Thrown together with putty, electric tape and the finest stolen furniture, swing clubs dot the landscape. Hidden like camouflaged hunters in the dense underbrush, venues of questionable morality — whether they be churches, or sex sheds — are ubiquitous.
Rifle through the glossy, substantial pages of your local adult rag, and you're bound to uncover advertisements for a few. Better yet, commence Internet investigation for these nearly invisible prey. Don't be stupefied to discover one three blocks from your house.
You won't find these locales showcased beside the latest from the Nordstrom Rack. Jack Nicholson will pose in Playboy, before screw shacks are accepted in mainstream society.
Forbidden fruit, swing clubs are modern-day oases for the parched traveler succumbing to the arid, lifeless drone of contemporary existence. Hotter than crankin' the heat on a summer day in the desert, play palaces are fuel for fantasy. Males will woolgather about them in the dark, while strengthening their wrists, but few will enter their inner sanctum.
"What does a typical swing shack look like?" you query.
There's no standard answer to that, as all sex shanties are different. Some are private homes, while others are actual places of business. Many allow overt nudity, and a multitude have a dress code. There are sleazy locales in sleazy parts of town, and there are upscale venues in opulent areas.
Hence, when it comes to dissolute domiciles, we're talkin' variety.
Most porn palaces will probably have at least a TV or two playing XXX flicks. You're likely to encounter a hot tub, or tubs, and ― on occasion ― a pool. Beds ― either in public rooms, or private ― are a common feature. Some locales have lockers, where customers can store their clothes; others don't.
Dark lighting, and black lights, aren't uncommon. Condom machines, theater screens, and the occasional bar are also amenities you may come across — so to speak.
"So, how do I find swing clubs near me?"
As with so much information these days, details and locations of screw shacks can be uncovered online. I'd bequeath specific Web addresses, but such isn't permissible on Literotica. Should you be interested, though, drop me a message, and I'll impart the cache of resources I've accumulated over the decades.
A thorough Google search will provide you the initial information you need to get started.
Whenever possible, call the location you plan to visit, in order to glean as many details about it as you can. Typical questions solo men should ask would be:
1) Are single males allowed?
2) What's the dress code?
3) May customers wander around nude, and stroke themselves?
Sounds like a bizarre query, but should your best attribute be your erection, that's something you'll wanna show off.
4) What's the entrance fee?
This will often vary from weekdays to weekends; from afternoons to evenings. Perpetually busy times will be more expensive.
5) What days/nights is the venue open, and what are their hours?
Since so many people have weekends off, that's when they tend to play. Mondays at these locales may be far less expensive, but if nobody's present, that does you no good.
This asserted, you don't wanna frequent an establishment that's so overpriced on the weekends it leaves you insolvent.
Steer clear of cum clubs with a dress code. Their entrance fees will be high, and you'll almost invariably be dealing with a singles bar doubling as a fuck facility.
With apparel policies, a pretentious attitude may also be something you encounter. You're not present to compare yearly salaries with folks; you're in attendance because you wanna get laid...a lot!
Before I travel, I conduct fastidious research on the region to which I'm headed. From those who've gone before, you'll learn the best days, nights, and times to frequent various venues. You'll also be privy to insider tips, including erudition regarding regular couples and females, and when they're likely to show up.
Having played with thousands of women at hump havens, what follows is brief retelling of an encounter I engaged in — while in a private room — at a lust lean-to.
Bear in mind, when swinging, each day is a different adventure. Some evenings supersede the hottest orgies oozing from your porn-saturated laptop. Other days will be one-on-one erotic exploits. In addition, prepare for those bouts with dead air that'll leave you feelin' emptier than your your head, after watching 36 non-stop hours of Dancing With the Stars:
Hillary Clinton's tits were huge — far bigger than they appeared on TV.
In shock, I stepped back. Squaring off with the nude Secretary of State — in a fur-lined room — I concluded, "Why shouldn't I fuck her? She constantly fucks us."
Brandishing handcuffs, the demented damsel prepared to strike.
"You bitch!" I thought, diving headfirst into an Alex Jones flashback. "No way your New World Order ass is gonna take me to the FEMA camps!"
As the whip-wielding whore and I cautiously approached each other, I understood this wasn't really Hillary Clinton, but rather her doppelganger.
