4. BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL WITH THE DRUGS YOU USE. Cocaine ruined my marriage, and I am thankful that's the most it ruined in my life. I tell people I am a recovering addict, but I question that, only because, over the last two or three years, I've been able to partake in a little heroin with my sex and enjoy it without needing it every day. I've seen far too many beautiful people ruin and kill themselves doing what I do because the drugs overwhelmed them. Many start because it's part of the culture, part of the business, part of being a party girl. But these same girls will continue to use it to take the edge off of what they do. Maybe a downer to go right to sleep after a night of work. Maybe some coke here to get themselves motivated, or some painkillers there to numb parts of themselves needing numbing. As I say, this can be a harrowing business, and many girls become addicts because the job can seem like walking into a horror show every single fucking night, and it's all they can do to get through it without screaming their heads off. I am incredibly lucky, I blew a lot of money on coke (Darryl and I estimated we probably blew over a million dollars in narcotics since we've been together), I put myself in many compromising situations, and I never got into deep trouble, knock on wood. I never developed classic tweeking mannerisms, and it never interrupted my health to a point where it would alert people. Then again, I never completely abhorred the profession like many do, so I never did drugs just to get through a date. Now that I call my own shots, I do enjoy my heroin with my sex, maybe once every five or six months. But I am damn lucky—DAMN LUCKY—nothing has happened to me—yet.
5. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH A SITUATION, DON'T DO IT. The entire concept of prostitution involves a woman putting herself in vulnerable situations, usually with men who see her at best a pleasurable business transaction, at worse a dirty whore who deserves the worst. Although there is something intriguing in a streetwalker, it takes a certain mentality to follow a stranger, odds are not the prettiest man in town, into a dark alley or a seedy motel, get on her knees before him, and cradle his manhood in her mouth, when he could do anything to her and most likely say every nasty thing to her, then get up and do it over and over every night. Gangbangs and bisexuality and interracial sex and all the things you see on porn sound alluring, but when Jenna Jameson does it, she has full control of the environment--you as a working girl don't. Much of sex is about power, not beauty, not even pleasure, but what men who are failures in their own lives can take control over you. If you do not want to engage in something that you know could end with humiliation or injury or worse, by all means, walk away. It is not worth your life to go to a coke party, get doped up on some bad shit, and let a dozen guys take turns on you, only to pass out, be left for dead, and wake up in a dumpster like so much trash because they didn't want to have to deal with the police over a two-bit slut. Don't do it unless you have some level of confidence that the situation is safe for you. That is why a solid pimp is necessary, who can screen your johns, who can get dope that is safe, and who has a nose for trouble and will come running. Personal experience also helps, and the more you do it, the more you will learn about the possibilities of the male species, what they will and won't do to you. You'll learn to deal with more complex situations, and hence you have a small degree of control. Still, if you are unsure, don't do it.
6. EXPECT TO BE SHUNNED BY FAMILY. I haven't spoken to my father since I was 16, almost 20 years. He sees my mother in my face and can't imagine how she could be such an angel of a woman and me be such a whore. My big brother is one of the best friends I ever had, but my little brother, who has had a crush on me since we were kids, still treats me like a piece of ass and goes back and forth from trying to talk me into bed to cursing me out for being a slut. My mother died a while back, and though she knew what I do, and though I know it broke her heart, she always treated me like a tragic baby sister, wanting to be the one I talk to about whatever is going on in my life, no one else ever knowing. My family is a mix, and lest I remind you, I am 35, divorced, and without children. If you are a teen, expect your family to disown you, to talk down about you, to argue, to curse, to kick you out until you clean yourself up. To be honest, I couldn't imagine parents who wouldn't kick their kids out if they were living a criminal adolescence. Any woman who sells her body for a living, whether she is a streetwalker, model, stripper, actress, inherently will never have sound marriages or long-term relationships with men, friendly, sexual, or otherwise. It is what it is, because at some point, every man, no matter how understanding, will demand a certain level of loyalty, and it is impossible to prove that to a man when you are giving yourself to others. No relationship can last but a few weeks. That is why dirty girls don't have real friends, they tend to keep with "their own kind", people in the same situation. That is why many strippers are temporary lesbians, because men sicken them and they seek understanding for what they do by someone who is in it with them. That is why Amber and Darryl are my new family, my girlfriend and my pimp, my future spouse and my ex-husband. Again, I count my blessings for having these few people as constants in my life, most are not so lucky. I gave up my relationship with my father for this, and there are times when my heart breaks because I would love to call him, but I can't. I wish my baby brother saw me as a sister and not a piece of ass.
7. NEVER CONDUCT BUSINESS AT HOME. You don't want your clientele to ever have the ability to see you when you don't want them to. Like any other business, success in prostitution involves your ability to lessen the unforeseeable, to maintain professionalism and control of all aspects. Unless you are bringing over someone you deeply trust (and I strongly recommend you do NOT take a dear friend and turn him into a client, it will break your heart every time), always conduct business elsewhere. Streetwalkers know this, that's why they're on the street and in hotel rooms and not selling out of their homes. Escorts know this, that is why business is conducted through agencies and most of the time involve meeting at a neutral location. Whether you enjoy or detest this job, you have to be able to physically separate yourself from it when you are done for the night. You have to feel that you will never have to see the guy you were just with again unless you choose or by dumb chance. Never give a phone number or address. If your john wants you again, let him go through your agency or pimp. Keep all such encounters on a business level, and I know it's a real tough thing to do. Guys will fall in love with you and become possessive and want you; even you will occasionally feel a bond between you and your partner, it's bound to happen, it's sex, for crying out loud. But you must keep your wits about yourself. It is a business. Like any other job, leave your job at the office, don't take it home with you.
8. REMEMBER YOUR ALIASES. My clients all know me by the name Tiffany, and if they know me with any degree of depth, they know me as Tiffany Christian. I'm not telling you this so you can find me and gain my services, but to tell you that you need to create a separate personna, a fake identity, a name. You have to do this. You don't want to attach your personal name to anything you do, you don't want anyone knowing anything more about you than you need them to know. The police can find twenty girls on the street names Diamond, but they have a much harder time tracking Julia Gutierrez. Your name is your anonymity. I've had other aliases, but you need to settle on one, because if you throw out three names--Topaz, Layla, and Lee are three I used to be known as--it becomes harder to keep track of what you've done, if Topaz was with a drugdealer and Layla witnessed an assault. What's more, it will sound almost schizophrenic, but when you do this, you create a separate personality. If you knew me, and you knew Tiffany Christian, you would note several definite differences in character; for instance, Olivia tends to be bookish, articulate, and she loves good conversation--Tiffany talks like a nympho ditz who lets her partner feel smart. Olivia is a bit of a slob because when she comes home from work, she is there to relax; Tiffany is meticulous and subtlely controlling, every detail flawless, every aspect that she can control is. Olivia comes across as a feeling and caring person, Tiffany can only think of sex and what new ways she can get herself and her partner off, no matter who gets hurt. I know I've created my own little Brechtian drama in my own head, having to slip into my Tiffany skin in order to perform. Someone was asking me about that just the other day, why I don't do this every single day, and I said because I need a few hours to step out of being Tiffany and return to myself for a while, then to get myself back into Tiffany. That is a necessity with me, because if I sink into Tiffany for too long, I don't return easily, and that is when I get into real trouble, like addiction or violence. I love being Olivia, and I haven't descended completely into Tiffany for about seven years now. For a night or two or even a long weekend, Tiffany can prowl, and it's fun being her, but at the end of the day, I love Olivia.
9. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY NO. Don't ever think, just because some guy paid to be inside you, you've lost the right to say NO. You are not a slave. You are a woman, a beautiful human being who chooses to present her body in a provocative manner in the hope of selling it. You are not an animal. You are what poets dream about. You are an object of desire. You do have a small degree of control. Use it. You are not a prude for saying NO to a gentlemen who is unclean and you can sense means you harm--quite the contrary, saying NO in such instances is proof of your intelligence! If a guy is into a rape fantasy, and he is frightening you, walk away as fast as you can. Fortunately for me, I have a pimp who is really looking out for me and screens my partners, and he has done so remarkably well, whether it's now with computer sophistication or back then with street smarts. He knows the lines I have drawn, and he doesn't coerce me into doing anything I don't want to do. Many times, though, in the heat of the moment, you are alone with a man or a group of men who frighten you. You don't have to do it. You are not a slave. If you fear pregnancy, say NO if your partner refuses the condom. If he is being a real asshole and is being aggressive, give him his money back and go home. NO means NO, even if you are a prostitute.
10. IF YOU CAN'T LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. That's true for anyone in any endeavor. But if you come home, heart still racing because the speed you took earlier is still raging through you, vagina raw, breasts bruised, dress torn, and you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, stop doing it. You are doing things that society looks down upon, and no matter how hot you look, no matter how much you get for your efforts, no matter how famous or infamous you become, you are still breaking a Commandment, you are giving God the middle finger. Amber is a screamer in bed, even with me, and her eyes are shut tight, because she tells me, every time she is with a partner, every time she feels her pussy filled, she sees the ugly and laughing faces of about seven teenagers who raped her when she was in high school. She is a gorgeous woman who now works with me and my Darryl, I've known her for a decade, but her addictions hit her a little harder than it did me, and she has a couple of the tweeker mannerisms I seem to have avoided. She should stop what she is doing, but she doesn't know anything else except to spread her legs. She has a tough time looking herself in the mirror, and she has tried to get out if it the only way she can think of, marriage. Well, three divorces and two children she lost custody of, a high-school dropout who can barely read her name, and a body still vivacious enough to draw four figures a night, and it's clear that, though she needs to get out, she never will. She is very unhappy, and her thing these days is painkillers. She will die before she is 40, I am convinced of it, which is nothing new, as I have said, the most beautiful women in the history of mankind all died broken.
Above all, I do not recommend my lifestyle to anyone out there. But if you are convinced that you should try, I hope this helps. Write to me and tell me how it goes.
