How To Just Get Kinky Er

Okay folks, once again in the interest in expanding our sexual horizons for storytelling and hey, maybe a bit of downright nasty fun, we're going to take a look at some various kinks. Please keep in mind that, first of all, I'm not making this stuff up, hell some of this is just too far out there for that to be the case and secondly, I do not necessarily prescribe to or recommend any of these activities in your real life; that is all entirely up to you. As for your fiction, hey you can only fuck a basketball so many ways before wondering if there may not be something else out there. Why not write about it?

In my previous How To article I touched up the ABCs of some pretty kinky stuff. Well now we expose the DEFs of some more kinky and, in at least one instance, some stinky stuff. Please remember while you read, that common sense is a virtue and should be exercised in any re-enactments of these activities. Also, a few things may not be entirely legal, so please check your local statutes.

Are they tears of joy, anger, embarrassment or pain you see in your partner's eyes? Well you certainly should find out unless you are simply aroused by the sight of tears.

Dacryphilia

is the term for people aroused by seeing tears in their partner's (victim's) eyes. Proudly, I can claim that my performance has brought a partner to tears on several occasions; of course I assume it was because I was so damn good. Or was it because she was laughing so hard?

Ah trees, they can make a wonderful scenic backdrop for any story. Of course there are those who want to involve the trees a bit more than others.

Dendrophilia

is when someone is aroused by trees. Trees have been considered symbols of fertility where on certain holidays men would go into the forest and ejaculate on the trees. I guess it's something like now when we go out on the search for that perfect Christmas tree, except instead of jacking off on it, we cut it down, drag it back to our cars, drive it home and cover it with a bunch of crap our kids made as school. And you know, the last time I jacked off on the Christmas tree it took me three weeks to get the sap cleaned off me.

Sex with trees has also been recorded in history. Thomas Gregory, an anthropologist wrote of a South American tribe where one man found an especially nice hole in the tree and abandoned all sexual activity with his wife and girlfriends to make love to a tree. Hmm, has anyone written about fucking a tree? Look for my story "The Vagina Tree" and see. Gregory also reported of another man in the same tribe finding a tree with a hole, which he lined with leaves and had sex with it. Keep in mind guys that poison ivy is that vine with three leaves.

Dogging

has nothing to do with bestiality, it is an English term about when people watch couples having sex in cars. Supposedly, there are actually some parking places where couples will park and have sex, while others watch them. I imagine a sun roof really comes in handy here.

Okay, those of you with weak stomachs might want to skip this paragraph.

Emetophilia

defines those who are aroused by vomit or vomiting. Yes, in some cases men may encourage their partner to overeat and drink. Later, while the partner gives them a blow job, they use their penis to gag them. Wow, imagine the comments you'd get on a story like that.

Well, I guess I better slip back into something a bit more tame.

Erotographomania

describes people with a strong desire to write love letters or poetry. Caution, be very careful here writing the love poetry, some of the stuff I've seen lately is so sappy I could gag. Hmm, but that might be just the ticket for an Emetophile.

Now writers here at Literotica need to be careful when writing about

Felching.

While in one context it is the word for sucking semen out of a vagina or rectum, it also can mean stuffing an animal into those same orifices, a definite no-no here at Lit. Animal lovers, please understand, no animals were injured during the writing of this article.

I gave you kinky, now comes the stinky:

Flatuphilia

describes those who are aroused by flatulence (you know, farting?). Serious flatuphiles have been known to request their flatulent partner to release their gas into the faltuphile's face. Okay, no witty remark on that one, I'll just remain silent but deadly on the subject.

I agree, this is some pretty bizarre and sick stuff, but wow you may find some pretty interesting stuff to write about. Or maybe not. You see, I'm into

Fuckyoucommentaphilia

or someone who is aroused by receiving numerous "Fuck you, you sick, disgusting bastard," comments on my stories.

And hey folks, let's not get boring, let's get kinky.

Bibliography:

1.) Fernbach, Amanda

Fantasies of FETISHISM from Decadence to the Post-Human

2002 Rutgers University Press New Brunswick, NJ

2.) Love, Brenda

Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices

1999 Greenwich Editions, London.