Subspace and Aftercare Online

When we first meet someone and start to date, We get happy just seeing them, getting a text. That first prolonged kiss that has men grinning like idiots and girls dancing on air.

When you then have sex for the first time, everything in the world fades away, except that other person, and the sensations you feel.

One enters an almost hypnotic state of sensation that... well... let's face it, We all adore and want more of.

Subspace is very similar. Giving one that almost hypnotic trancelike state of bliss. There are, to my knowledge, 2 types of documented subspace. One through the body and other, through the mind.

"Hello! The mind is what puts us there!"

Well yes, but you see it's more than that. Chemicals in your body release as it gets put pleasure then pain, pleasure, pain. Those endorphins just build up until it forces the mind to go into what is known as subspace.

Sex doesn't have to be involved.

That is correct. Sex DOES NOT have to be included for a submissive to enter subspace.

This includes online play with someone's dom ordering self flagellation.

Now, being in this this state can be highly dangerous to the submissive. For in this state, they will agree to pretty much anything.

This includes past what the body can safely endure. It is up to the dominant to realize that the submissive has reached this point and to bring them back to themselves safely.

Slowly bringing the submissive back to themselves as the scene ends.

Another way a submissive enters this state is through fully letting their mind go and letting the dominant take full control of their actions.

Letting the words and voice of their dominant pull them away from themselves. Yes like hypnosis.

Subspace is an altered state of being that in many ways mimics that of hypnosis. So dominants really need to be in full control during a scene, while playing. Both in real life, and online.

Most B.D.S.M. online is sexual in nature. Which brings into play what I see as a third type of subspace. A cross between the two forms above.

The mind puts the submissive into that altered state of being. What the submissive is doing to their body through their dominants control releasing chemicals and endorphins throughout the body. Simply put, a combination of sorts.

Many submissives I've spoken to, tell me that fantasy and reality seem to blend at this point and they can see, hear and feel their dominant. That their dominant is right there with them taking them ever higher.

Due to this, subdrop can and does occur with playing online. Having gradual scene build up and decline help immensely for subdrop to be minimal. It can sometimes not even occur at all.

The gradual build up and decline creates more of a riding the waves effect, that slowly recedes back to the ocean.

Rather than a spike up and cliff drop when everyone climax and then vanish. Which sadly occur too often in my humble opinion.

"So, wanna tell me what the hell subdrop is?"

When we first start to date, It comes natural to hold one another. To cuddle. To help the other person feel good.

Especially after sex.

So basically aftercare in dating is kinda just included naturally without most of us realizing it.

Even online, it is something we require after playing with whom we choose.

Add in the B.D.S.M. element ...You can see where I'm headed with this yeah?

With scenes and play online, it is easy to forget to talk and comfort one another afterwards. We forget at times that in a way, connections go deeper because we are free to show more of our true selves.

Online we are free to be whom we really are at our core if we so choose. Which makes aftercare deeply important.

B.D.S.M. wiki states;

*Aftercare is used primarily to not only ensure the partner feels safe and secure, but can also be a wonderful exercise for the aftercare provider as well, furthering, the nurturing and bond between dominant and submissive. *

A lack of aftercare can be detrimental not only psychologically, but also physically for a submissive due to the aforementioned subdrop and the qualities that make us all who we are.

So remember, take the time after playing or scene to comfort, nurture and sooth your submissive. Make sure they are feeling safe, happy, content and secure, before leaving them to go about your day.

Complete aftercare doesn't just end right then. It needs to extend throughout the subdrop time frame which as stated before occurs for 24-72 hours afterwards as the body regulates itself back to normal.

Not only does this help prevent, and minimize subdrop, but it also helps to deepen that trust that bonds the dominant and submissive together. Heightening that most important part of a Bdsm relationship, Trust.

Remember. Even if online, subspace and the subdrop can and do occur.

And the best way to help it is of course, good ole fashioned aftercare.