13

I was late to work again, and this time my boss said something because I missed an important meeting. I made some excuse about traffic, figuring I shouldn't tell him the real reason I was late. I thought I could make it quick this morning, but I had such a great fantasy in my head and, well, one thing led to another and before I knew it I'd spent a good 45 minutes.

I really need to get hold of myself (hah! Not that way!) and control this behavior. That's it. I'll go the next week without masturbating. I quit smoking, so I know I can do this.

Wednesday, November 14

Nothing to it. Sure, I woke up with the usual morning erection, and even started stroking myself before I remembered that I'm taking the week off. Work was busy all day and after that dinner meeting I'm exhausted. Even if I wanted to tonight, I'd be too tired.

Thursday, November 15

Remember when you were in junior high school and you'd get those spontaneous erections at the most inopportune times, like just before the teacher called your name and asked you to come up to the board and tell everybody where along the track the two trains are going to collide? The same sort of thing happened to me today, although I managed not to embarrass myself. I had one scare at the beginning of a staff meeting, but thankfully it subsided before I had to get up and give my presentation.

Two whole days without masturbating in the morning or at night. I don't miss the nights so much as the mornings. That always woke me up even better than exercise. But I'm determined to make this work.

Friday, November 16

I woke up in the middle of the night from a very vivid erotic dream. I was fondling myself and stroking. It's only been since Tuesday and already I'm starting to doubt whether I can make it through the week. Does it count if I masturbate in my sleep?

Work was difficult. I had to spend most of the day at my desk, hiding my arousal from everybody else. I even turned down a lunch invitation from Susan because there's no way she could have missed the tent in my pants had I stood up. This would have been our third lunch together in two weeks, and the first one she invited me to. After all this time, and just my luck that I couldn't accept. She was clearly disappointed. I'll make it up to her next week.

I had to skip happy hour tonight, too. There's no way I could have spent a few hours at the bar eyeing that waitress (Rachel with the beautiful smile, fine ass, nice firm round bre...stop that!) and not come home to jerk off. I might have willpower, but I know my limitations.

Saturday, November 17

I don't know if I can do this. It's only three more days, but I'm about to burst! I knew the weekend would be difficult if I didn't fill my day with something, so I got up early for a bike ride. I've finally got the morning erection under control, but that was small consolation. Do you have any idea how good those women cyclists look from behind as I'm catching up to them? Worse, do you have any idea how difficult it is to ride with a hardon? And I had to pass up the perfect opportunity, too. A stunning woman was stopped at the side of the road trying to fix a flat tire, and I had to pass her by because there's absolutely no way I could have hidden the lump in my bicycle shorts. Damn! I thought exercise would help me take my mind off things, but even after a long ride I had to take a cold shower before it'd go down.

I didn't go to Randy's bachelor party. Any other night I wouldn't be embarrassed at a topless bar, but the way I'm feeling right now I'd probably cum in my pants. If I didn't have to be at the wedding tomorrow morning I'd get rip-roaring drunk tonight so I couldn't get it up even if I wanted to. As it is, I'm considering taping my hands to my legs before I go to sleep.

Sunday, November 18

I didn't tape my hands last night, but this morning my erection just wouldn't go down. So I taped my cock to my stomach. There was no way I could miss Randy's wedding. It was mighty uncomfortable, and kind of awkward when I had to use the bathroom. I got an odd look when I came out of the stall one time. I think the guy heard the sound of the tape coming off the roll that time I had to replace it.

Of course I shaved before I put the tape on this morning. No way I was going to have hair ripped out. But now it itches like crazy and just makes me think about it more. I swear I'm going to make it, though. Only Monday and Tuesday left to go.

Something else I noticed today. I think women can tell that I'm in what you would term a heightened state of arousal. And I think they like it. They're not turned on by the horny jerks who are always making lame come-ons, but they seem to know the effect they're having on me, and enjoy it. Several of the women I danced with at the reception pressed themselves against me and smiled when they felt how hard I was. Even Stephanie, who never even flirted the tiniest bit with me, felt it and asked if she always had that effect on me. Maybe it's all just my imagination, but I think I had a better than even chance of taking one of those women home, but there's no way I was going to get my hopes up and then fail. It's bad enough sitting here trying not to give in to temptation.

I might have to sleep in a cold bath tonight.

Monday, November 19

I didn't even try to get my erection down this morning. I took my shower, dried off, and reached for the tape. It's surprising how fast I've gotten used to the feeling. I swear I've been hard since Saturday evening. I wonder if there's some sort of world record for longest erection.

I saw Susan this morning when I got in, and asked her if she'd like to have lunch. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled and accepted made my cock twitch so hard I thought it was going to break the tape. She looked especially nice today, and I told her so. That got me another smile and another frightening twitch. I figured I'd better go sit down and not take any more chances.

We had a nice lunch, if a little rushed. She knows something is up (haha, not that way, you perv), but has no idea what. Three different times she asked me if something was wrong. I told her everything was fine and that I really enjoyed being with her, but I don't know if she believed it. It's not like I could tell her that it'd been six days since I've masturbated and that finally being so close to her had me harder than I'd been since Mary Jo Slopinsky gave me my first blowjob. If Susan had touched me, it would have been over faster than it was that night in the back seat of my dad's old Chevy station wagon.

Women do notice when a guy is horny. Must be pheremones or something. All the women in the office today were unusually friendly. Any other time, I would have been happy to flirt and tease right along with them. But in my present state there's no telling what might happen. If I could somehow manage not to masturbate for a month, I'd have women throwing themselves at me. Or maybe my extreme horniness is making me see things that aren't there.

Anyway, I think I'm actually going to pull this thing off. (Did you ever notice how many common expressions like "something's up," "pull this thing off," etc. can be construed as having something to do with masturbation?) All I have to do is make it through tonight and tomorrow, and I'll have gone a whole week without masturbating.

Wednesday morning, November 21

My life is over.

Yesterday started like the last three days: with an erection that was almost painful. But I knew that it would be over when I got home from work. All I had to do was remain seated in my office all day, avoid interaction with any women, and keep my mind on my work. After the ritual cock taping job, I headed in to the office.

Things went well all morning. Susan was busy with something when I came in and just gave me a brief smile and "Hello" before turning back to her task. I went to my office and sat down, immersing myself in the current project so as to take my mind off the discomfort of the tape and the itching from my shaved pubic area. Before I knew it, it was 12:30 and I decided I could skip lunch for the day. Only four more hours and I could go home to relieve the pressure that had been building for the last week.

About 1:00, I received an email from an online friend, wondering where I'd been for the last week. The message was accompanied by a little story--a fantasy encounter--that, in retrospect, I should not have read at the time. I could feel my cock straining against the tape, and had to close that message before getting to the end. I then spent the next 45 minutes with my eyes closed, trying to calm down.

Mandy came in at a little after two and sat across from me, wanting to discuss her role in the project. Even in the best of times I had difficulty keeping my eyes from wandering over her body. Yesterday she seemed to be encouraging it. Who could have guessed that discussing a data entry project could be an erotic experience? Every sentence she uttered was punctuated with a sexual reference. She would lick her lips and smile, crossing and uncrossing her legs. When the meeting was over 15 minutes later, she reached out to trail her fingers across my cheek: "Al, you need to relax." I shuddered and smiled, gazing longingly at her shapely ass as she walked out the door.

I finally got myself under control again about 3:00, just in time for Susan to come in and shut the door. I tried to protest that I was busy but she just stood there with her back to the door, watching me silently until I quieted down.

"Al, we've been dancing around each other for months. I've been hoping you'd ask me out. But after lunch yesterday, I don't know if you're interested."

"Susan, I..."

"I'm not done," she interrupted. "Thursday is Thanksgiving, and I don't have any plans. I'd love to make dinner for you--just the two of us. Let me know by tomorrow at noon so I can pick up what I need at the store during lunch."

That said, she turned and walked out, leaving me with a huge smile on my face and my discomfort temporarily forgotten. I looked at the clock: only an hour and fifteen minutes to go. I decided to drop by Susan's desk on the way out and accept her invitation.

When four thirty rolled around, I stood and gathered my things. I might not have been consciously thinking of my predicament, but my subconscious must have been working overtime. My erection was painfully hard, trapped against my stomach, and I had to lean against the wall for a few minutes to settle down before I could make my way--trying not to walk funny--out the door. I stopped by Susan's desk as planned and smiled when she looked up.

"Susan, I can't think of anything I'd rather do on Thanksgiving than spend the day with you."

The smile on her face was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She stood up and launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around me and lightly kissing my cheek. I couldn't do anything but return the hug while trying to keep her away from my erection. We held each other for a few seconds and then she moved away, trailing her fingers down my forearms and looking into my eyes.

"You know, I'm free tomorrow night, too. . ."

I shivered at the possibilities, then squeezed her hands and told her I'd see her in the morning. Just her simple touch, a light kiss, and the intoxicating scent of her hair and perfume had me on the verge of orgasm. I sat in the car gathering my wits for a few minutes and then started on my way home. Only a half hour to go, I thought, and I'd be free of this torture! I rolled down the window, turned on the radio, and eased myself into the rush hour traffic.

Halfway home I remembered that I needed some things from the grocery store. I would have put it off except that Ralph the cat was out of food, and I didn't want him interrupting my plans when I got home. So I stopped at the store, planning to rush in, get that one item, and be on my way.

I made my way through the store, trying not to even look at the women walking around. I recall picking out Ralph's favorite cat food and heading toward the register. Just as I was approaching the express lane, an unbelievably good-looking young woman rushed in front of me, her arms full of items. Placing everything on the conveyor, she turned and smiled at me saying, "Sorry, but I was about to drop this."

She was stunning: about 5'6", light brown hair, a radiant smile. Her large breasts were nicely displayed in a low-cut top, and her nipples were prominent. A very short skirt revealed tanned, toned legs, and simple open-toed sandals accentuated her lovely feet. I could feel pressure on the tape again and smiled as best as I could. "That's okay. I'm not in any hurry."

She smiled and winked, and as she turned around her hand knocked a box off the conveyor and onto the floor. Her skirt rode up as she bent to retrieve the dropped item. I quickly turned away hoping to avert the coming disaster, but she stumbled back against me. In an attempt to keep from falling myself and knocking over the magazine rack, I grabbed her hips and leaned forward. The cat food container flew out of my hand and fell to the floor, splitting open and scattering kitty chunks everywhere.

This prevented us from falling, but had the unfortunate effect of pressing her shaved and thong-covered pussy tightly against my straining erection, which finally broke free of the tape, ripped my jockey shorts, and burst through the zipper of my pants.

The last thing I remember before passing out is my hard shaft pressed against the heat of her pussy as I ejaculated under her skirt. I still don't know if her orgasm was real or a figment of my admittedly overworked imagination.

I awoke sprawled on a mess of cat food, the box of crackers she had knocked off the conveyor poking me in the back. My flaccid penis was sticking out of my broken zipper, and the the woman was standing over me screaming. All I could see was her thong, and my cum dripping down the inside of her skirt. A crowd was gathering and the security guard was rushing over. An older woman thankfully covered my exposed penis with a supermarket tabloid, and the cashier led the still-screaming young woman away from the scene. I struggled to stand but the security guard wouldn't let me get beyond a sitting position until after the cops arrived.

I spent last night in jail and was released this morning on bond after being arraigned on charges of sexual assault, indecent exposure, and four counts of lewd conduct with a child--the last because there were children in the group of people gathered around, and who saw my penis before that woman covered it up. My lawyer thinks we can beat that last charge easily, but the other two will be more difficult. I've also received notice that the young woman who I "assaulted" will be filing a civil suit claiming emotional distress and seeking unspecified damages.

To top it all off, Susan left a message on my cell phone early this morning saying that she couldn't believe she'd been taken in by a pervert such as myself, and that if I ever even tried to talk with her she would seek a restraining order and file charges of sexual harassment. Not that there's any chance of me seeing her again. My boss just called and said that my behavior in the supermarket yesterday is a violation of my employment contract and grounds for immediate dismissal. He will be gathering my things personally and will deliver them this afternoon along with a check covering the balance of my accrued vacation and sick time.

Altogether it's been a horrible week and I need to take my mind off of it. I think I'll go jerk off now.