Jt's Guide: Eating Pussy

Let's start with the name. First off, it's about as accurate as "blowjob." There isn't any blowing going on, but there sure is a lot of sucking. Same thing with eating pussy, you certainly aren't eating it. You might be licking it or fingering it, but your main point of focus should be the clit. Yep, the pussy has little to do with a woman's climax. You may think you are performing magic with your cock, but in reality you are stimulating nerves which all tie in to the clit. She needs that stimulation to cum. Sure, fucking feels good, but the icing on the cake is the orgasm. If you want your woman to cum, you have to work the clit.

You may say that is nonsense, that your woman always cums when you fuck. Sure, maybe she is one of the very few who needs little to no stimulation on her clit to cum. There are women out there who could come from just playing with their tits. I have met a couple who could get almost all the way there from just spending time caressing their tits and sucking and playing with their nipples. But that type of woman is rare. If your woman says you make her cum when you fuck, she is either unusual or a liar. Don't get me wrong, it feels good, but it is very uncommon for a woman to cum from JUST fucking. Accept that and let's move on. (Oh, yes, it is possible to make a woman cum from stimulating the G-spot, but read my separate story on that.)

So, are you still with me? Did my challenge to your assumptions not scare you off? Then perhaps you really do want to do right by your woman. Congratulations! You are about as common as a woman who cums without clitoral stimulation. Yes, you may get tired of being reminded of that, but it is key.

I guess I should acknowledge there might be women reading this who want some tips on how to perform oral on their partners. Welcome! I apologize in advance if this is geared more towards men, but usually women are better because they know what feels good to them. Men don't have that advantage, so need more help. But there will certainly be information here that you can use.

Let's start with the most important part of giving pleasure to your partner, and that is being able to read the signs. You need to learn how your partner's breathing changes, how her muscles tense, how her head moves, what her hands are doing, what she is saying, or not saying. If her feet are doing a rhythm on your back, she MIGHT be approaching an orgasm.

You have to pay attention. Sometimes these changes can be subtle. Many women are shy about telling their partner what to do and what feels good. Maybe they think it comes across as being bossy, or as criticizing you. Have a conversation with your partner before you start. Tell her you are trying to learn how to do a better job of making her cum. She'll appreciate that. It may take her a while to learn to communicate her needs, and some women never will. But be patient and listen to what she tells you. Women can be as subtle in the bedroom as they are out of the bedroom. We sometimes have to read between the lines to know what they really want.

The second most important factor is speed. Do you like it when a woman puts your cock in her mouth and is off to the races, her head bobbing up and down in a blur? Few men do. We like that slow, seductive blowjob, watching her take it down inch by inch, licking her way, making eye contact as she slowly devours your cock. She may lick along the side and underneath, playing with the head with her tongue before she slowly swallows it again. Then she... Oh wait, sorry, got carried away there. This isn't about blowjobs. But there are similarities. She is paying attention to what you react to. You should do the same. And go SLOW! The seduction is part of the process.

Now having said that, sure there are times when you just go in and get it done. Just as there are times when you are both horny as fuck and just need it. You may not even get undressed, just unzip, pull them down and fuck. Five minutes later it is over and you both feel good. Same thing here, if you have been on a date and flirting all night, kissing and playing touchy feely, she may just want you to get down there and make her cum. Once again, it is about reading the signs. More often than not, she will appreciate you taking your time.

So let's say you have her in the bedroom, or wherever your favorite place for doing the dirty is. What do you do? How do you start? Start at the top, literally. She needs to be worked up. Nothing good ever happens dry. Begin with the kiss. Draw her to you and kiss her slowly, passionately. Put your soul into your kiss. Too many men, and women, don't think about what they are doing when they kiss. You are communicating. Is it a kiss on the cheek in the morning by the coffee pot? Is it a quick peck as you head out the door? Is it a long, lingering kiss as you leave on a business trip that says "I'll miss you and can't wait to be back?" Each one of those is communicating your emotions, your thoughts at that moment. If your intention is to make magic with your mouth, then start with the kiss. Let her know your intentions by how you kiss her. It is the ultimate foreshadowing of what is to come. (See what I did there?)

All joking aside, give it your all from the very start. Communicate your intentions with your kiss, your hands, your eyes. From the beginning, let her know that you have a treat in store for her. Take her in your arms and embrace her, body and soul. If you are giving less than 100%, don't bother. I'm assuming you want to do this well or you wouldn't be reading this. There are some men who aren't interested in giving oral to their partner, but they are NOT my target audience. So I'll ignore them. Likewise there may be some women who truly don't enjoy receiving oral. However, many women who say that have never had a partner who did it well. Sex may do more for them. If your partner says she doesn't like oral, have a conversation with her about it. What part of it doesn't she like? Does it feel dirty? Is she worried about her own hygiene? Is she nervous about you getting up close and personal with her pussy? Talk to her about it. Try to find ways to ease her anxiety. Sometimes a couple of stiff drinks will do it. I don't mean get her drunk, but take the edge off, release some inhibitions so she is more relaxed about giving it a try. Every woman is different, so if she has some issues with you going down on her, you are going to have to work that out on your own. I don't know her, you do. Can't help you there.

Assuming your partner is open to the idea (or more likely has been begging you to do it), let's begin. Make sure you have plenty of time. This can't be rushed. The best orgasms come from a slow build. You may spend 20 or 30 minutes before you even touch her pussy. I promise you, if you do that, she will be craving your tongue by then. If your partner likes romance, light a couple of candles, put on some mood music, take the kids to the baby sitter. No interruptions, no excuses, no rushing.

Even though YOU shouldn't, let's jump right to the good stuff now. If you want to know more about the seduction process, check out my other stories. So you have her in the bedroom and her clothes are off. Time to jump in and start licking that pussy like it's a cherry popsicle. WRONG! You still work your way there. If your partner isn't ticklish, massage her feet, kiss her toes. If she is really into having her feet played with, you can even suck on them. Treat her whole body as a receptacle for your attention. Rest her foot on your shoulder and caress her calves. Run your hands up and down her legs, kissing them and moving closer in as you do. Place her legs back down onto the bed and push them apart. Look into your partner's eyes as you do. Communicate the desire you feel for her. It's amazing what a difference that makes.

As you begin to bend down, rub your face along her inner thigh. Kiss her gently there, just soft, slow kisses. Again, if she is ticklish you might need to skip this and move on. Most women lose some of their sensitivity to tickling once they become aroused, so if you took your time getting here, she might still enjoy it. Give it a try.

Continue the kissing as you work yourself closer to her crotch. Stop at the crease of her leg and kiss and lick her there. Tease her with your tongue in that crease the same way you plan on teasing her when you get to her pussy. Spend a little time there and then slowly move your mouth toward her wet spot. When you are only about an inch or so away, taking your time of course, move as if you are going to put your mouth on her, but skip right over to the other side. Gently exhale as you cross over so she can feel your breath on her skin. Do what you just did, but in reverse. Start kissing her leg at the crease while your hands caress her thigh. Kiss your way to her knee, nuzzling your cheek against her from time to time as you go. Mix it up: kiss, lick, nuzzle, caress.

Once you have made the entire trip down and up, begin the journey once more, slowly approaching her mound. This time instead of crossing over, hesitate over the sweet spot and lower your face so your nose grazes her pussy lips. Let it slide up and down, just lightly teasing her. Again, blow gently as you are doing this. If she is getting wet by now, this may make a chill run through her. NOTE: Never blow air inside of her. This can rarely cause problems, but it's best to just not do it. It probably doesn't do anything for her anyway.

Move your nose up so it passes over her clit. If she is still not fully aroused, you may have a hard time knowing exactly where it is. So just rubbing in the general area is fine. Now that your mouth is over her pussy lips, kiss them gently and softly, more tease than full contact. Let her know you appreciate her pussy and that you treat it with reverence. At this point, she may push herself up against you or use her hands to pull you down into her. If so, just turn your head and kiss her thighs. YOU control the pace.

You can also bring your hand up and rub across her pussy too, keeping your fingers together, using a circular motion. Also move from side to side with just enough pressure to make her pussy lips rub against each other. Alternate between kissing and rubbing. Pay attention to her body language now. Is she starting to move a little bit? Is her breathing changing? Is she saying anything to you? If you are teasing appropriately, you will notice something. She will be wanting more. Make her wait, but not too long. You can do the kissing and rubbing for a couple of minutes, but then it is time to get more serious with your work.

As you are rubbing her pussy, let a finger separate and glide between her pussy lips, not deeply, but definitely getting between them. Just the tip of your finger should be stroking her, and only for a couple of times before you straighten it back out and rub and kiss some more. Repeat this a few times, alternating between rubbing, sliding your finger between her lips, and kissing. Her juices should be flowing well now. At this point, one of the times you are kissing her pussy, let your tongue duplicate what your finger was doing. Glide it along her slit, then lick the outside of her labia. Kiss them and take them between your lips and gently suck and pull. Be careful with your teeth. You don't like them and neither does she.

She should be reacting in some way as you begin licking her slit. Again, pay attention to her sounds and movements. Is she holding her breath at times? She likes what you are doing. Does she exhale sharply and quickly? That was either very sensitive or painful. If her exhalation is followed by "Stop that motherfucker!" then you will know which. If you are going slowly and focusing on being gentle, it's likely you hit a spot on her that is sensitive. She might not be ready for too much stimulation there yet. Take notes and save that spot for later.

After giving generous attention to her labia and slit, tease her entrance with the tip of your tongue. Flick over it slowly, then quickly, even inserting the tip (just the tip) inside her. But you are still at the teasing stage, so nothing more. If she is reacting well to this, then let's move to the next step. If she isn't reacting well to this, go back and read again. Either you aren't taking your time or you aren't being gentle enough.

During one of the trips your tongue takes between her labia, keep going up. When you get to the top, bring your tongue back into your mouth and go back to kissing. If you know where her clit is, then go ahead and kiss VERY lightly on it, and then kiss all around it. If you don't know where her clit is, then you are about to go hunting. At the top of her slit, sometimes just above it, but usually right at the top, her clit is nestled in among loose skin. It isn't as much as her labia, but it will feel different. The clitoris is made of the same type of tissue as your penis. It will swell and stick out when aroused. You thought all that foreplay up to this point was just for her? No buddy, it's also to make your life easier. If she is aroused, it is much more prominent. If you need more direction than this, check out my other stories.

Use your tongue around the edges, but not on her clit yet. Remember the clit is sensitive, even when she is fully aroused. Many women can't take direct pressure or heavy stimulation on the clit until right before orgasm. You need to work up to it. Kissing it lightly is fine, and you should. Let your tongue play around it, with the top of your tongue and the bottom of your tongue grazing it as you swirl around. To compare it to a blowjob, treat her clit the way your partner teases the head of your cock with her tongue, swirling around it, licking gently, and sucking on the head. I can't emphasize enough to take it SLOW! If you are circling her clit with your tongue, the trip should take a good 5 count at minimum, and even a 10 count is ok. You can vary direction from clockwise to counterclockwise every few swirls. You can also pause the circling and just swipe back and forth above, below, or to the side of the clit. Even occasionally leave it completely and go down to kiss and lick her slit. Just don't stay gone long. This is what you have been working toward.

A well-known comedian when I was younger used to tell men to lick the alphabet. If you have nothing else in your bag of tricks, that's ok, but purely beginner stuff. The first time I tried that, my partner laughed at me. That's not to say there isn't something to be learned. Some letters, like A, C, D, G, J, O, S, and U, can give you an idea for different movements. Vary your technique. Don't do the same thing for very long, and by long I mean no more than 30 seconds tops! You will just desensitize that area. If you find a spot or a method that she reacts strongly to, repeat it for just a few seconds and move on, but remember where you were at and what you were doing. We'll come back to it when she is closer to orgasm. If she vocally tells you "don't stop" or "right there" or "yes!" or something similar, you are doing your job right. Go ahead and stay there for a bit or she'll learn not to give you feedback. Satisfy her request, but then move on to something else.

Hopefully by now you have been slowly licking and teasing for a few minutes. Her body should be moving a little bit and her breathing should be heavier. Is her clit becoming more pronounced? Great! If not, that's ok. Some women have very shy clits that don't announce themselves. Somewhere though, you should feel the harder tissue. Is she not responding much at all? Try using your finger for a little bit, using the same technique of lightly grazing the top and circling around. Maybe your partner needs more pressure and stimulation. Experiment with that, flick your tongue harder across her clit. Not too hard, you aren't trying to flick a quarter across the room. Just place your tongue firmly against her nub and flick it back and forth. As you pass across, there should be just light resistance as your tongue catches on the side before popping loose and sliding over. Still do this slowly, almost agonizingly slow. You want her always wanting more before you give it to her.

Now you can begin to work toward the payoff, her orgasm. From the time you began kissing her feet and legs up to now, at least 10 - 15 minutes have passed. If you can be patient enough to tease longer, that is even better. Ideally you spend 20 to 30 minutes before you hit the final stages prior to orgasm. Working your partner up to orgasm slowly and holding them just shy of it for a few minutes can lead to a much stronger and longer orgasm. It also makes it easier to give her more. Oh, you say she isn't multi-orgasmic? We'll get to that another time.

While you are still slowly playing with her clit using your tongue, let your finger go back to sliding along her slit. Use her wetness to judge how stimulated she is getting. You can start to tease her with your finger, letting the tip play around the entrance to her pussy. Begin to increase the pressure from your tongue. Instead of circling the clit, you can begin to lick it itself. First lightly flick your tongue back and forth across it, side to side, up and down, again going very slowly. Do that a few times and then circle it again. Alternate between these, paying attention to her body language. Does she take a breath when you flick across it? Does her body stiffen? Both are good signs. But they can also mean she is still sensitive there. If so, back off for a moment, but don't give up. Tease her for another minute or two and then try again.

You will have to learn for yourself how to interpret her body language. Women are similar in many ways, but they are also different. What works for my partner might not work for yours. The secret is learning to read your partner and change your technique to suit them. It takes practice, but this might be the most fun practice you'll ever have. "Hey honey, can you meet me in the bedroom? I need to practice!"

Let's get back to work. You are giving her more direct stimulation to her clit, and she is responding well. You hear her moaning or breathing heavily. You can feel the muscles in her pelvis contracting and releasing. She is getting close. Now is the time to recall those spots you may have hit earlier that she responded strongly to. Anytime she vocalized her approval or reacted in any positive way, you need to hit those spots again. Let your finger slide inside her. If you know where her G-spot is, begin to put a little pressure there and alternate with some light rubbing. We'll talk more about the G-spot another time.

Use your lips to suck on her clit if you can. Some women's clits don't extend far enough, even when fully aroused, to accomplish this. If that's the case, you can still nibble, but with your lips, not your teeth! Do it slowly and gently. You are just trying something different to add some variety. A few women really enjoy this, so see how she reacts. Continue varying the technique, from licking around the clit, swiping it with the broad side of your tongue as you circle it, and flicking your tongue across it. As you do each one, monitor how your partner reacts. Whichever she reacts strongest to, that is going to be your finishing move. Usually it is the direct stimulation right on the clit that will do it, but not always. During the buildup, we have emphasized going slow. You can finally begin to increase the speed. In the teasing stages, you should be taking 5 - 10 seconds to circle her clit. As you build, you can speed up, but still taking 2 or 3 seconds to make the circle. Same thing for the flicking your tongue across her clit. When you first do it, think of the beat to a slow Marvin Gaye song. You don't know who Marvin Gaye is? Stop right now and go look him up and listen to some of his music. Done? Ok, let's move on.