The following diary excerpts were submitted as evidence in the trial of one Mr. Albert C. Gradulunk.
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Tuesday, November 13
I was late to work again, and this time my boss said something because I missed an important meeting. I made some excuse about traffic, figuring I shouldn't tell him the real reason I was late. I thought I could make it quick this morning, but I had such a great fantasy in my head and, well, one thing led to another and before I knew it I'd spent a good 45 minutes.
I really need to get hold of myself (hah! Not that way!) and control this behavior. That's it. I'll go the next week without masturbating. I quit smoking, so I know I can do this.
Wednesday, November 14
Nothing to it. Sure, I woke up with the usual morning erection, and even started stroking myself before I remembered that I'm taking the week off. Work was busy all day and after that dinner meeting I'm exhausted. Even if I wanted to tonight, I'd be too tired.
Thursday, November 15
Remember when you were in junior high school and you'd get those spontaneous erections at the most inopportune times, like just before the teacher called your name and asked you to come up to the board and tell everybody where along the track the two trains are going to collide? The same sort of thing happened to me today, although I managed not to embarrass myself. I had one scare at the beginning of a staff meeting, but thankfully it subsided before I had to get up and give my presentation.
Two whole days without masturbating in the morning or at night. I don't miss the nights so much as the mornings. That always woke me up even better than exercise. But I'm determined to make this work.
Friday, November 16
I woke up in the middle of the night from a very vivid erotic dream. I was fondling myself and stroking. It's only been since Tuesday and already I'm starting to doubt whether I can make it through the week. Does it count if I masturbate in my sleep?
Work was difficult. I had to spend most of the day at my desk, hiding my arousal from everybody else. I even turned down a lunch invitation from Susan because there's no way she could have missed the tent in my pants had I stood up. This would have been our third lunch together in two weeks, and the first one she invited me to. After all this time, and just my luck that I couldn't accept. She was clearly disappointed. I'll make it up to her next week.
I had to skip happy hour tonight, too. There's no way I could have spent a few hours at the bar eyeing that waitress (Rachel with the beautiful smile, fine ass, nice firm round bre...stop that!) and not come home to jerk off. I might have willpower, but I know my limitations.
Saturday, November 17
I don't know if I can do this. It's only three more days, but I'm about to burst! I knew the weekend would be difficult if I didn't fill my day with something, so I got up early for a bike ride. I've finally got the morning erection under control, but that was small consolation. Do you have any idea how good those women cyclists look from behind as I'm catching up to them? Worse, do you have any idea how difficult it is to ride with a hardon? And I had to pass up the perfect opportunity, too. A stunning woman was stopped at the side of the road trying to fix a flat tire, and I had to pass her by because there's absolutely no way I could have hidden the lump in my bicycle shorts. Damn! I thought exercise would help me take my mind off things, but even after a long ride I had to take a cold shower before it'd go down.
I didn't go to Randy's bachelor party. Any other night I wouldn't be embarrassed at a topless bar, but the way I'm feeling right now I'd probably cum in my pants. If I didn't have to be at the wedding tomorrow morning I'd get rip-roaring drunk tonight so I couldn't get it up even if I wanted to. As it is, I'm considering taping my hands to my legs before I go to sleep.
Sunday, November 18