Biographical Stress

BIBLIOGRAPHY

I looked at the screen and looked at the data fields I was to complete. It had taken me months of coming to the site and reading stories before I could bring myself to create an account. Now here I was weighing how much of myself to reveal to other members of the Literotica community. Even the first question seemed daunting- Gender.

I was torn. I had been writing stories for almost three years and thought some of them fairly good based upon my perusing online erotic sites. I found a female friend willing to read several of them and she provided some feedback, though not as critical as I would have liked, and certainly not what an editor would have subjected them to. Nevertheless, it gave me some confidence. But I really wanted a wider and more critical audience. There really didn't seem to be many options left to explore. I swallowed hard. I was already wandering aimlessly. Come on where is your discipline?

So what was I going to answer for gender? I finally decided that was the least I could do. After all that is pretty basic for most of us and I didn't have much to hide. Maybe an author would be interested in knowing what sex was reading their story. Fair enough, if there was a target audience in terms of gender this would be helpful, at least it would be for me.

What? Weight and height. I wasn't sure this had much to do with anything that would aid an author. I was more interested in a readers interests than their physical attributes. I passed on providing anything here. Pretty much as most members had. After all, what if I were four five and weighed three hundred pounds; how would that affect my reading preferences. I really didn't know and since I'm of short stature I know most people don't take what I say seriously anyway. I looked at the next question.

Hmmm. Location. Now that might prove useful to an author. After all, different regions of the country may be important as story settings may reflect an author's experience in a specific region. Though I could provide some clever nonsensical response. Naw... Ok. Upper Midwest should suffice. Moving on again, not geographically mind you.

Orientation. Well right now I'm facing south. No. No dummy. Sexual orientation. Well that did make more sense for an erotic literature site. An author might actually find this information useful if it was their target audience- 'Straight' went into this slot. Ok. Keep moving. I felt at least I was making some progress.

Interests. Now here was something that would be somewhat revealing about me. About any reader actually. What did they enjoy when not reading, or was reading their main interest? I elected to put down three things that I spent most of my non-work time doing. Easy enough. Not harmful in regards to protecting my privacy yet something someone might find of value. After looking at a few more bios I was unsure. Guess I was a little bit off base as most members left this space without a response. Those that replied with 'Nothing' I wondered about. Was their life that boring that this site was worth spending time on to the exclusion of going out to kick a dog or something equally disgusting and disturbing? Ok. Next.

Status. Ok. This seems easy enough, though I was glad a few members I had checked bios on had provided words that suggested what was best to use- 'Attached' and I was done. I wondered if this was difficult for many as often this was left blank. How often would it have to be changed if you were in and out of relationships all the time? Oh well. Hope my partner keeps me a bit longer. Time to buy a gift. I don't want to have to change this right away.

Smoke, drink. Easy enough. I entered this without a problem. It appeared many members felt the same way. I wasn't alone in letting this reveal something about my personal habits. After all I didn't need to detail 'what' I smoke or drank. Now that would go a bit deeper than I wanted. But who wants to know I drink water. Though I could embellish it with the fact it's non-chlorinated.

Fetishes. No problem here. I didn't have any. Only an over active imagination if anything. But I sure that doesn't mean much. I'm not sure that really meant anything now after reading some of the stories on Literotica. Just let it go. Let someone else fess up. Same ole boring me.

Shoot! I forgot about Age. Did I really want to reveal that? After all that was really very personal and it's generally not polite to ask a woman that question to begin with. Though perhaps that was only a consideration for someone of my vintage and not of any concern to the current generation. Did it really offer something of value to an inquisitive author looking at my bio? Aww...darn it. No response.

Pets. Now there are cat people and dog people and those who have both. I don't have either, though I do make sure to protect those caterpillars in the backyard until they form a chrysalis. I make note of its location and try to be there when the butterfly emerges; but they are not considered pets by most people. They simply emerge, pump their wings up and fly off. Oh, well, give it up- No pets. No wonder I don't have as many story ideas as I would like, pet owners can be pretty weird and I'm simply not.

I look at the completed form and feel a little apprehensive. Maybe I could be a little more creative. Maybe a little more transparent? I linger, wonder, and look at my responses again. I can always go back and change my responses later I guess- but you only have one chance to make a good first impression. Dog gone it. I'm double-guessing myself again. I may as well be writing a story. I find myself changing things so often my story folders look as if they were the product of a committee and not a single person.

I convince myself to just go with what I have. Those who read my stories and comment on them will keep me from getting a big head and keep my feet firmly rooted to the ground. In fact, some of them will probably simply bury me.

Most won't ever read my bio anyway. Darn it. What if they do? Maybe I should go back and just leave everything blank.

Then again. After all what they don't know can't hurt me. Well, maybe it can. Why does this have to be so stressful?